To get a sleep consultant?

[cheerfullysleepless]

Do they help? Is 3.5 months too young? I know it's meant to be hard but honestly last few nights not slept more than couple hours and not more than hour at a time in longer than can remember and got so much conflicting advice in head am sure am making it worse and confusing poor ds who just seems ever more fraught overtired and unhappy! Think could manage my sleeplessness if he didn't seem so desperate. Any suggestions on who is good or what we should look at paying?

That is very young but if you need help ask for it.

Why not talk here, how does a 'normal' night work for you?

Posted on the sleep thread - going bit wide and desperate! Basically THINK combo of itchy skin and wind wake him up as often not hungry but waking every 1-2 hrs at night, big scream before going down and now really struggling to sleep in day and becoming v unhappy. Was previously doing 5 or 6 hr stretches ok and cheerful smiley little thing most of the time - now just mega stressed and seems to make it harder for him to relax and sleep. Cycle from hell!

Oh dear. That sounds hard. If you could soothe his skin maybe that would help a bit. When our eldest son was young he had sore skin on his face and would scratch it making it worse. We bought scratch sleeves (www.scratchsleeves.co.uk) which helped with that and actually he liked sucking them too and that helped him sleep as well (although not what they're for!)

To be honest I think most sleep consultants will offer some variant on dummy, swaddling (for young enough babies) and controlled crying (for old enough babies). I doubt they'll have some magic technique you haven't heard of before but they might help you be consistent in implementing what you decide.

I feel for you. It does sound like you are very sleep deprived.

I went on a training course yesterday run by the children's sleep charity. They only work with over 1s but don't see why you couldn't adapt the routine to younger ones. It's basically a very structured bedtime routine - beginning an hour before bed. Turn off all technology in the house. Do a calming down activity - hand eye coordination is good. Perhaps a shape sorter? Give a snack & drink (so I guess substitute bedtime feed). Upstairs for bath/wash & pjs. Into bed. Story. Kiss and say "sleep time now, see you I the morning". Useful to know that sleeping conditions at bedtime need to be replicated at each night time wake to enable a quick resettle - so keep it as simple as possible. If dc fall asleep with mun/dummy/light on etc they'll need this again when they wake.

We also had scratch sleeves for ds1 who has terrible eczema as a young baby (he would scratch his face and it would bleed so much he would stick to the sheets etc - it was heartbreaking). They were amazing. Saw a paediatric dermatologist and we got it under control with combo of aveeno cream and some fairly strong steroids (weaning down to weaker creams). He was such a happier baby when it was sorted. Also Oilatum in his bath (or an oatmeal bath - fill the foot of a pair of tights with oats and hold it under the tap as the bath runs - the water looks a bit milky and is very soothing). We also used Piriton to soothe the itch at night - as prescribed by the dr. I think making his skin comfortable is first step. I have eczema myself and it is so hard to sleeping you are itching. Good luck :)

Thanks so
Much everyone!!! Doing routine, aveeno and oilatum and def helping but not heard of scratch sleeves so will def try them! Managing scratch through the mittens on baby gro at moment!!! Gp did also advise piriton but pharmacists wouldn't let him have it without prescription so may go back for that - good to hear it helped! Really helpful tips everyone thank you. Dh just back from walk with him so I could have nap and he did sleep - although they were in pub whole time apparently?!

I feel your pain. I just went through the same thing with my now 5 month old. 4 weeks of not sleeping any more than an hour and only on me. I was at my wits end and contacted a sleep consultant. She couldn't speak to us for 10 days and I was at breaking point so I got tough myself.

1. he also has eczema and was really itchy, so sad to see them so uncomfortable. I finally found a doctor who was super helpful and gave me a variety of heavy creams/ointments, steroid cream and piriton for when the itching was really bad. I literally smother him with cream at every nappy change.

2. I took the opportunity when I was giving him piriton to do some gentle sleep training, as the piriton made him drowsy and so thought it wouldn't be as traumatic, so we

3. ditched the dummy. He used to be ok when it fell out and suddenly was waking up every single time, so it had to go!

4. let him sleep on his belly. Now I know that's controversial and I'm not advocating it but i was at breaking point. I got an angel care monito to make me feel better, he can now flip over (and does as soon as he's put on his back) so it is less stressful now.

5. let him cry just a little, I stayed in the room and rubbed his back the first few nights and then I realised that it wasn't reLly a cry it was a going to sleep whinge and sounded really different, I'm now more comfortable leaving him.

We only gave him piriton for 3 nights because we cleared the eczema up but he cried for about 15 minutes the first night, 10 the next and 5 the next.

He still wakes up a few times a night for feeding but goes back to sleep pretty easily with a little whinge. He also has started to have naps in his cot for the first time ever (and sadly won't sleep on me any more, and I miss it!). I feel like a different person.

I think the benefit of a sleep consultant is that although they don't tell you anything you don't already know, they give you a very clear plan for you and your partner to stick to and help you see through the sleep-deprived fog. So if you don't feel like you can do it yourself I think it's a great idea. I'd definitely do it if my sons sleeping goes screwy again. My daughter didn't sleep through the night till 2 and I can't cope with that again!

Thanks so much for this - who did you use? Think we will go ahead too xxx

I really do understand how difficult it is but 3.5 months is very young. Also at that age they often go through a sleep regression. I would try introducing a routine I.e. bath, dim lights in bedroom, bottle/bf, cuddle then bed. If still sleeping badly at 6 months I would then consider a sleep consultant.

What are daytime naps like? In my experience my boys slept better at night if they'd had good daytime naps.

You can buy piriton liquid over the counter....

We didn't use her in the end because I just did it on my own but we're planning to use Nicola Watson at child sleep solutions as she was recommended by a lot of local mums. She uses lots of different techniques and said there could be a no cry solution if I wanted. I ended up being tougher than I thought and letting him cry just a little.

Thanks all -doing the routine and trying naps but won't go down for long! Couldn't get the piriton as chemist knew who was for and their objecting put me off but could def go to another one if this keeps up and think will do - thanks everyone! Xxx

im a nanny/night nanny/maternity nurse and to get a baby to sleep through the night you need a good daytime routine with regular feeds and sleeps

feeds need to be full feeds and not 1/2 hrs so snacking and always hungry

an overtired baby will sleep badly, hence why sort the daytime out and nights get better

def get help if you want/need/can afford it

costs vary but around £15ph for singles and i do 9-7 usually

what area are you in and see if i can recommend someone/agency for your area

I've just been to the dentist with my 6 year old. the enamel on her adult teeth hasn't formed properly. she will need teeth removed and lots of treatment on her teeth as she grows up. the dentist says that normally this happens when a child is ill between the ages of 0 - 1 years and normal development is affected especially in teeth. my daughter was never ill. she was however a terrible sleeper. waking up 9/12 times a night. it was terrible. she suffered, we suffered and now it's had a long term effect on her development.

mumsnet is generally anti sleep training especially in such young children as sleep training can have an effect on a child's attachment to it's main carer. that's true, it can. but then sleep deprivation can also have an effect on the care that adults can provide for children and the child's short and long term development.

it does sound like your baby is waking more than normal. if you can afford someone to help you with getting your child into a good sleep pattern then I say go for it. you may just be saving your child from long term problems with their teeth. I wish I had done more sleep training earlier with my daughter. it might have meant she didn't have the problems that she has now.

I wish you luck. sleep deprivation is terrible

Piriton packaging says not for under 2's but we were suggested by hospital dr 1ml at night when DS was a 4 month old so that would probably be similar to your situation.

Thanks so much everyone! We are in north London if there's anyone you'd recommend blondes and sorry about little teeth ineedtimeoff and thanks for dose advice cakes xxxxx

Dermasilk babygrows and leggings.
Your gp can prescribe them, but a lot refuse.

You can buy them on ebay. We pay over £80 for pjs for DS though.