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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour very ranty about our cat

259 replies

CaptainWarbeck · 15/02/2016 04:41

Right I have just been accosted while putting the baby into the car by our neighbour who is a (generally) lovely elderly woman. She is very garden-proud and not at all happy about our cat.

We have a ginger cat who is outside during the day and in at night. There are lots of other cats in the area. Our cat is digging occasionally in her flowerbeds, which I do get is frustrating for her as she loves to garden.

Her very cross suggestions: I should be watching the cat at all times he is outside so digging cannot happen (ffs sake I have a 9m old and a job) OR we should be keeping him inside and never letting him back out again OR we should be madly erecting fences everywhere to prevent him getting anywhere near her (he's a cat, he would climb and jump them).

AIBU to think if you live in a communal area with cats around, the occasional bit of digging is annoying but kind of just one of those things?

I'm admittedly hormonal and grumpy (despite being very polite to her) and this has not been a good start to the day. Any practical suggestions on either the cat or ways to make her stop banging on about it?

OP posts:
MrBensMrs · 17/02/2016 20:30

I wouldn't ask, I'd just do it, it's not harmful and it should deter them!

Flashbangandgone · 17/02/2016 21:06

Would be interesting to know if the difference of opinion on this corresponds in any way to location. Living in different parts of England my whole life, cats being outdoors are treated as part of life... Some people love them, some people hate them, but few seem that cats will and do roam, even if they personally don't like it. The comment that 'cats get taken to the pound if found out' can't be from the UK surely? Australia perhaps?

Flashbangandgone · 17/02/2016 21:07

'Few seem' should be 'few seem to challenge'

kali110 · 17/02/2016 22:40

limited was he ok? Poor cat!mine both leg it from ours, yet if they are in their outside pen they sit around it as if guarding them Grin

JacquesHammer · 18/02/2016 10:02

Perhaps wrongly I don't think digging up some of a flower bed in next door's garden is damaging property

Ah it isn't Smile

It repeatedly keeps getting into my house and has scratched the carpet by the front door to buggery. It also keeps sitting in the same place on my car bonnet and has wrecked the paintwork

limitedperiodonly · 18/02/2016 10:26

He was winded and confused kali but no real harm done. He might have just been interested but the rabbit wasn't to know that. Rabbits can be quite fierce, can't they?

The cat really was the sweetest most loyal thing and never killed anything to my knowledge. He sometimes used to stand over the body of a bird looking proud but we were pretty sure his brother had killed it.

limitedperiodonly · 18/02/2016 10:48

He used to follow you up to the front gate to see you off. We went to say goodbye to him the night before my mum had to have him put down and the brave little thing struggled up the path and stood there while we drove away. I'm crying now.

ExConstance · 18/02/2016 10:54

The plants that my next door neighbour's cat dug out of my planter to have a crap cost £18. It looked really lovely as they had filed the container and were growing down the sides, I would like to replace them but she would probably only do it again.

BeeppityBeep · 18/02/2016 11:25

The motion activated water jets work!

Really well. If I have them set up I have no cat (or fox) crap and if I don't have them set up I do.

kali110 · 18/02/2016 13:24

limited that's so sweet! Yes rabbits can be! My first one would stamp repearedly and bite my mother but never do anything to me Grin
Our latest that were dumped have only bitten when we first got them for attention. They would come over and nip my fingers if i weren't paying attention!

MidniteScribbler · 19/02/2016 01:05

Excuse my ignorance as I don't know much about cats but the people who were talking about lion poo-is it literally the poo of a lion?

It doesn't work! It's a total myth. I have no idea why people keep believing this shite about the bigger predator.

Dotandethel · 19/02/2016 10:05

It's a cat. They walk amongst us. You can offer her some things to put the cat off going there and that's about it. You can't keep a cat in all the time. I personally would rather see lovely cats wandering around than worry about a bit of shit. This land is becoming so sterile

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 19/02/2016 11:00

What I will never understand with threads like this is when some cat owners say things like "it's just what cats do", with a rather "tough luck you don't like my pet being a nuisance" attitude. To be clear, no-one has to have a pet. If you really want a pet (which I understand because I'm a huge animal lover) then there are plenty of potential pets to chose from which will not have a negative impact on your neighbours, their gardens and the local wildlife. So if you choose to keep a cat and it is not confined to your own garden then that is selfish behaviour on your part. I can't believe it's such a prevent attitude well, actually I can, because the world is unfortunately full of "I'm all right Jack" types!

If it was legal for people to shoot cats that were unwelcome in their gardens I bet either;

  1. fewer people would keep cats as pets because the risks would be too high, or
  2. cat owners would cat-proof their garden so their pets could't get over the walls/fences.

BTW I like cats and hate any form of animal cruelty. But what I don't like is the sheer numbers of them and the attitudes of so many of their owners who see them a minimal responsibility pet. Thank you to EponasWildDaughter who has highlighted how easily it was to keep her cat in her own garden.

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 19/02/2016 11:01

"I've had my new cat for a month now...I'm worried about cat-hating neighbours hurting him or him getting run over...I wish there was an easier solution."

This is laughable FlowersAndShit. Seriously, the simple solution would be for you not to have got yourself a cat!Confused You could have chosen either not to own a pet at all or one that wouldn't cause you to worry about it.

cleaty · 19/02/2016 12:08

Some people are very intolerant.

mincepieprivateeye · 19/02/2016 12:33

I'm allergic to cats and I really dislike the fact they kill thousands of birds frogs etc and the fact they roam into people's gardens and use them as toilets. My previous neighbours got an adult cat because their children wanted a pet. She told me they were getting a car because they didn't need much care! It was out the majority of the time, they would leave it out for two weeks to go on holiday and had another neighbour feed it outside. It got run over so they got another. I got fed up of finding dead birds and mice in my front garden and on my drive so eventually I used to put them on their drive to dispose of. Sadly many cat owners seem to have the same mentality on cats, they're only their responsibility when they're actually inside the house but they aren't inside that often. Put the cat out before they go to work then put it back out before they go to bed, out of sight out of mind Confused can't really see the point of that type of pet

Headmelt · 19/02/2016 12:43

Place marking for later SmileCakeBrew

JacquesHammer · 19/02/2016 14:04

Some people are very intolerant

Well yes - why should I tolerate someone else's pet damaging my property?

Dotandethel · 19/02/2016 17:00

It's digging a hole not spraypainting your Walls and trashing your B and Q furniture set.

FreshHorizons · 19/02/2016 17:36

A cat is not a pet that you keep indoors.
You just have to tolerate it- I speak as a person with no pets.
I wonder when people got so intolerant- I don't remember this attitude years ago.
Cats have always been a popular pet choice- cats will always be a popular pet choice.

FreshHorizons · 19/02/2016 17:40

It will never be legal to shoot a cat merely because it comes onto your land uninvited. I remember someone calling them ' vermin' which is ridiculous when they are a domestic pet.
I don't want pigeons and crows in my garden, I have to tolerate them because they are free to fly in if they wish.

OttiliaVonBCup · 19/02/2016 17:47

Cats are welcome to come in my garden.

Whether they make it out is not my worry.
Not my monkeys.

FreshHorizons · 19/02/2016 17:56

Cats are not stupid- e.g if you have a noisy dog they are likely to avoid.

bodenbiscuit · 19/02/2016 18:04

im afraid it is your responsibility - I have a house cat and would only ever have house cats. The thing I would worry most about is the possibility that this person could harm your cat. I have heard of it happening a lot :(

OttiliaVonBCup · 19/02/2016 18:05

My dogs aren't stupid either, and love chasing the cats.