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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour very ranty about our cat

259 replies

CaptainWarbeck · 15/02/2016 04:41

Right I have just been accosted while putting the baby into the car by our neighbour who is a (generally) lovely elderly woman. She is very garden-proud and not at all happy about our cat.

We have a ginger cat who is outside during the day and in at night. There are lots of other cats in the area. Our cat is digging occasionally in her flowerbeds, which I do get is frustrating for her as she loves to garden.

Her very cross suggestions: I should be watching the cat at all times he is outside so digging cannot happen (ffs sake I have a 9m old and a job) OR we should be keeping him inside and never letting him back out again OR we should be madly erecting fences everywhere to prevent him getting anywhere near her (he's a cat, he would climb and jump them).

AIBU to think if you live in a communal area with cats around, the occasional bit of digging is annoying but kind of just one of those things?

I'm admittedly hormonal and grumpy (despite being very polite to her) and this has not been a good start to the day. Any practical suggestions on either the cat or ways to make her stop banging on about it?

OP posts:

WitchWay · 15/02/2016 15:26

Cat bury their usual poos but leave big obvious dollops as territory markers - nice

super soaker - reminds me I need one to stop ND bastard cat terrorising my lovely kitties...

OldFarticus · 15/02/2016 15:31

cbeebie it was not pretty. I was half expecting it, but DH (not from UK) thought I was exaggerating the risk until he went to investigate the mysterious cloud of feathers on the horizon. It was still (just) daylight when it happened.

My DGD who grew up in the country and was a bit of a bumpkin told us to leave the chickens where they were and the fox would come back for them. (The fox only took one away, so I was wailing about him not even being hungry! ) Sure enough, they were all gone the next night so at least something good came of it in a slightly grotesque circle-of-life type way.

We now have new hens - just like the old hens but with Version 2.0 after their names - cos we are so original! Happily they have been fine

Sorry for thread hijack OP

SweetAdeline · 15/02/2016 15:41

We chose to rent our house because it has a lovely enclosed, garden all laid to lawn which we thought the DC would love to play in. It's reached the point where we don't use it anymore because it's just a giant cat toilet. We're are one of the few houses without a cat or dog (because we're not allowed one by the landlord) and I think the neighbourhood cats are engaging in a turf (or should that be turd) war because they just do it right on the lawn. We've tried lion poo, a sonic deterrent and throwing water on them. I've given up now that it's winter, they can have the garden and hopefully we'll be moved by the Summer.

biscuiteater · 15/02/2016 15:44

The Fox took our hens in the middle of the day, it was lunchtime from right outside our house. Our new ones are now in a pen. We put broken glass under the pen foundations and use weld mesh instead of chicken wire because the fox also bit through the chicken wire once. It's very wild here! People saying about fencing your garden to keep out cats would be impossible here, we have woodland so cats can climb trees and jump over. I am always having to clean our garden up but the poo is from pheasant's, badgers and foxes. Just life in the country really. I do see cats but haven't noticed any poo from them.

SweetAdeline · 15/02/2016 15:45

People leaving dog shit on the pavement is fucking grim too but at least I can just step round that instead of having to clean it up like the cat poo in my garden.

MistressDeeCee · 15/02/2016 15:48

I get the neighbour some cat deterrent and thats it

People need to get used to the fact we share this earth with cats - and thats it. If its not your cat OP it'll be another cat. So unless your neighbour is going to become the cat wanderer, on alert at all times, or accost everyone in the vicinity who has a cat, or shoot/poison strays then deterrent is the only way. Even if every neighbour got rid of their cat, how would she prevent other cats entering the area, big village sign saying Do Not Enter?! I wouldn't offer to buy all the deterrent stuff Id just buy it, give it to her then I wouldn't want to hear anything more about the matter

bigmouthstrikesagain · 15/02/2016 15:58

The ops never mentioned the issue of her cat pooing on the neighbours lawn, the issue was digging up flower beds. I know my cats dig up and toss soil around our house plants if we leave them on the floor but haven't pooed as well as we would definitely smell that! They also poo in our garden as we see them do it. They are very old and set in their ways and I am pretty sure they don't poo else where but as I had to lock one of them up in a room with a litter tray for 24 hours just to get a wee sample, getting them to use a litter tray for all toileting now would not go well. As for keeping them indoors we have tried that and boy cat nearly throttled himself with his collar and broke the cat flap off its hinges bashing his way out!

Some cats will live happily indoors and that is fine. But others will not, it is hard to predict what type you will have and you fall in love with them if you are their owner. You should be responsible and try to minimise irritation and encroachment on your neighbours. We have never had a complaint, and our neighbours were very sympathetic when one went missing. I have been equally understanding about our neighbours yappy nervous dogs, another has chickens and it wandered into my house last week, that was fun, I kept her safe let her owners know and they retrieved her gratefully, she did a poo in my hallway but I had no urge to slaughter her even when I slid on it! it's part of being in a community. People seem to spend some much time on edge, waiting to be offended, life is stressful enough without losing our shit over a these petty inconveniences. We are all just guys you know?

ChickyChickyParmParm · 15/02/2016 16:00

Do you think one of those meteorological balloons would be stong enough to carry a cat up to the troposphere? I could buy a meteorological balloon kit and send cats up into space.

Moreisnnogedag · 15/02/2016 16:26

I love living in t'countryside. On our road we all have cats (weirdly all black cats). If we all kept them indoors we'd be carried away by mice.

Apparently our cat goes to our neighbours field and sits on the fence as if he owns the place. Our neighbours old cat takes refuge in our field because our Tom has a soft spot for her and protects her from other neighbours fighty cat

thebiscuitindustry · 15/02/2016 16:29

coffeeisnectar · 15/02/2016 16:51

I find some of the threats of violence on here horrifying.

We have four cats. All of them rescues, the third was taken in from a friend whose child developed allergies, the fourth was a previous neighbours cat and they've moved. We took the cat on and he's infamous here. He's broken into every house in the street over the last couple of years, ransacking cupboards and generally being a thief. However we are hoping he will stop now he's with us and being fed regularly as we don't think he was treated too well by the old owners. Or the kids :(.

Two of my cats choose to stay in. Both the boys like to go out. We live near woods and I hope they toilet in there but I have no idea where they go. I'm thankful I'm in a street of nice people and we all have either cats or dogs and are generally animal lovers.

I'd be distraught if anyone thought it was fine to kill a cat because they went in their garden. What kind of people think this is ok?

LilacSpunkMonkey · 15/02/2016 16:56

I would like to send into space anyone who gets a kick out of laughing at the thought of hurting animals.

ChickyChickyParmParm · 15/02/2016 17:14

I would like to send into space anyone who doesn't get hyperbole for comic effect!

SweetAdeline · 15/02/2016 17:19

Because joking about sending a cat into space is terrible but shouting BINGO on hearing about a blind child is absolutely fine

LilacSpunkMonkey · 15/02/2016 17:24

Because whenever there's a thread about cats, someone always appear to say they know someone whose child was blinded by cat shirt.

Every single time.

Then, off they pop again.

And I called that in advance way back up the thread and said it would happen.

Hence my 'Bingo'.

SweetAdeline · 15/02/2016 17:30

Yes, same as how someone always mentions fox and hedgehog shit. I got why you said it thanks. But when you shout "BINGO" after someone tells how their friend was blinded by cat shit it makes you look just as much of an arsehole as people who joke about hurting animals.

lookoutitsapiano · 15/02/2016 17:31

Yabu, it is really bloody annoying when peoples free range pets destroy my flowerbeds that we spend a lot of time and money on.

BabyGanoush · 15/02/2016 17:35

So OP, you think your neighbour should be community spirited and put up with it.

...whilst you can take a "f*ck you" approach to her concerns?

nice

Why even own a cat when you work full time and have a baby, what is the point other than annoy the neighbours?

you are the one that is not very neighbourly and community spirited.

To me cats are as annoying and horrid as rats. Not everyone likes cats.

ChickyChickyParmParm · 15/02/2016 17:54

In so many places cats have helped destroy the ecosystem, killing native birds and other small animals. New Zealand is a case in point. People not giving a shit about what their animal does are contributing to the downfall of some pretty precarious ecosystems. And yes, I know it's not JUST cats, before anyone jumps on me. I also dislike rats and other pests that endanger wildlife.

That's why I'm firmly in the 'send cats into space' camp. (nb: that is a joke and I will not be sending cats into space).

bigmouthstrikesagain · 15/02/2016 18:47

Human beings are destroying ecosystems very effectively all the time, we have a much bigger and more destructive footprint than the average cat. I think that argument is not much use in a domestic issue regarding a pesky cat and an understandably pissed off neighbour, she doesn't mention the preservation of the bird population, just the digging up of her plants. The introduction of some car deterrents paid for by the op, will probably suffice, cat genocide might be an overreaction.

ghostyslovesheep · 15/02/2016 18:49

I wish my cats would shit in other peoples gardens - defective lazy fuckers only go in my flower beds

bigmouthstrikesagain · 15/02/2016 18:52

I do get the joke - just think its irrelevant in the situation as outlined. I hate most dogs but I get that people love them and my dislike is not based on their impact environmentally - though I can find plenty of justifications, my dislike came first and was never entirely rational.

ChickyChickyParmParm · 15/02/2016 19:33

Yes I know all that, bigmouth, I was just stating why I am in the 'send cats into space' camp and why I chuckled at the joke.

hollowlegs · 15/02/2016 19:40

If all cat owners had litter trays then the cats would have no need to dig and shit in other people's gardens.

I'm shocked at how many supposedly responsible owners don't keep a litter tray.
They're too lazy to clean it out every day. It's so much easier to open the door and let the cat out

It should be law that all cat owners have a litter tray.

(just like all responsible dog owners should arry plastic poop bags)

Binkybix · 15/02/2016 20:09

*Because whenever there's a thread about cats, someone always appear to say they know someone whose child was blinded by cat shirt.

Every single time.

Then, off they pop again.

And I called that in advance way back up the thread and said it would happen.

Hence my 'Bingo*

Are you saying you think it's a lie? If not then it really does make you look dreadful. Much worse than someone joking about sending a cat into space.

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