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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Shop browsing etiquette

29 replies

bornwithaplasticspoon · 09/02/2016 15:54

Aibu to think..

If you're in a clothing shop with open railing, such as TKmaxx, there's an etiquette to browsing. For example, if someone is looking along a rail that you want to look at, you go in front or fall behind them going along the rail in the same direction - keeping a nice distance. You don't come along the rail towards them causing an awkward clash

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Callthemodwife · 09/02/2016 15:59

I think you can go down the rail towards them but if they were there first it's polite to step back as you 'cross over' and allow them to go first IYSWIM. But definitely don't get into someone's personal space!

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 09/02/2016 16:04

I once witnessed a punch-up in Blockbusters because one bloke reached in front of another bloke to get a DVD.

Original poster

bornwithaplasticspoon · 09/02/2016 16:11

The woman came towards me and got so close we were bashed handbags. I felt uncomfortable so moved around her even though I was there first. The sheer gall!

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Original poster

bornwithaplasticspoon · 09/02/2016 16:11

Aw blockbusters! Remember the £1 rewind fee?

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MangoBiscuit · 09/02/2016 16:18

When someone does this to me, when they get close, I suddenly develop an intense interest in the item right in front of me. They can either wait until I'm no longer engrossed, and hope I'll move, or they can walk around me. I do try to make sure I leave sufficient room though.

GarlicBake · 09/02/2016 16:25

Oh dear, I usually take it as opportunity for a few friendly words about the merchandise.

You all hate me, don't you?

OnlyLovers · 09/02/2016 16:27

This is hard to avoid in TK Maxx specifically, IMO, because the clothes are arranged in size order but, because there's such a lot of different labels, you can find yourself being a 6 in one and a 10–12 in another, and all points in between.

The rails are also pretty packed and you need to look carefully to find the good stuff among the tat.

The only way to navigate is by picking a size section about two sizes above or below your usual and working methodically down the rail. If someone has started at the other end and is working methodically UP the rail, you will unavoidably clash at some point. One of you will just have to give way and stare fixedly at where you were on the rail as you swap sides, so you don't lose your place and miss that one perfect jumper among the acrylic shite.

It's TK Maxx chicken.

NorbertDentressangle · 09/02/2016 16:31

I've come to the conclusion that some people live in their own little world and don't bother with what is socially acceptable or polite eg. the people who stand right in front of you in the 3-4 ft gap between you and the shelf of goods you are clearly browsing.

You can also add to the list the woman who moved my friends coat (friend had gone to the loo) and plonked herself down in the seat at our table in Neros this morning despite there being lots of other tables available albeit without comfy seats

OzzieFem · 09/02/2016 16:34

Reminds me of a time I was in a public library about a foot distance from the shelves looking at some books. This secondary school girl and two friends came in, and she moved between me and the shelves so I had her back right in front of me.

I tapped her on the shoulder and when she turned to look at me, I told her that I believed her parents had taught her better manners than just to barge in front of people without saying "Excuse me". The trio took off rather rapidly without saying a word.

I'm not sure if she thought I was a friend of her parents.

OnlyLovers · 09/02/2016 16:38

Norbert, what happened?

Original poster

bornwithaplasticspoon · 09/02/2016 16:39

On the subject of moving stuff, the pool dd has her lessons at is always packed and it's hard to find a changing cubicle. I recently witnessed a row between two women because one had left her stuff in a cubicle while she went to the shower and as she came back another woman was dumping her stuff on the floor. It got really heated and I had to cover dd's ears. I don't think I could ever touch someone else's stuff even if they're hogging a space (weakling).

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Original poster

bornwithaplasticspoon · 09/02/2016 16:41

Lol at TKmaxx chicken

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ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 09/02/2016 16:48

I'm always surprised that people don't use 'excuse me', 'sorry' or laugh it off with a statement like 'it's busy in here today isn't it?' and then let you pass.

There is a certain type of character you find in TKmax that want what you have. If you pick something out and start admiring it, holding it against yourself for size and checking the tags, you bring attention to the garment and you run the risk of another shopper spotting it. They will then hover near you in the hope you will discard it. This only happens to me in charity shops or TKmax because there is only one of each item.

NorbertDentressangle · 09/02/2016 16:58

OnlyLovers - before she sat down she asked if I was going and I said no I was waiting for my friend to come back but we wouldn't be long. I thought that she'd queue up with her friend for their coffees and by then we might be gone but if not there were plenty of other seats anyway but, no, she moved the coat and plonked herself down.

I was too gobsmacked to say anything . The guy sitting at the next table who had seen all this happen looked at me and we both did 'WTF' faces , as did my friend when she got back from the loo!

OnlyLovers · 09/02/2016 17:00

Did your friend shift her when she came back?

How stupid/thick-skinend ARE some people?

MeadowHay · 09/02/2016 17:59

I sort of agree with pp who said that some people are just in their own little worlds when it comes to this thing, but I don't think it's because they are oblivious to the social codes and general politeness, it's just because they are incredibly self-centred and cannot even imagine considering the situation from the point of view of anyone else but themselves. It's just a "I want, I get" type thing. If someone is in the way then they will get pushed/shoved/squished up to/whatever, and they don't care.

...yes I get irrationally angry about rude people like this. "Manners cost nothing" and all that jazz!

Original poster

bornwithaplasticspoon · 10/02/2016 06:46

Tiger is another example. You have to stand your ground or just just get pushed along!

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NorbertDentressangle · 10/02/2016 10:27

Tiger also need to put a One Way sign up for when you come in as it doesn't work if you have 2-way traffic.

...and why is it that it's always someone with a ginormous pram or double buggy that ends up going the wrong way round and causing chaos?

OohMavis · 10/02/2016 10:31

YABU, it's every man for himself in TKmaxx. You have to own your space and be prepared to engage your elbows.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 10/02/2016 10:34

Oh, god this winds me up so much!

I'm carefully browsing, considering my options and my bank balance and some woman starts bulldozing her way towards me, flicking through each item on the rack at such a speed that I've no idea if she even computes what she's looking at before moving on the the next one, then reaches me and glares in sheer bafflement that I'm (still!) there and in her way!

Fuck off, lady, go around me.

startingmylifeagain · 10/02/2016 12:01

I used to work the checkouts at a well known supermarket, and you would not BELIEVE the amount of people who would push through and plonk their bags down before the previous customer had even finished packing the last of their shopping.
It used to be a pet hate of mine.

One woman actually came and stood next to the previous customer whilst she was putting her card in the machine, barked "bags please" at me and started pulling her items through the scanner!
I said excuse me I'm still serving this lady, she looked at me like I'd said something rude and stood there twitching and tutting while I puposely went really slowly-
finished serving the first lady.
Unbelievable behaviour.

Original poster

bornwithaplasticspoon · 10/02/2016 12:06

Starting - she started scanning her own shopping?!

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MummySparkle · 10/02/2016 12:56

Oh god! I love tiger, but I hate going in there. I want to pick up everything and I always feel like I get pushed along. And if I do go in with the buggy (which I always regret after about 20seconds, but by then I'm stuck) It's just awful.

I can't stand people that hover whilst I'm being served at a till. Being 6" away from me will not get you served any quicker than being 6' away from me. As soon as it's obvious that I'm saying thanks / bye and picking up my shopping by all means walk forward. Before then BACK THE FUCK OFF!

same goes for people standing ridiculously close in a queue. I have been known to feign forgetting something and go to the back of the queue because the person behind me in a queue in primark kept shuffling forward to the point that I couldn't move forward anymore and I could feel their breath. Grr

Had somebody sit at my table in Starbucks whilst I was breastfeeding DD because 'we looked like we would be going soon'

Original poster

bornwithaplasticspoon · 10/02/2016 13:47

Oh my god, yessssss - the primark queue! Standing closer won't get you served faster!

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Sighing · 10/02/2016 14:24

Norbert "what is socially acceptable or polite eg. the people who stand right in front of you in the 3-4 ft gap between you and the shelf of goods you are clearly browsing."
OMG i hate this. It plays on my mind too. Are they trying to be so OK with my ugly / fat/ unmade up self (yes many esteem issues) that they're pretending I'm not there? Or am I actually that irrelevant / low social capital looking?
Then I realise I'm (seriously) over thinking it.

They think shops were built for their exclusive use. Really. They must actually, because wtf??!!
And today. Being 37 weeks pregnant carrying a big fuck off bag for the first time I said something. "I'll not be another minute". And the woman apologised (hurray!).

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