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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to play along with elf on the shelf?

35 replies

missymayhemsmum · 10/02/2016 21:38

DD (9) ordered this creepy elf thing with her pocket money. Apparently her friend has one which ? mustn't be touched but which moves around the house and writes letters telling her to behave well or else. I made it clear that I didn't want to play this kind of game- yes I want her to do homework, put her clothes away etc, but not by forging manipulative notes from this rather nasty ornament. Cue floods of tears, she's left out, I'm a horrible mother who spoils everything etc.
AIBU and if so what are you supposed to do with the blasted thing?

OP posts:
PinotAndPlaydough · 10/02/2016 21:41

Aren't they just for Christmas? Maybe instead of using it to tell her what she should be doing you could use it for nice things such as a little note wishing her a good day at school or leaving out a little treat when she's been really good, she could get it to do the same for you too.

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 10/02/2016 21:42

It's a weirdy Xmas thing that some people latch onto

More for the parents benefit than any child's i suspect! At 9 I'm guessing the older siblings are putting it to use

RedSoloCup · 10/02/2016 21:43

I think it's for Christmas / advent only and for little ones (ie pre-schoolers)?

MooPointCowsOpinion · 10/02/2016 21:44

I bloody hate that little snitch. But if she wants to play can she set him up for you to discover? She'll get bored after a few nights of it I bet, and you'll not have crushed her dreams Wink

Palomb · 10/02/2016 21:45

Elfs are annoying in October, November and December.

Aren't they in hibernation at the moment?

LordBrightside · 10/02/2016 21:46

I love Christmas but this Elf on a Shelf thing seems like a load of weird rubbish to me.

Wont be doing it, ever.

Eigg · 10/02/2016 21:51

They are meant to arrive on December 1st and spy on your children in a creepy fashion while the parents hilariously put the elf in a series of unoriginal poses for the benefit of their children Facebook. On the 24the the elf goes back to Santa to report on the child's behaviour.

My then 6 yos looked at me incredulously when I explained that it would be polite to play along with their friend's mum when we visited and that it wasn't good manners to point out the various holes in the concept.

Can you tell I hate them?

Your DD bought it so she can play with it, I'm not sure why you gave to participate so unseasonably?

originalmavis · 10/02/2016 21:53

Santa's snitch? We have fun with him - at Christmas.

He's been in the blender, head down waste disposal unit, in the microwave... I think the bunny suicides book is a contributing factor.

ScarletForYa · 10/02/2016 21:54

It's a Christmas thing.

FlatOnTheHill · 10/02/2016 23:28

Eigg
Glad you have explained this. Wondered what it was all about at xmas time.

ZiggyFartdust · 10/02/2016 23:31

You're supposed to hide the little fucker away until next december. The clue is in the word ELF.....

GloGirl · 10/02/2016 23:34

Yabu, it sounds like she wants a bit if fun and frivolity at Christmas time. Would it hurt to make a bit more effort? (Apologies if disability/time etc mean yes - I don't mean it as confrontational as it sounds)

GloGirl · 10/02/2016 23:35

But only for December

Eigg · 10/02/2016 23:35

Flat Grin I am aware that I am a bit unreasonable about the Elf on the Shelf.

I just fine it quite weird.

KimmySchmidtsSmile · 10/02/2016 23:51

Blimey, your DD's friend's mum is rather committed bat shit crazy if she uses Elf all year round. That said, I did mention Santa starts his new list this week when kids were playing up. Earliest mention ever, MaryZ block your ears Grin I have subsequently moved onto the Easter bunny. He won't bring eggs to little sods. Lazy parenting 101 bribery with chocolate.
I do have a girl elf Elfina and her helper mini elf on my shelf but not the expensive ones. They are sitting there as I have not put my Xmas decorations box in the loft yet. But mine do not do letters or tricks. They just sit and stare. Disconcertingly.

teeththief · 10/02/2016 23:51

It sounds like she's jealous of her friend having this fun with her parents and assumed you'd want to do the same?

UnderCrackers5 · 10/02/2016 23:58

take up smoking

Sofiria · 11/02/2016 08:35

YANBU, the whole Elf concept strikes me as incredibly creepy and Panopticon-ish. I'm with Eigg I don't see the fun in it for younger kids. Assuming since your DD bought the elf she's not seeing it as 'real' in any way, but you're definitely not obliged to go along with it. Creepy if the kid believes the elf is watching them, pointless if they don't.

Muskateersmummy · 11/02/2016 08:41

It's a Christmas thing. I find the original elf on the shelf a bit creepy and don't like that he can't be touched. So my dd has a soft cuddly version. She loves him, all he does it do something fun each evening, which she finds in the morning. He went back to the North Pole into the cupboard on Christmas Day. Bit odd to have him in February ?

acasualobserver · 11/02/2016 08:48

Surely this could work to your advantage? The elf probably appreciates a really clean oven and weed-free garden. His choice of TV viewing probably coincides with yours. Sometimes all he wants is a very long lie-in.

pilates · 11/02/2016 08:51

YANBU

tigermoll · 11/02/2016 08:54

It sounds like she's jealous of her friend having this fun with her parents and assumed you'd want to do the same?

I agree with this.

It seems odd that at 9 (bit too old to really 'believe' in this stuff) she has bought the elf herself and asked you to play. It sounds like she really wants to do some imaginative play-type stuff with her parents. At the risk of making you feel guilty, maybe she needs a bit more of your attention.

Can you think of anything in her life that might have triggered this slight regression to a more babyish phase/need for comfort? Is she OK at school, and do you guys have fun together?

mumeeee · 11/02/2016 08:58

YANBU. I thought the Elves were just a Christmas thing. I didn't even know you could buy them at this time of year.
Where did she get it from?

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 11/02/2016 09:02

I hate them and think they are stupid but I'm a middle aged woman! If my dd had her heart set on doing the elf thing I would suck it up. It's a bit of fun to them.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 11/02/2016 09:03

And yes, make it do nice or funny things instead of the behavior stuff.

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