Don't tell her kid to stop climbing the slide!

[AdriftOnMemoryBliss]

This blog popped up on FB today and i had a read, and thought it was worth discussing.

mommyshorts.com/2016/02/dont-tell-my-kid-to-stop-going-up-the-slide.html

Now, i'm coming from this as a mom who's DS is autistic and dyspraxic, so 'hovering' around him in the playground comes as par for the course because he doesn't get the social niceties and his balance isn't great.

I'm a stickler for telling him not to climb the slide, i don't mind if he's got it to himself, but the moment another child wants to play, i will stop him.

Reading through the comments on the blog, there are a lot of parents who not only advocate allowing the kids to climb, but also for other parents to leave their children alone to sort it out for themselves without the parents stepping in, if i didn't do that, DS is likely to have meltdown or try to hit/push one of the other children.

So.. what side are you on? Do you let them climb the slide and sort it out for themselves if other children object? Or are you on the side of stepping in and dealing with it by stopping it? Do you stop other peoples children?

Except for the Argos machine thing, simply because if I'm browsing I won't know if they're in someone's way unless the other adult is in my line of sight IYSWIM

We have a system

Our argos has 3 machines to a pod and you can easily see the two machines opposite you. The dc are allowed to play if they can see that at least one of the other machines on their pod are empty. If both of them get taken, they move away to a different pod where they can keep an easy eye on the empty one in front of them.

My dc absolutely love Argos, they'd probably choose it over a playground and would be happy to spend hours on the machines. Are my kids weird or does Argos hold the same appeal for other dc?

I've seen the consequences of a child going up the slide and being hit by a child coming down. It's not pretty. I wouldn't leave them to sort it out themselves.

No. Quite the opposite. I quoted what was said in the blog.

Well it's very simple in my mind; going down the slide after waiting patiently for ten minutes while little Cressida has a go at climbing is not quite as bad as killing someone on the road :)

I believe that the possibility of being knocked over while climbing a slide in a busy playground is just a consequence of climbing it!

I don't want my dc to purposely hurt someone but if it happens, it's not their fault. Same as if someone ran at the swing while they were swinging on it. It's a shame but not their fault!

My ds got whacked out of it by a swing summer just past because he ran right across its path, despite being told numerous times to be careful. He cried, he brushed himself off and he avoided doing it again.

It happens.

Not having too many rules is all well and good but not when that puts your child in a position where their games trumps other people using the equipment as it is intended.

Don't climb up a slide when others are wanting to use it as a slide.

Don't run around the swings when others are using them.

Wait your turn for things but don't spend too long when others are waiting.

They seem like pretty basic rules for a shared space like a park. If you have it to yourself then great climb to your hearts content but when others are around consider them too

Are my kids weird or does Argos hold the same appeal for other dc?

Mine do too! I used to love drawing pictures with the teeny pencils before these new fandangled machines.

It's the power of Argos!

I think the article completely overlooks the message that the slider gets - it's all very well to say 'If my kids gets a foot in the face then they will learn to be more aware' but what about the kid who waits patiently at the top of the slide because they don't want to put their foot in someone's face? I don't want to teach my children that if someone is doing isn't playing according tot the rules they can boot them out of the way, that causing someone physical pain is ok so long as you have 'right' on your side.

I am happy for him to climb the slide so long as it's his 'turn' on the slide (where there are few enough children to keep track of that) but if someone else has climbed the steps and waited to go down, then I expect him to realise that taking turns is still important even if you are playing differently. I am all for letting kids work things out themselves when there is a value to that, but if the resolution is 'well, he just did what he wanted and everyone had to wait because they have been told not to go down the slide when someone's on it' then that's not acceptable for any of the parties involved.

The incident I saw didn't result in someone being knocked over. It resulted in 2 children with head injuries.

I don't want my dc to purposely hurt someone but if it happens, it's not their fault. Same as if someone ran at the swing while they were swinging on it. It's a shame but not their fault!

Those are completely different situations though.

When you're swinging, if someone runs in front of you then there's nothing you can do. Of course you'd not be to blame as the one on the swing.

Going down a slide when someone is standing on it halfway up is a choice. And not a good one to encourage IMO, even though it's the other child technically in the wrong.

I've seen a slide climber be knocked off from halfway up. They hit the ground face first, their teeth came through their bottom lip, there was blood everywhere and both them and the child who'd knocked them off were incredibly distressed.

If little Cressida is faffing around on the slide and not allowing dc to go down, why don't you just go and ask her to move? Surely that's the best way to resolve it rather than encouraging your dc to plough into them?

Agree with Sirzy.
Move your child if you see others wanting to use the slide.

It's fine to let your kids climb up a slide because it's good for their development? . Isn't that what the climbing frame is for?
It's not fine to put a piece of playground equipment out of action for several other children because yours is such a free spirited free styler.
I always told them (other kids) to get down and queue at the other end.

Kids need free play, not me hovering. 4 and under I closely supervise, thereafter I am near and can be found easily (on the grass outside the playground maybe), but I do not watch them on the slide.

When I was 8 or 9,I was at the local park with friends after school. One lad climbed up a slide whilst another came down. They collided with a crunch, the lad climbing up the slide had both legs broken, whilst the other one had a broken ankle. My friend Linda had to run to her house and get her mum to phone for an ambulance. I remember it so clearly. It actually makes me feel sick when I see children climb up slides now.

Up the steps and down the slide has always been my mantra and shall remain so. Children climbing up the slide drive me mad as they do so with little regard for the queue of children standing precariously at the top waiting to go down. It's an entirely selfish thing to do. The parents of these kids always seem to be the ones sitting nattering with little regard for what their child is doing. "I let my children sort it out for themselves" is so often a euphemism for "I can't be arsed to parent my child".

Waltermittythesequel - Sirzy's post raises a good point that's worth remembering.

It's not only the slide climber that's at risk of injury. Your dc could equally be injured by sliding down into them.

Not really worth encouraging just to make a point IMO.

Oops, I meant Sunnymegs post

But I already said after minutes waiting and several requests to move.

Please don't try to make it seem like I send my children out as playground vigilantes who plough down the slide no matter what. Because I don't.

Why should children be climbing up a slide when others are trying to get down it?also it could cause accidents, i think its quite selfish really.

I let my children sort it out for themselves is not a euphemism for "I can't be arsed". It means "My children are no longer toddlers and want to have fun as well as learn social skills. Children learn best by playing, I am not hovering over my 8 year old precious."

It has worked really well, we usually go to a big adventure playground, no helicopter parents hovering (except of course in the toddler part where they should hover). They slide, climb slides, make fire, swing on ropes, do all of this safely and watch out for younger ones, too. Parental micromanagement of play is not required.

At soft play with friends, one child would not vacate the bottom of the wideslide and was throwing balls up it. We encouraged the children waiting patiently to just go down and try to avoid him.

Split lip, much crying, very worried children. So now I make mine wait and try to speak to the obstructive child.

Our local playground has an enormous slide - it's taller than a two-storey house, for reference. The steps up are in two sets with a half-landing because the full flight would be too hazardous to slip down in one go. It's huge and brilliant.

I simply do not understand people who let their children climb up that slide. The steps for climbing up are carefully fenced in with lots of handrails for children at different heights; the top has a shelter round it so you can't fall out and it doesn't get wet and slippery in the rain; the top part of the slide is also railed in so you can't jump out of the top. Climbing up it is just stupid.

I did once go pretty Trunchbull when teenagers were climbing up it leaving an increasing number of bewildered 3-5yos in the shelter and on the steps.

With the combination of personal safety and consideration for others, I maintain a strict "up the steps, down the slide" policy for my own children.

Walter you are the one that said you tell your dc to go down the slide even if someone else is coming up.

I'm not making your dc out to be anything, i'm disagreeing with you and think that you telling your dc that is silly and dangerous.

I've asked slide climbers to stop many times, and they always have. If they persist whilst my dc want to use the slide then i'll just hover and remind them again, using my death stare when appropriate. I've never met a kid hard faced enough to ignore my death stare tbh - maybe you should develop one, it works wonders. And avoids the need to encourage kids to purposely slide into others.

Maybe you ecounter different children to me.

That's also a possibility, you know. Not just that my 'hard stare' hasn't been developed enough.

the one i hate to see people climb is the big one at our soft play, its HUGE, the whole thing is inside an old hangar and this slide goes up to the roof.

There are signs all over telling people not to let their kids climb it, but they still do. I've seen a nasty mess at the bottom of that one after a young boy got taken out by 3 others coming down together.