Don't tell her kid to stop climbing the slide!

[AdriftOnMemoryBliss]

This blog popped up on FB today and i had a read, and thought it was worth discussing.

mommyshorts.com/2016/02/dont-tell-my-kid-to-stop-going-up-the-slide.html

Now, i'm coming from this as a mom who's DS is autistic and dyspraxic, so 'hovering' around him in the playground comes as par for the course because he doesn't get the social niceties and his balance isn't great.

I'm a stickler for telling him not to climb the slide, i don't mind if he's got it to himself, but the moment another child wants to play, i will stop him.

Reading through the comments on the blog, there are a lot of parents who not only advocate allowing the kids to climb, but also for other parents to leave their children alone to sort it out for themselves without the parents stepping in, if i didn't do that, DS is likely to have meltdown or try to hit/push one of the other children.

So.. what side are you on? Do you let them climb the slide and sort it out for themselves if other children object? Or are you on the side of stepping in and dealing with it by stopping it? Do you stop other peoples children?

Either way, that's irrelevant.

If there was a slide climber who absolutely refused to move then i'd tell my dc to go and play on something else instead. I wouldn't tell them to go down anyway, which is the only point I was making. There's nothing that would convince me that that was a safe, reasonable or adult way to deal with the situation.

I've met two children that haven't responded to either the advice, disapproval or 'death stare'.

One was actually almost intimidating and I'm no wall flower! I couldn't see the parents so just assumed there may be an invisible difficulty and lifted dd off the slide.

There are some real bullies around who use this to intimidate younger children on slides though. I can certainly understand the temptation to just let them go down anyway in that case.

Some parents just assume their child will behave like an angel when they aren't watching them and from experience some of those parents are wrong!

There are plenty of "free range" children often found climbing up slides! who are simply so used to doing things their own way and never being told why they shouldn't, that being advised to stop doing something by a total stranger is very badly received.
No death stare is strong enough to combat years of being the centre of the universe with no regard for anyone else.

If there are no other children trying to go down the slide they can go up all they want.

But it's not their slide. So when other kids are there everyone needs to go down or accidents will happen. It's not the slide that is the danger but the playground equivalent of 2 way traffic in a one way street. Not going to work so social norms need to be followed.

I think most people who think something like this needs to be micromanaged are parents of under 6s and the ones who think free play is essential are parents of children aged >7.

At soft play and the baby part of the playground, by all means, hover, that is why they are so open and you can see every nook and cranny from the gate.

There is a reason adventure playgrounds for older kids are impossible to oversee to this degree, no child would go otherwise because spoilsport parents clearing a path for their pfb would kill all the fun. Older primary school age to early teen children really do not want a slide police.

adrift I was just about to post about soft plays actually. I worked at one for a little while with one of those big slides attached to them- all staff were told explicitly not to allow children to climb up the slide because it was dangerous and they could get really hurt. So we'd have to go up to the children and tell them not to climb, and most of the time, the parents would just sit there blankly, providing no supervision.

However, we did get parents who would shout at us, telling us it was none of our business and that their child could climb the slide if they wanted to. What got me was the complete lack of consideration for others, and the whole idea that as a company this place was trying to 'get' their kids with loads of rules, when in reality the owners are just covering their backs to try and prevent unnecessary injuries. I think it all comes down to a lack of consideration really.

DS was coming down an enclosed slide so didn't see the child who had decided to climb up it. The noise of the clash was horrendous and ds ended up with a badly injured eye - we had to take him to a&e to check his eye socket was not fractured. The other parent just walked off with their )unhurt) child.
So i don't mind children climbing on open slides as long as they know they need to get off if someone is coming down. The problem is some children can't change behaviour to suit different contexts so blanket rules are often easier.

If it's in active use i.e. people waiting to come down I say "sorry this slide only goes one way, down, would you like to have a slide down?" That usually does the trick nicely.

When I see it it's not an issue with using correctly but turn-taking, that child that goes down, turns around and back up over and over whilst milder mannered children wait at the top. My dd is quiet ds isn't and would plow them down and hates being close to others, she wouldn't use a slide with someone doing this. On the logic of letting them sort it out she'd never use a slide whilst others did.

Or it's a case of 2 years allowed to free roam up whilst 8 yr olds plow down, I've never ever seen anyone not go ape when their 2 year old is then flattened. It's the equivalent of me regularly leaving the oven door open whilst the baby crawls around and teaching her it's hot by letting herself pull up on it!

I stop my ds climbing the slide on the basis it's dangerous. I tell him down the slide only.

I will admit to not policing him coming down it correctly if others insist on climbing up preventing him coming down. (I obviously don't encourage it and wouldn't let it do it to an errant toddler who's escaped parents!)

He has ASD too and can't navigate social niceties very well. He's been taught to say excuse me, I'm coming down the slide. Up to the person using it incorrectly whether they move or not IMO.

It amazes me often how when you are talking about a park everyone seems to think the slide isn't an issue. But if it was people going up an escalator wrong way or driving wrong way down a one way street suddenly it's an issue. It's the same principle just on different scales. Might as well teach them young.

My mum always said that you shouldn't climb the slide because it stops it being slippery.

No idea if it's true, but I never let mine climb up anyway because we are a polite family

DS once crashed into a child at the bottom of a children's water slide in Center Parcs, after I had told the parents TWICE to move their child as he was blocking the way.

Poor DS who has asd and is very anxious, was horribly upset though

it has to be a blanket rule for my ds. On your own? Climb it. Other kids? Don't.

I can't stand the attitude of "my child's right to do anything they want trumps the safety of other children".

I never allow DCs to climb up slides--regardless of whether there are other children or not. Kids who climb are tramping up the dirt from their shoes, ready for other kids to get it on their clothes. Obviously this is especially a problem in the winter. The local slide often has muddy footprints all the way up it. It's not OK at any time.

I get pissed off when my youngest (who is wary of a lot of playground equipment) can't go down the slide because it's filthy from the muddy shoes of children who simply must be allowed to climb up it.

This is the reason I've never allowed my kids to climb slides even when the playground is empty. Simple consideration for others using the slide after you've gone.

It's just really lazy parenting disguised as 'encouraging independence', isn't it?

Pffft. I'm always telling other people's kids off.

lilac, no, but i have a habit of keeping wipes in my handbag and have been known to wipe a slide down before my kids use it.

i'd never let them climb a playground slide if they had wet/muddy feet. The one in our back garden is different, but then i don't supervise that one unless DS is annoying his little sister by refusing to get off it!

my best friends older sister has a facial injury that's looks like the one most frequently known as a Chelsea smile caused by a collision as she was climbing a slide in the same incident she recieved several other serious injuries.

The lad who banged into her bust his ankles and also fell over the side splitting his head open.

I don't understand the special developmental ability that develops when you let hit child climb up the slide.

I don't understand how a child over 6 or 7 develops any ability at all with mummy standing next to them policing something so ridiculous. Is everyone watching their every waking moment? Lucky they get time away from such suffocating attention at school. Unless everybody is discussing babies and preschoolers on this thread?

Erm, no. You just say to your kid 'don't climb up the slide' and then if you see them doing it, tell them again.

It's not hard.

DS and DD love climbing the slide - however they're only allowed to do it if other DC aren't using the slide, obviously that's not on.

Tbh I feel sorry for other DC who are routinely told not to climb the slide when there are no other DC using it - it's such fun! And it helps them learn to climb.

I've never noticed muddy feet being a problem - but then we tend to go to the playpark on sunny days, not wet ones.

However this seems a little over the top to me ...

"Kids who climb are tramping up the dirt from their shoes, ready for other kids to get it on their clothes"

Kids are supposed to come home grubby from playing outside - it's the sign of a good time IMO.

I'd much rather my DC grubby and having good exercise and fun than worrying about getting their clothes dirty in the park - life is too short IMO.