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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How do I report a paedophile on POF

72 replies

Difficult1 · 14/02/2016 23:43

I have been told by someone that the person who sexually abused me as a child is now registered on POF. I have seen his profile and it's definitely him. Can I realistically do anything to report him and get his profile removed? I just feel sick to think that he could be contacting women who may have children or grandchildren (he's looking for women in their 50s). Or even the fact that he is meeting unsuspecting women sickens me.

I have already reported him to the police (several years ago) and whilst unfortunately it did not go to court, he does now have a police record.

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/02/2016 23:45

I would tell the police. And also POF.

Shutthatdoor · 14/02/2016 23:48

and whilst unfortunately it did not go to court, he does now have a police record.

How can he have a record if it didn't go to court?

Original poster
Difficult1 · 14/02/2016 23:50

Because the allegations are on his police record!

OP posts:
DontCareHowIWantItNow · 14/02/2016 23:50

Not sure what the police would do though if he hasn't been convicted of anything?

TooOldForGlitter · 14/02/2016 23:50

I'd have thought because he was convicted for something but not for the offence committed against the OP.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 14/02/2016 23:51

How does he have a record if charges weren't brought against him? In any case, I doubt POF will do anything, unless there is evidence of charges or wrongdoing. I font really know where you go from here. Sorry.

Bubblesinthesummer · 14/02/2016 23:53

How does he have a record if charges weren't brought against him? In any case, I doubt POF will do anything, unless there is evidence of charges or wrongdoing. I font really know where you go from here. Sorry

I'm sorry OP I agree with ^

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 14/02/2016 23:54

Yes..picking at the OP is really the main thing here. Hmm

Original poster
Difficult1 · 14/02/2016 23:54

I was told by the police that the allegations would remain on his file and that if anyone else came forward with similar allegations then the case could be re-opened.

This is my dilemma - he wasn't actually convicted of anything, which is why I'm wondering if I can do anything?

OP posts:
Shutthatdoor · 14/02/2016 23:55

Yes..picking at the OP is really the main thing here. hmm

Nbody is 'picking'. Posters are trying to understand and so advise. There is a difference.

SquidgeyMidgey · 14/02/2016 23:56

You can certainly try. What's POF please?

Original poster
Difficult1 · 14/02/2016 23:56

Thank you Fanjo, I just want some advice. This has hit me very hard Sad

OP posts:
Shutthatdoor · 14/02/2016 23:57

POF = Plenty of Fish.

An online dating agency.

UmbongoUnchained · 14/02/2016 23:57

My ex has a record for DV even though he was never charged. They have to keep a record just in case it happens again and they can use that as evidence. Also I think if you are concerned about someone you can phone the police under some law and ask about their record. Think it was Sarah's law or something.

SquidgeyMidgey · 14/02/2016 23:58

Thank you!

corlette · 14/02/2016 23:58

My first port of call would be back to the police to ask their advice.

A very big bunch of Flowers for you OP. This must opening up a can of worms for you.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 14/02/2016 23:59

You can't do anything. He has no criminal conviction and he is using an adult dating site. The website won't do anything, nor will the police. Put it out your head. That's the best advice I have.

SquidgeyMidgey · 14/02/2016 23:59

Difficult1 have you got someone there to support you?

Shutthatdoor · 14/02/2016 23:59

This is my dilemma - he wasn't actually convicted of anything, which is why I'm wondering if I can do anything?

Maybe ring 101 and see what they say. Without a conviction though I'm not sure of they can do much.

Finola1step · 14/02/2016 23:59

Before you do anything, why not talk it through with the NSPCC? Give them a call and ask their advice. You are absolutely right to be concerned and upset.

Original poster
Difficult1 · 15/02/2016 00:01

Umbongo Yes I've heard of Sarah's Law, but he will come across as Mr Nice Guy who loves animals etc. and I don't think he will raise any suspicions until it's too late. He's a nasty bastard.

OP posts:
MyKingdomForBrie · 15/02/2016 00:02

You certainly can't ring up and find out allegations about somebody.

Unfortunately OP I don't think POF will help you, I'm not sure what you can do apart from blocking him so that you don't have to see him/be reminded even more of him. Have you had any counselling or support? Flowers

Doesn't mean you shouldn't try and tell POF but anyone could say anything about anyone else, without proof it wouldn't really be reasonable for them to act on it Sad

Finola1step · 15/02/2016 00:03

Oh and don't feel like you "can't" do something. You might not be able to force POF to remove his profile. But you have every right to walk into your nearest police station and ask for advice. To report it even. You do not have to remain silent. Only if you wish to.

liinyo · 15/02/2016 00:03

Sorry, I Know this isn't helpful to the OP but what is POF?

Slutbucket · 15/02/2016 00:03

For everyone above he might have had a caution and that will be on his record. OP I'm sorry this happening to you. Why don't you ring CEOP for advice they are the specialist in this area. So sorry this happened to you. Flowers