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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Tricky situation, please help!

112 replies

manicattack · 15/02/2016 13:34

Ok where to start, My girlfriends best friend has put me in a bit of a bind, she decided she's ready to not only talk to girls on this plenty of fish site but she's been actually going out and meeting up.

At first i kinda thought its not my business but then i realised that my girlfriend also new all about this too and had obvioviously been keeping it a secret, well my girlfriend told me about this kiss her best friend had the other night with this group of other lesbians.

im devasted i actually get on better with my girlfriends bestfriends girlfriend and i totally adore the baby, but now i m not going to be able to sit with them knowing i could just get an attack of the guilt monster and just blurt it out it as it has happened before.

Mind you she's no angel, she has slept with men in the past, but i thought after they planned their baby and she was born they would all end up with their happy ending.

Im worried about when it does come out and she knows i knew and i never said anything, will she hate me too?, im not great at lying and if she asked me she'd no there was something wrong .

what do i do?

OP posts:

EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 15/02/2016 16:07

I'd say that it's not your circus and not your monkeys OP.

Pipbin · 15/02/2016 16:07

the cheating partners nephews the donnor

Are you saying that the nephew of the cheating partner is the biological father? Good lord this is complicated.

As you say, for a gay couple to have a baby it takes planning. It wasn't an accident.

toldmywrath · 15/02/2016 16:08

That is true, LovelyFriend. No offence meant. I'm finding it harder to understand stuff that isn't punctuated, the older I get.

CircusFeak · 15/02/2016 16:08

I have a feeling this partner isnt so squeky clean herself, is there something you're not telling us OP

Maybe there just as bad as eachother and everyone should mind there own business and let them get on with it?

queenMab99 · 15/02/2016 16:09

The mean girls are out in force today. (care needs to be taken with spelling when criticising other peoples grammar)

sheffieldsteeler · 15/02/2016 16:10

Oh, circusfeak, just spit it out - no one's noticed your two previous LOUD HINTS so you might as well just stop the meaningful ahems from the wings, and reveal yourself.

ghostyslovesheep · 15/02/2016 16:12

Leave it alone - none of your business

DropYourSword · 15/02/2016 16:15

Hasn't there already been another thread about this?!

Original poster

manicattack · 15/02/2016 16:16

My grammar punctuation and paragraph's aren't going to change because your belittling me. I work with men the banters on a whole other level and to be honest im glad im giving you something to do on your day off

OP posts:

Arfarfanarf · 15/02/2016 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CircusFeak · 15/02/2016 16:19

Sheffield i just think people deserve the full story before they judge!

decisionsdecisions123 · 15/02/2016 16:22

Jiminy cricket I cannot keep up with the Op. Have you just started learning how to be a carpenter Op or are you picking up a new skill at college?

Benny Hill is killing me now!

DonkeyOaty · 15/02/2016 16:24

Well I don't know what to think now.

I think everyone needs a cup of tea to regroup thoughts, non?

LovelyFriend · 15/02/2016 16:27

I wasn't belittling you - I was giving you advice.
You know, like you asked for.

Mean girls please! Did you have any actual advice queenMa? Or did you you just drop by to gwap?

the OP was confused with the responses she was getting, so I gave her a proper response, then I gave her the advice to get better responses to her situation, try not to type in one massive breathless sentence.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 15/02/2016 16:35

Lets be rational about this. No one needs a shelf for twigs and pebbles.

Original poster

manicattack · 15/02/2016 16:35

Well at least im not the only one with the attack of the jiminey crickets is it really common to cheat now or do we just talk about it more i dont understand why people can't just be satisfied and really appericate there partners in my eyes my partner is the most amazing women i have ever had the pleasure of spending time with i love nothing more then coming home after a long day and telling her as i wrap my arms around her waist that i ve missed her and i love her just one small act of gratitude for her being my love i just dont understand why tourture each other why not just move on and let the other find someone that they can truley love and trust before they end up so damaged they punish every partner after. Im going to phone her and have it out

OP posts:

Sunnyshores · 15/02/2016 16:35

OP Have you told your GF?
Id tell her and leave it at that, your 'guilt' can end then - its her BF so GF can decide wether to tell or not. (but I am chicken-shit)

Sunnyshores · 15/02/2016 16:38

Sorry, re-read and i see your GF does know. In that case its on them really, you're just an inncocent bystander and you can show your displeasure by not having GFs BF in your house. Then if when it comes out, you wont feel like such a cow for keeping the secret.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 15/02/2016 17:16

Breathe!

Original poster

manicattack · 15/02/2016 17:36

Ive been on the phone to the cheating partner, shes not bothered if and when her parntner finds out, so i explained that me and my partner dont want anything to do with her lies, my partners frame of mind has changed because i explained that if it was the other round my partner would be devastaed that everyone knew and didnt tell her, its like a double betrayal.

Last thing im gonna say, what a shame to find out you've only been an option for 5 years.

OP posts:

Original poster

manicattack · 15/02/2016 17:37

My beautiful girlfriend wrote that for me

OP posts:

Sparklingbrook · 15/02/2016 17:43

LilacSpunkMonkey · 15/02/2016 17:45

That's nice, dear.

Are there not some shelves you could be putting up?

sparkleface · 15/02/2016 18:02

Ooooh, the plot thickens! I used to exclusively date women and I must say this thread is bringing back lots of nostalgia for the lesbian drama years!

Can we stop being mean to the OP about her writing style though? I know the original post is hard to understand but this thread is chock full of juicy drama and carpentry: what more do you all want?!

OP did you or your girlfriend phone the cheating one? Do you believe that she doesn't care? It sounds like she is ready to end the relationship, but this is a very lame and cowardly way of doing it. Shame about the baby and her paternity, but at least your friend (the non-cheating partner) can now count on both yours and your gf's support.

Sparklingbrook · 15/02/2016 18:14

but this thread is chock full of juicy drama and carpentry

I think I understand the carpentry bit. Sort of. the rest not so much.

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