To be shocked at friend - Chicken pox related...

[backonthebikeagain]

So, my friends ds woke up with chicken pox on Tuesday. That evening she took him to a bowling party and then Pizza Hut.

She has a close family member, a 4 yo, who has leukaemia and knows how dangerous chicken pox can be to him. (let along to pg women who havent had it)

She sent me some photos on Thursday of his spots and I haven't responded.

AIBU to think that if your child has cp you dont take them to public places like this? I am so tempted to say something but wonder if Im over reacting due to the child we know. Plus, what would saying something now achieve!

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Chickenpox/Pages/Prevention.aspx nhs says stay at home for 5 days. She was irresponsible to take them out in public and to a party

You can't do much about not spreading the disease before the spots appear but that doesn't make it OK not knowingly spread them after the spots have come out.

I would say something. Just in case it happens again. I would be really cross. Someone I know did this took child to a birthday party knowing they had chicken pox. She really got told off by ALL the mums afterwards. Her sttitude was they are going to get it at some point. And yes I agree with that but two mums were pregnant . Very unfair

I'd say something maybe she's oblivious to the real risks of chicken pox especially to children who are already ill.

The spots started the morning she took him out so he was still getting spots. I'm bloody fuming. I might try to calm down a bit before I mention it.

Was the immune compromised child at the party?

Say something.

When I had chickenpox as a child I recall feeling ill (but not super ill) but definitely time off school with DB annoying the hell out of each other and itchy and calamine lotion! Certainly not the time to be socialising and not when you don't know what's other sick people are out there (there could be someone being taken out for the day who's got a reduced immune system etc and you wouldn't know).

Perhaps if our friends pointed out when we were acting like inconsiderate selfish gits more, we would do it less.

As someone linked upthread, NHS advice is to keep children infected with chickenpox at home for 5 days after the onset of the rash. However, they then go on to slightly contradict themselves by saying, if you get it yourself, you should actually stay home until the last blister has scabbed over, which is 'usually' five or six days after the rash begins. Here.

When ds2 got chickenpox he was absolutely covered with blisters, very poorly and seemed to keep getting new crops every day. He had one large blister in his hair that refused to scab over until just over two weeks after the initial onset of the rash, so it's not always as simple as five days at home, then back to school. A bit of common sense needs to be used as well. None of mine left the house until all their blisters had scabbed over, regardless of how long that took.

When I spoke to school they said they wanted the dcs back in five days after the rash appeared, in line with government advice. Dd and ds1 were back after 6 days each, iirc, but when I phoned and explained that ds still had a huge blister on his head that hadn't crusted, they agreed he shouldn't go back until that one had dried up. The hair never grew back where that blister was, so he now has a large circular scar in the middle of his parting, poor lad.

I am currently on the sofa being subjected to non stop children's TV whilst my 2 year old has chicken pox. I wouldn't dream of taking him out. Apart from anything else he's not well and needs a restful time with lots of cuddles!
I did offer a pox party for any of my friends if they fancied (note they get the choice to come see my infectious child I didn't inflict it on them). The idea being that chicken pox is supposed to be worse the older you are so if you can have it at a time when sitting on the sofa in front of Thomas the Tank engine is a real treat and a babygro can stop scratching that's better.
I would say something to your friend along the line of "isn't it terrible that you took him to a crowded restaurant before you realised it was chicken pox". Some people really need to think about others. The posts along the lines of well they were contagious before we knew are saying there is no point shutting the stabledoor after the horse has bolted. Thing is Bolting horses are dangerous. As soon as you know it's bolted you get it back safe in the stable and shut it!!
Hope that made sense cbeebies might have adled my brains.

What is done is done, she can't undo it now. I'd just go with a simple "hope he feels better soon" and leave it at that, rant here instead. It is really bad though :(

mrsd agree always the same on these threads! I would be really ill getting cp. i was told i should stay in the house!!
My disibility already leaves me stucks in the house 98% of the time anyway!

backonthebikeagain, Zombie thinks your message to your friend might be more effective if you don't calm down too much before speaking with her.

How inconsiderate of others!

I would say something. Your friend is a selfish irresponsible twat.

Not as irresponsible as anti-vaccination bucketheads.

Agree with everything MrsD said - yes, staying home with a poxy child isn't fun, but the consequences of 'just getting milk' can be life shattering. As for going to Pizza Hut? Words fail me.

I don't think there is any point saying anything. Your friend is a twat and she doesn't care who her stupidity affects.

And I don't think you should calm down either before saying something. Your friend could be responsible for a pregnant woman catching cp or an immuno compromised person catching cp and the consequences could have life long implications. I'm actually furious even thinking about it. A pregnant woman getting exposed to cp can have devastating consequences for the baby and for a person with no immune system could be fatal. I could not be friends with a person with such a disgusting attitude towards vulnerable people.

I think you should say "oh no you must have had some really bad advice! Cp can be very dangerous for pregnan women and those with compromised immune systems. You absolutely must risk others by taking them out. I so sorry no one has warned you about this"

Must not obviously

DS3 currently has cp, which has now fully stabbed over after 10 days of getting the initial spots. I know too many people who have, or their kids have immune compromised conditions. So DS3 has stayed indoors while the spots are still contagious.