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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to leave my baby in the garden to sleep?

676 replies

SashaFierce99 · 14/02/2016 23:44

With three older siblings, it's difficult for baby to nap uninterrupted at the weekend/in holidays. She's just over a year old so still needs at least one long or two short naps per day. When her siblings are off we tend to walk/scoot/skate/bike to the park before her nap and she falls asleep in the pushchair on the way home. I then leave her in the front garden in front of the kitchen window and DCs and I paint/bake/draw in the kitchen so she's in sight at all times.

Today we did the above but there was a knock at the door ten minutes after we arrived home. It was a neighbour advising me that it's too cold and too dangerous to leave her unsupervised outside. I explained that I can see her and she's well wrapped up (full body vest, outfit on top plus jumper, double socks and full snow suit and hat) so she's fine but the neighbour kept saying I should take her inside. I politely declined and said I needed to get back to the other DC. She muttered about how I'll end up 'getting reported to someone'...!

AIBU to leave her outside?

OP posts:
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8
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/02/2016 17:02

Does anyone not think it would be beneficial to teach the older children to respect their sibling while its sleeping?

My first baby slept outside because it was ok to do so.

It's not a problem when common sense is applied.

Salmotrutta · 15/02/2016 17:03

Did they MrsDeVere?

Shock
Salmotrutta · 15/02/2016 17:07

Just read the link - I do think the husband should have realised that NY might have a different take than Copenhagen!

HandsoffGary · 15/02/2016 17:08

I couldn't leave my baby outside on its own in a pram whilst I stayed in the house.

HandsoffGary · 15/02/2016 17:10

Read the link, the baby was crying, they were offered a bigger table/space for the pushchair and still wanted to leave it outside, in NYC....

Salmotrutta · 15/02/2016 17:13

I left my babies outside on their own every day, in the garden where I could see them from the window.

And I was inside HandsoffGary.

I see no problem with that.

5madthings · 15/02/2016 17:16

Pmsl at teaching older siblings to respect their sleeping baby sibling. Fwiw I don't do the be quiet baby is asleep as I think it's better for baby to learn to sleep with a bit of background noise anyway. But in a house with a few kids it's never going to be quiet anyway.

For me it's because bringing them in woke them up, pretty much without fail, I have a step up into my front door so even carefully bumping pram up risked waking them even if the temperature change etc did not. They just slept better outside, fresh air is good for them, we live in a quiet cul De sac so not loads of passing traffic etc. Basically it's easy to park them in pram by front door or under kitchen or living room Window so baby can sleep and I can watch/get stuff done.

Funny this just reminded me, the madthings were talking about when Dc6 arrives (due easter) and ds1 remembered pushing dc5 around in the front garden to get her to sleep when she needed a nap. she is five now so it's been a while since we had a baby around, the madthings then started arguing about who would get to push the pram for this baby, I am sure there will be occasions when I am busy, needing to cook or do something with one of the others and they will be able to get a turn at pushing baby around the front garden so it goes to sleep and many more times when I get back from school run etc and they have fallen asleep that I then leave them in the front garden whilst I do stuff in kitchen etc. If I thought there was a risk or I lived right on a busy road etc then I would have to do something else but our set up house, location etc mean it's fine.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/02/2016 17:17

Salmo there's those of us that have done this and say it's great and those who wouldn't and think it's a daft idea.

I don't think they'll ever come over to the dark side! Grin.

Salmotrutta · 15/02/2016 17:20

I know StillStaying - the nay-Sayers are wrong though Wink

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/02/2016 17:23

Of course they're wrong, is it an age thing?

5madthings · 15/02/2016 17:30

Re the link to the case in the states, they have all sorts of different ideas with regards to parenting, but I don't see the baby crying as being an issue of itself. I never left mine to cry but plenty of people do controlled crying or cio to get their babies to sleep. Maybe the couple knew their child would cry for a few mins then fall asleep some babies do thst. So even a baby crying in a pram outside could be being watched by parent inside to see if they will settle in a few mins. And as I said plenty do controlled crying or cio leaving baby to cry in cot on its own. I wouldn't leave mine to cry as I am a soft touch and it always just felt wrong but plenty do.

My gran always tells me how her health visitor told her to put baby in its pram in the garden and leave it to sleep.

TheMrsD · 15/02/2016 17:34

Flippin heck no wonder social workers have so much work to do if they would seriously see this as an issue. Bollocks.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 15/02/2016 17:39

Bertrand since you ask, I think the accusations of laziness and neglect that tou mention are equally abhorrent. I'm in the fence about the opinions. Never mentioned any specific arguments that I didn't like, but you seem to have taken it as being directed at you.

Obs it is not the difference of opinion that I think is horrible, I'm a well-educated human being and perfectly capable of having a sensible debate, without it descending into playground bitchiness. it's the vileness of the people openly laughing at and making jokes about someone else's thoughts that I think is wrong. I hope none of you behave like that when you disagree with someone face to face.

And no, I'm not new to MN, but it never fails to amaze me how much of a bitch-fest it can be. I should grow a thinker skin, should I? Or maybe some people should remember their manners.

Babymamamama · 15/02/2016 18:04

I'm quite flattered to be named as the most over dramatic on this thread. I've had a good think about it and can acknowledge that for many this is a good option and something they choose to do. However I think it's a lot to do with feeling safe and sure about your environment. Perhaps if some of the pro camp came to my part of inner city and saw the number of rats, tame ish foxes jumping over fences, tearing though people's bins etc etc they might wish they were back in their tranquil surroundings where the baby could sleep peacefully in the garden. To those who have mocked me, it doesn't bother me. I can respect your choice but it wouldn't be mine based on my experiences.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/02/2016 18:08

I haven't mocked and each to their own Baby.

It is common sense.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 15/02/2016 18:09

*To do what's right for their baby.

kathryng90 · 15/02/2016 18:28

As a baby (OK 48 years ago!) and weighing just 5 pound I was put outside to sleep. Midwife visited and mum went to get me and had to scrape several inches off the top of the pram! I survived. My children all slept outside in all weathers. Secure garden and seen from the window. Will put my grandchildren outside too! Each to their own. My partner is a social worker and is laughing her socks off at the thought of visiting someone who does this!

kathryng90 · 15/02/2016 18:32

Several inches of snow!!

ABetaDad1 · 15/02/2016 18:46

They have wolves and arctic temperatures in Scandinavia.

I'm sure that a baby is fine outside on a sunny spring day in suburban England.

ScrimshawTheSecond · 15/02/2016 18:50

Yes, this is why social workers are given a wide berth. Are parents supposed to sit staring at a baby until it wakes up? Utterly ridiculous.

BrianCoxReborn · 15/02/2016 19:01

This thread is brilliant.

Am properly laughing at

  1. the goadiest member of Mumsnet pulling up somebody else for being goady

  2. wombles

ShowMeTheWonder

A local Ofsted outstanding childminding service has the babies nap outside for two hours every afternoon and apparently they sleep very well. Only rarely does a baby get eaten by the neighbourhood cats

Skiptonlass · 15/02/2016 19:04

Yes we have wolves, and moose (saw one out with the pram this week in fact) someone in our village saw a lynx last year. It's been -26 here this winter. Today was a balmy -9.

Everyone still leaves babies outdoors. felicity there is considerable research showing that done properly, an hour or two a day outside reduces the transmission of infections in day cares here. We aren't talking about hours and hours, it's under set conditions, much better wrapped up than most people in the uk would ever have a baby (my åkpåse / pram bag is stuffed with down and wool and the pram itself is insulated. A fur or sheepskin as well on cold days.)

You don't leave the baby underdressed in the snow ... You put them well wrapped up in layers of wool, down or even fur, in an insulated pram that's frankly, a little bed on wheels. You should see Swedish prams. they're sturdy, let's put it that way.

Then you put it just outside the patio doors, or on your balcony. You put a net over them (we all have nets here because the mozzies are a tad persistent in summer.)

You don't do it if it's windy past a point.
You don't do it if there's driving snow
You don't do it if it's that damp fog.
You don't do it if the child is sick.
You keep a very close eye on them. As in, baby outside, me inside sitting with a cuppa watching.

Mini skip sleeps really well outside. In his snuggly åkpåse he is perfectly warm and toasty. I worry more when we are out moving on cold days (I check exposed skin every five minutes, a few friends children got frostbite this year.)

ScrimshawTheSecond · 15/02/2016 19:10

Wolves? Moose?! In Skipton?!!

Skiptonlass · 15/02/2016 19:18

It's grim up north, aye.

Hehe. No I live in Sweden now. Tad colder. 😁

Natsku · 15/02/2016 19:23

Moose in Skipton Grin

I actually don't think I've seen a moose (except in my freezer) since I was a child, just tracks in the snow. They tend to keep away from people as people like to shoot them (so they can be put in my freezer)