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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour very ranty about our cat

259 replies

CaptainWarbeck · 15/02/2016 04:41

Right I have just been accosted while putting the baby into the car by our neighbour who is a (generally) lovely elderly woman. She is very garden-proud and not at all happy about our cat.

We have a ginger cat who is outside during the day and in at night. There are lots of other cats in the area. Our cat is digging occasionally in her flowerbeds, which I do get is frustrating for her as she loves to garden.

Her very cross suggestions: I should be watching the cat at all times he is outside so digging cannot happen (ffs sake I have a 9m old and a job) OR we should be keeping him inside and never letting him back out again OR we should be madly erecting fences everywhere to prevent him getting anywhere near her (he's a cat, he would climb and jump them).

AIBU to think if you live in a communal area with cats around, the occasional bit of digging is annoying but kind of just one of those things?

I'm admittedly hormonal and grumpy (despite being very polite to her) and this has not been a good start to the day. Any practical suggestions on either the cat or ways to make her stop banging on about it?

OP posts:

Fluffycloudland77 · 15/02/2016 12:02

I'm not mad keen on my neighbours dogs barking until 1am but I have no bad feeling towards it.

This is because I'm a grown up.

TealLove · 15/02/2016 12:07

that is deranged!

LilacSpunkMonkey · 15/02/2016 12:07

I'm also a grown up and understand that anger about dog shit on the pavements outside school needs to be directed at the irresponsible dog owners.

I don't start fantasising about ways to kill dogs anonymously online.

ceebie · 15/02/2016 12:10

I'm far from a cat lover but come on, saying you want to kill them makes you look like a cunt.

Fair point. I don't usually joke about killing animals, but you are right, it's in extremely poor taste. Really, I was just saying that not being able to allow the kids to play in the front garden like they used to, and frequently having to clean cat poo off their shoes from the back garden, has transformed me from a relatively mild-mannered person to feeling rather vengeful about cats. So my point was really that it's an issue that can really wind you up over time (as per the neighbour in the OP, although may I point out that she has never suggested violence). I also said that my method of getting rid of them was to dispatch them into space. I do promise, hand on heart, that I would never actally do this and didn't really mean it.

Sparklingbrook · 15/02/2016 12:13

Well my MN bingo card is full and I am starting on another.

If you want advice re your cat The Litter Tray topic is very calm OP. AIBU not the best place.

MNHQ

BeccaMumsnet · 15/02/2016 12:16

Hi everyone - can we tone it down please? Peace and love, as always.

LatriceRoyale · 15/02/2016 12:17

I hate cat poo. My childhood friend went blind after catching toxoplasma from the neighbours cats shitting in her garden.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 15/02/2016 12:19

BINGO!

Blinded child.

I called it. Do I get a prize?

JacquesHammer · 15/02/2016 12:21

The thing is, I find cat owners fall into two categories. The "im really sorry my pet is causing you a problem, what can we do" and the "it is there RIGHT, I don't have to do anything".

I know which I prefer to deal with

MyKingdomForBrie · 15/02/2016 12:23

You can get fence toppers to keep them in your own garden, we were planning to get these but turned out we have the laziest cats in the world - though they can climb anything (curtains, window frames, wood panels..) they don't climb the fences. They prefer to sleep and mostly stay inside!

I do think she has a right to ask you to keep them out though, just because it seems to be a fairly accepted thing that cats go wherever they choose doesn't actually mean they have a right to.

LilacSpunkMonkey · 15/02/2016 12:24

Or the third kind.

Who have never encountered ANY of this outside MN and probably the Mail.

Because it's online angst.

Bree85 · 15/02/2016 12:25

Just forgive her. She is just an old grumpy lady. They don't have anything to do so they fuss around. Just listen and say sorry. Or better win her heart. :)

ohtheholidays · 15/02/2016 12:26

If you want to keep relations between you and your neighbor good then you could buy her some cat repeller,we've bought it in the past and it worked really well.You can buy it from B and Q it doesn't cost much and you can get it in a spray or granules.

AmysTiara · 15/02/2016 12:27

Yanbu. Mumsnet can be weird about cats but dogs shitting all over the ppavement is far worse.

TitClash · 15/02/2016 12:29

Can you buy your cat a litter tray, and buy your neighbour some cat deterrents?

pinkcan · 15/02/2016 12:31

Dogs shitting all over the pavement (and parks and people's front gardens) is also thoroughly disgusting. But that doesn't make cats' behaviour ok. As far as I concerned, both sets of behaviour are really antisocial and both cause me significant inconvenience. Why would I walk to a shop 5 mins away through pavements slathered in dog shit when I could drive and not risk getting shit on my shoes? Really bad for the environment but the best choice for me unfortunately.

MiaowTheCat · 15/02/2016 12:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

limitedperiodonly · 15/02/2016 12:53

There is another kind: the one who gets an indoor rescue cat and suddenly finds the neighbours' cat, who she previously liked, glaring into the windows, shitting and spraying openly in the garden to mark his territory and yowling challenges outside the front door like a banshee at 3am.

That was me. When I asked my neighbours if they could at least keep him in at night they shrugged and said: 'But he makes such a fuss we have to let him out. What can you do? It would be cruel to keep him in. Ha ha!'

What I did was supersoak it. It was a very cold night. I'm not pleased that their uselessness caused me to hurt their cat - and being soaked to the skin must have hurt on a freezing night - but I was fed up with it and so was my cat.

AMouseLivedinaWindMill · 15/02/2016 14:01

I'm also going to offer to buy some cat deterrent pellets for her to put round her flowers if she'd like me to

I wouldn't embarrass her by offering to buy these, just go and buy a whole range of things to use.

I am afraid I used to be a cat lover, blissfullly un ware had a lovely cat growing up. Now I have had to endure all my plant pots being filled to the brim with SHIT.....by feckless neighbours cats..I too am a cat hater.

I would be mortified if my dog went and crapped on other peoples lawns...and affected their day to day living, mortified and I would offer to clean it all up. Yet its ok with cat crap?

I hate them. sorry.

OldFarticus · 15/02/2016 14:25

How often do foxes, hedgehogs and dogs jump over 6-foot fences compared to cats? I've never seen the first three in my garden.

Well in the case of foxes, if you get yourself a few hens you will find out that foxes can pretty much bloody jump or dig under anything.

Alfieisnoisy · 15/02/2016 14:28

Foxes clear our six foot fence pretty well when chased by bastard cat from hell #1 who lives in our house. She is VERY territorial and they run from her.

OldFarticus · 15/02/2016 14:30

That's hilarious Alfie - my DM has the opposite problem as Mr Fox chased her complete wuss of a cat right into her bedroom.

ceebie · 15/02/2016 14:40

Oh no OldFarticus
I worry about finding such a scene one day. Or worse, the children making such a gruesome discovery. My hens are in a fairly fox-resistent (I hope!) smaller run while I'm at work, but I let them out into a larger run when I'm in. I'm under no illusion that I'm keeping a close enough eye on them to protect them from a fox though - I just desperately hope they'll be ok! A year so far and no horrible incidents yet.

On the plus side, the cats stopped visiting our garden for a good while when the hens arrived! (sadly this did not last).

thebiscuitindustry · 15/02/2016 14:43

Do cats not like hens?

Samcro · 15/02/2016 15:16

i like cats.....but I don't like them in my garden as we feed the birds.
so glad our neighbours moved as we got rid of the cats (they shat in my car port and sat on the car) and the poor dog that was never walked just shut out in the garden for hours whining and barking.
so yabu

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