To plan a holiday?

[WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant]

I have family in Germany. My gran will be celebrating a significant birthday around Easter. We have all been invited to spend some time with them.

I want to drive there, ferry crossing... Drive other side. So would plan to stay for the majority of the school holiday.

No problem, very cheap holiday, visiting family.

But the ex has said 'he might want to see dcs over Easter'.

Wwyd?

Ds has said 'drive to gran. She writes to us, texts us, sends us things... She likes talking to us. She tells us jokes. Teaches us things..' (He is 12)

Dd says 'same as ds' (she is 3)

Easter is at the start of the holidays which could help with logistics.

If he is saying that he might want to spend time with them than give him a window to say yay or nay to time over that Easter weekend. Stating that you need to book to get the best travel prices. Might is a crap request, say I want to or i can't.

If he does commit to the Easter weekend, could you then start your journey on the Bank Holiday Monday, or the Tues? I'm getting the ferry over to France on the easter Monday because that gives me the Easter weekend with my husband, cheaper ferry prices plus still loads of time with my family. How many hours drive away are yours? Are we talking Alps or Aachen?

Or of course reverse and say he can have the end of the holidays if that works out better for you both.

Not sure how long, first drive.

Nearest side...

Exes idea of 'seeing them' involves taking them out for an hour, giving them a butty if they are lucky. And probably a chocolate egg.

Then returning his attention to his new GF, as he will be bored of his kids by then!

Which, as far as I am concerned could take place any weekend in march or April. Easter isn't significant for any of us. Apart from gran, as its her birthday.

In that case I would be pushing for the trip to Germany when it's most convenient for you

Just ignore him and go. He should see his kids regularly of course, but that doesn't mean they should miss out on a holiday on the off-chance he will spend a couple of hours with him. If he becomes verbally abusive, just ignore him. It will blow over. He has many years to be a dad and to continue to build a strong relationship with his kids.

just ignore him. Book the holiday. If hes not planning to give them an equivalent holiday then it would be unreasonable to not do yours on the off chance he might want to take them out for an hour

I would not be making international travel plans around an exes "might". Just say sorry we already have plans that cant be changed. You'll have to give us more notice in future.

You'll be away for 'most' of the holidays, so tell him which days you'll be at home and say he' s welcome to take them out on one of those days. Do your holiday as planned.

Just go - aside from anything else the Germans are really good at Easter!!!

Thanks all.

If I can afford it, we will be going!

The Germans are fabulous at Easter. We love to go clapperboarding with friends there.

Just tell Ex you can be back for the last weekend of the holidays so he can see the kids then.