AIBU about DH's friend's comments re boozy stag do when I'm 38w?

[TeamSteady]

I am due DS3 in the first week of June.

Unfortunately there are two weddings we cannot go to this year as they fall v close to our due date and are hours and hours away, so we have had to decline. However DH is going to the stag do of one of them in early May. Part of me is a little as it is a three day affair but it is a close friend and work colleague so I understand.

However, Dh has also been invited to a second stag do around the same time. The groom is not a close friend this time, but someone he worked with about 2 years ago. I think they get on well enough, occasionally meet for drinks a few times per year but not close. He has been invited to the "alternate stag" which will include a wider circle of friends including female friends too. it is being held in central London, where DH and all these people work so easy to get to.

One of the women DH used to work with is organising said stag do and sent an email out asking re dates as she was thinking end of May. DH messaged back and basically said, happy to pop by but I won't be drinking as As Steady will be 38w pregnant then and so I need to be sober and not home late/ in a fit state to rush home if necessary. (DH commutes for work, it would be an hour to get home if he dropped and ran immediately).

She emailed back and said "We can discuss the not drinking and going home early when you get there!

AIBU to want to smack her in the face??! Ok, I admit I am full of raging hormones and it is not the sensible thing or a proportionate response! But really???!! What sensible individual in their 30's (so not some silly teenager) doesn't respect that actually getting off your face and staying out all night is not what you do when you have a heavily pregnant wife and two dc at home?! I have just found it so disrespectful towards me- as if I am some silly nagging wife who is a total bore, when really you'd rather drop her and come and party with us?

DH hasn't responded yet, but didn't seem bothered by the comment, in a kind of, "meh, I'm going to do what i said i would do- what i want to do, and what is the right thing to do, i'm not taking any notice." AIBU to be a little upset that he didn't actually point out what a twunt she was being?

I didn't say anything different did I?

It pisses me off generally when shit loads of posters stick the boot in on threads like this, but more so when it's a heavily pregnant woman who's started it. Now you're rolling out the 'pregnancy is not an excuse' bit to justify having a go. Get some self respect.

What are you on about Name?! Get some self respect? I fail to see where anyone lost their self respect, just people having a different opinion from you.

Women are clearly womens' worst enemy. For doing things like ignoring the responsibility of a DH to his 38w gestation DC, and ignoring the woman who is carrying that child's needs, and suggesting that the need to stay sober is negotiable and unnecessary? Yes, for having that kind of attitude women act like women's worst enemy.

But it was clearly a Joke! In fact not even really a joke, more of a tongue in cheek passing comment of acknowledgement that he would be attending!

Why everyone is feeling the need to come down on this woman for making such an innocuous comment is anyone's guess.

It's not like she's going to strap him to a table and water board him with vodka shots until he can barely stand. Unsurprisingly, the evening isn't actually about him, it's about the groom, who I'm sure is going to be the one under duress to have a few drinks and probably more so by his male friends than by the females.

I'm sure this woman has many better things to do with herself than worry about the responsibility of an acquaintance to his pregnant wife.

What a bonkers thread by some folk!
First of all I think th OP is being unreasonable
Secondly I would say it wasn't a joke as such , just banter, she was just having an email conversation and no doubt just joshing. I doubt whether she gives a shit whether the OPs DH drinks or not!

People have said things like this to me and I've said stuff like it. It's just lighthearted chat that means nowt!

I guess she is probably responding to your DHs long winded explanation as to why he won't be drinking . She probably wasn't interested in all that unnecessary detail. Just needs to know if he was coming or not.

she does deserve a smack in the mouth. < sigh>. Idiot alert!