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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour very ranty about our cat

259 replies

CaptainWarbeck · 15/02/2016 04:41

Right I have just been accosted while putting the baby into the car by our neighbour who is a (generally) lovely elderly woman. She is very garden-proud and not at all happy about our cat.

We have a ginger cat who is outside during the day and in at night. There are lots of other cats in the area. Our cat is digging occasionally in her flowerbeds, which I do get is frustrating for her as she loves to garden.

Her very cross suggestions: I should be watching the cat at all times he is outside so digging cannot happen (ffs sake I have a 9m old and a job) OR we should be keeping him inside and never letting him back out again OR we should be madly erecting fences everywhere to prevent him getting anywhere near her (he's a cat, he would climb and jump them).

AIBU to think if you live in a communal area with cats around, the occasional bit of digging is annoying but kind of just one of those things?

I'm admittedly hormonal and grumpy (despite being very polite to her) and this has not been a good start to the day. Any practical suggestions on either the cat or ways to make her stop banging on about it?

OP posts:
bodenbiscuit · 19/02/2016 18:10

Ottlia - allowing your dogs to chase a cat is a horrible thing to do.

Catphrase · 19/02/2016 18:11

I've seen things you can put on the top of fences that apparently keep your cats in the garden. They are large cylinders that spin so they can't grip them. I don't know how well they work but seemed impressed with the theory.

JacquesHammer · 19/02/2016 18:16

It's digging a hole not spraypainting your Walls and trashing your B and Q furniture set

No its trashing my hallway carpet when it sneaks in (for example if I leave the door open to carry something from boot of car to house) and it is trashing the paintwork on my car bonnet because it always sits there

JacquesHammer · 19/02/2016 18:16

Indeed in Summer I cannot leave a downstairs window open nor have my patio doors open because the cat will come in.

OttiliaVonBCup · 19/02/2016 18:17

Finding cat shit everywhere is more horrible.

Besides, the dogs love it. They won't ever catch one, though.

FreshHorizons · 19/02/2016 19:14

I have no intention of having a cat, but I certainly wouldn't have a 'house' cat- I don't think you should have one at all if it is going to never go out and run, climb trees etc.

limitedperiodonly · 19/02/2016 19:36

I disagree freshhorizons, and unlike you I have a cat.

For 11 years he was an indoor cat and was very happy. Now he goes into my garden and follows me around the block. He doesn't want to climb trees or shit in other people's gardens.

It's not Swallows and Amazons meets SAS: Are You Tough Enough? There is a middle way of cat ownership.

bodenbiscuit · 19/02/2016 20:04

We have a ragdoll and we couldn't let her out because of her docile personality and also because she would be more likely to be stolen.

mintleaf · 19/02/2016 20:28

Our next door neighbour has a cat - it used to drive me mad. It would come in to our garden, poo, dig, harass our rabbits etc. would also come in through doors and windows and potter round the house. The biggest problem was the rabbits though. They (the rabbits) used to go free range in the garden alot but we had to stop that when the neighbour and his cat arrived as the cat would stalk/chase them - so we put them in runs. We discussed it in a friendly way with the cat's owner - just over the fence one day as it was a fairly obvious problem to both him and us. But as he said, and I sympathised, it's not possible to control where cats go.

In the end my mum took the rabbits after an incident where one dug its way out of its run and was chased and frightened half to death by this cat. So this cat (which I quite like by the way - I just like my rabbits more) really impacted on our lives in the end. So while I really like cats as animals I do see the point of view that it's problematic to simply say - "well it's a cat, it's going to go where it wants, people should be tolerant". I imagine that if someone's dog got in to a cat owner's garden and chased their cat the cat owner would be (understandably) fuming. In fact, someone up thread has just said it's wrong for someone to allow dogs to chase cats in 'the dog's' own garden. But my experience is of a cat coming in to my garden and upsetting my pets. Grrr.

Anyway, I've had the last laugh. Now the rabbits are gone I can just focus on being a cat lover. Cats are fickle creatures and neighbour's cat is now over at ours all of the time. They've stopped pooing in the garden, presumably because they're round so much that they consider it their own territory now. The owner asked me to stop allowing his cats into my house - but I had to remind him of his own argument that it isn't possible to stop cats from going where they want - which at the mo is often our house. I never feed them or encourage them in btw, and would never shut them in, I just don't stop them). It's childish but I do get some satisfaction from this turn of events. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

MrsTrentReznor · 19/02/2016 20:32

I used to pick up half a carrier bag of shit every couple of weeks from my garden.
I lost it in the end, stood there crying with my shit scraping trowel in my hand and just stopped using my garden.
Other people's pets did that.
How is that fair?
I spent a small fortune on all of the products that don't fucking work.
I hate cats and I hate the lazy owners that made my garden unusable.

AmIthatbloodycold · 19/02/2016 21:15

These threads seem to bring out the worst in people. Then they retreat to their own cat friendly part of MN. And complain that MN should do something about the weirdos and sickos who pick on these regulars.

At least that's what happened the last time I contributed to a thread about cats.

In the meantime, I'm still picking up shit from my front garden, on an almost daily basis. Unfortunately, as I work FT I don't have the luxury of lying in wait for the little bastard with a soaker.

And no,it's not buried, it's no dog or fox, it's definitely cat

And I'm sick of cleaning up my garden

OttiliaVonBCup · 19/02/2016 21:24

Form an orderly queue for Ottilia's doggies, rented out on a first come first served basis.
No cat unchased, no hole in the fence unguarded.
Get the cat or die trying.

barely

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2016 21:52

Blimey 5 days on and this is still going? Shock

limitedperiodonly · 19/02/2016 22:01

My cat is generally a lovely. But this evening he got on my tits by serially harassing me for a bit of chicken from my plate, only to turn up his nose because it was cooked in a mustard sauce. He walked off in disgust to some other part of the house. He has very plain tastes. But at least he only annoys me and not my neighbours by shitting in their gardens.

limitedperiodonly · 19/02/2016 22:03

I thought you had AIBU hidden sparklingbrook?

Sparklingbrook · 19/02/2016 22:12

Not at the moment.

IloveAntbuthateDec · 19/02/2016 23:11

Ugh! I hate people who get cats and then expect the neighbours to put up with their shit! If cats are "free spirits" and want to roam why bother inflicting them on the neighbours in the first place?

WhatALoadOfOldBollocks · 20/02/2016 08:19

Cats are the perfect pet for selfish people...get one, have a few cuddles, then let it out and take no respsonsibility for it. A shame because they are lovely animals but they are often just not suitable for the environment we have to share. I actually can't believe they are still so popular considering how they polarise opinions, but I suppose while there are people who like cats and don't care what they get up to they will always be a popular pet.

I wish the law would change so that cats must be kept within the boundary of the owner's property. It can be done apparently, with a few little modifications to the fence/wall, so why don't most cat owners do it? Why? And the argument that you can't keep them in and that they naturally roam doesn't hold water to me; dogs will jump fences (some of them very high!) and will naturally roam, yet we rightly realised they are a PITA when unsupervised and made it an offense to let them do whatever they want.

Gowgirl · 20/02/2016 09:09

Damn missed the cat thread!

Still giggling at the thought of putting my furry, feral bitch on a lead....
She's fairly pretty laying in the garden (probally wondering what to kill next) but in no way is she a pet she just condescends to live here and let me feed her. On the bright side our mouse population we found when we moved in have now moved out and about once a month she will lay on my lap so I can brush her - then she bites me and runs away!

Maybe your neighbour would like her as a gift op?

FreshHorizons · 20/02/2016 12:25

I would ban people from keeping a cat if they never get out. Quite simply don't have a cat.
People have always had cats and I can't remember this level of intolerance.

FreshHorizons · 20/02/2016 12:27

People keep cats. Cats are independent and wander.
I can guarantee that if I were to go out for a walk now in my residential area I will see plenty of cats I never see people getting upset about it.

FreshHorizons · 20/02/2016 12:29

I think it is a MN problem where all the cat haters come in one thread and the vast majority don't bother commenting.

bodenbiscuit · 20/02/2016 12:39

My cat has no desire to wander - she doesn't even try to get out. She's perfectly content. I think it is not at all unreasonable for people to be annoyed about other cats using their garden as a crapper when they haven't chosen that situation.

The idea of letting pets wander is a uk thing mostly - it's not allowed in the US for example.

Neighbour very ranty about our cat
FreshHorizons · 20/02/2016 12:57

Thank goodness we don't follow the US in everything.
Cats have always had freedom in UK.

charlestonchaplin · 20/02/2016 13:19

If neighbours have a problem with cat poo they are unlikely to say anything. Why would they? They probably guess, correctly, that they will be met by, 'It's not my cat', 'It's no big deal', 'Tough' or worse, they'll start a vendetta. British people are reticent, especially where neighbours are concerned at the best of times, let alone when imparting negative information.