About new boyfriend's looks

[dandydesmond]

New boyfriend has an amazing body. Really amazing. He is also an extremely nice man. However, face-wise, I am just not sure I fancy him. I am going out with him because he is a lovely person and treats me really well, and I wouldn't want to hurt him or really to stop seeing him right now. However, I am struggling to get round the fact that I just don't think he is attractive in the face department.

Perhaps I am just shallow, but I have always thought you need to have sexual attraction to someone you are thinking about spending the rest of your life with. In this case, I have a lot of attraction to his body and his mind, but I am worried I will end up getting to the point of not fancying him at all and hurting him if I carry on ignoring the fact that I don't really fancy his face.

What do you think?

Blue blue, me too, grim eh.

I dunno how you sleep with someone you don't find attractive in the face department but hey.

Deep as a puddle me I couldn't date anyone I wasn't attracted to either. Release him back into the pond.

If facial good looks are vital for you, then they are, there's no getting round this, in much the same way that some men prefer women with large/small breasts.

Just make sure that when you find "the one", that you never fall short of whatever ideal of perfection you represent to them, that might fade over time.

Deep as a puddle.

Something to be said for that.

However, I didn't fancy DH at all for the first 6 months I met him. I'd rather have shagged Kermit. However, for the last 25 years, he's been the one.

Not fancying someone at first, doesn't mean you won't fancy them ever. Depends on the personality.

Some puddles can take you by surprise.

(It didnt help that he turned up for our first date in jeans that were too short and a t-shirt he'd got free by saving the vouchers from boxes of tea bags grin).

Priceless!

I also think it depends how you meet. If on a dating site then you don't "know" them IYSWIM.

If at work or through friends, it's different and you get to know the personality as well as looks and it can surpass this.

Hmm, I think for some, attraction can grow. I am probably too shallow (by MN standards) as I have only had relationships with men I found good looking.

I am reminded of my first love. We dated for 5 years between 18 and 23 and he was simply gorgeous. All my friends fancied him.

I saw him at a party a few years ago. To say the years have been unkind to him would be an understatement. Bald, fat & jowly with a nose that has grown exponentially over the years - he is now plain ugly.

The good looking ones don't always stay that way!

Just dont look at his face or ask him to wear a mask of someones face you do fancy