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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross at dd

27 replies

PinanNidan · 18/02/2016 07:51

Dd attends a group at night. She took my keys so she could let herself in.

She rang me to say she was on her way home and "oh btw I cant find my keys"

She hadn't gone back the three minutes walk to check the room.
Hadn't rang the group leader to ask if there.

They had been out on an estate with the group only a couple of streets but hadn't looked.

She then launched into a massive strop that i was bothered she had lost my keys including much yelling from her about unreasonable I was including yelling it was about time i shut my mouth Angry

I feel like making her pay to change the blooming locks with her attitude tbh.

OP posts:
SalemSaberhagen · 18/02/2016 07:54

She should be paying to change the locks. How old is your DD? 'About you shut your mouth?' How dare she speak to you like that?

RJnomore1 · 18/02/2016 07:55

How old is she?

Why doesn't she have a key of her own?

Ledkr · 18/02/2016 07:56

How old?
My sd loses everything including keys.
Currentjy she has one tap shoe and a tap exam next week Hmm does my blooming head in

Ledkr · 18/02/2016 08:01

If she told me to shut my mouth I shut hers yo pretty quickly too!

Original poster
PinanNidan · 18/02/2016 08:02

She turns 13 in three weeks.
She does have her own keys but took mine because they were on the hook and hers were upstairs.

Tbh if she had come home having looked for them or with the littlest bit of being bothered I would feel a lot more forgiving!

OP posts:
mrtwitsglasseye · 18/02/2016 08:04

At that age, she would lose the privilege of going to the group if she were mine

CooPie10 · 18/02/2016 08:09

Wow a 13yo nipper telling you to shut your mouth. You should have shut hers. What a bad attitude she has. Change the locks and make this madam pay for it.

Original poster
PinanNidan · 18/02/2016 08:11

I don't want to stop that particular group as it is quite important and has a lot of community work etc.

But she is grounded and WILL be missing her weekend karate session and a party on Sunday.

OP posts:
Original poster
PinanNidan · 18/02/2016 08:13

I know Coo Angry I'm shocked about the change in attitude from my previous lovely girl .

OP posts:
diddl · 18/02/2016 08:15

That is appalling.

Of course she should pay.

13 is plenty old enough to keep a key safe in a pocket for a few hours!

diddl · 18/02/2016 08:16

Does she need keys to get in from school?

If not, she wouldn't be getting a new set for a while!

TheCatsMeow · 18/02/2016 08:18

Why do you need to change the lock? Just get a new key cut.

I lose my keys all the time, she was probably defensive because you made her feel stupid but there's no need for her to be like that.

Lightbulbon · 18/02/2016 08:20

Welcome to the world of raising teens.

Mine have lost keys countless times.

Just make sure there's nothing identifiable on your key rings.

diddl · 18/02/2016 08:22

Was there anything to identify the keys as being to your house?

If not, just take yours back!

TheFairyCaravan · 18/02/2016 08:22

Shock at her saying it was about time you shut your mouth. That's horrendous.

She wouldn't be needing keys if she were mine because she wouldn't be leaving the house for a bloody long time if she'd spoken to me like that.

diddl · 18/02/2016 08:22

Take hers!

ManneryTowers · 18/02/2016 08:22

Unless your keys had your address on them why do you need to change the locks? By all means make her pay for a new key and an extra spare key to be cut though. That's the best part of a tenner round here!

SmallGreenBouncyBall · 18/02/2016 08:23

Why do you need to change the lock? because it might invalidate home insurance.

Youarentkiddingme · 18/02/2016 08:23

As you have another set I'd be making her pay the cost of getting them cut again. I

I'd also be talking to her about remembering to speak nicely to people even when upset and embarrassed and scared.

It's absolutely not ok that she told you to shut your mouth but we know as adults when something that's major to us happens our usual reaction is anger. I suspect your DD panicked about the trouble she was in.

TheCatsMeow · 18/02/2016 08:25

Small

Unless there's an address on the key ring or something else that makes it clear where it's from that's a pretty big stretch.

I've lost countless keys and never changed the locks, because no one is stupid enough to go around putting keys in random doors on the off chance they'll get in are they

Original poster
PinanNidan · 18/02/2016 08:28

I've got hers.
I'm just worried as she lost them within half of the mile of the house. There was just keys and a club card but she has no idea where she lost them and can't really confirm she didn't leave them in the door on her way out.

OP posts:
bruffin · 18/02/2016 08:28

Lost keys are actually covered under some insurance policies. They will send a locksmith out to replace locks with no excess (i think). I had my keys stolen in london and they were round the next day to replace all our locks.

Original poster
PinanNidan · 18/02/2016 08:29

I'm presuming no one can get details from a found club card...

OP posts:
thisproofseverything · 18/02/2016 08:30

At 13 they're finding their way - they come out with inappropriate things at the wrong time. She's out of order but a chat about the outburst rather than anything too harsh may be enough at this point. As long as it's a one-off, I wouldn't get too wound up. Be firm and operate a one-chance system. I've found that to be the most effective (made lots of mistakes coming to that conclusion).

TheCatsMeow · 18/02/2016 08:31

They can't get your details from a club card unless it's got your name on it. I wouldn't bother changing the lock OP

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