Don't tell her kid to stop climbing the slide!

[AdriftOnMemoryBliss]

This blog popped up on FB today and i had a read, and thought it was worth discussing.

mommyshorts.com/2016/02/dont-tell-my-kid-to-stop-going-up-the-slide.html

Now, i'm coming from this as a mom who's DS is autistic and dyspraxic, so 'hovering' around him in the playground comes as par for the course because he doesn't get the social niceties and his balance isn't great.

I'm a stickler for telling him not to climb the slide, i don't mind if he's got it to himself, but the moment another child wants to play, i will stop him.

Reading through the comments on the blog, there are a lot of parents who not only advocate allowing the kids to climb, but also for other parents to leave their children alone to sort it out for themselves without the parents stepping in, if i didn't do that, DS is likely to have meltdown or try to hit/push one of the other children.

So.. what side are you on? Do you let them climb the slide and sort it out for themselves if other children object? Or are you on the side of stepping in and dealing with it by stopping it? Do you stop other peoples children?

[OhShutUpThomas]

Older primary school age to early teen children really do not want a slide police.

No, cause you'd hope they'd have enough sense to not need telling by then.

But why would children that age be in soft play anyway?

[SweetAdeline]

paxillin I have a 4 year old who I'm happy enough to let have free rein in the playground because I put the effort in to insist on basic safety rules when she was younger. So I can be confident(-ish and I expect increasingly so as she gets older) that she won't do anything stupid like run in front of swings, climb up a slide other children were using (or at all), slide down when the slide isn't clear etc etc. If she wasn't able to play safely I'd hover.

[paxillin]

That was exactly my question, if everybody is talking babies and toddlers at softplay, of course you police. But teens and mud on slides was mentioned, so clearly people try to police adventure playgrounds for older kids.

[AdriftOnMemoryBliss]

paxillin, some of us are talking about some children who have disabilities and developmental delays. our parenting/policing is necessary for however long its required, age really doesn't come into it!

[SweetAdeline]

I though you were the only one really talking about older children tbh.

I also think climbing up a tall slide at an adventure playground would be a monumentally stupid thing to do.

[Highsteaks]

That article is such tosh. Oh no, if.your child isnt allowed to climb the slide it will stunt their creative development? What arsebollocks.

Climbing the slide when the are other people around (which I assume there are in the article's situation as she is 'addressing' the parent of another child) is just plain old bad manners as it means other kids can't enjoy the slide properly.

[MrsSchadenfreude]

I was on bouncy castle duty at the school fete one year. Part of the castle had a bit where you can climb up to the top and then slide down. There was one child who was about 5, who insisted on climbing up. I told her not to (this was what I was there for, to stop the children climbing up, as the older kids launched themselves over the top, it wasn't always possible to see if there were children coming up it).

She climbed down, went to speak to her mother and then came back and said "Mommy says I can climb up if I like, and I don't have to do as you say." Mommy was standing nearby, smirking, so I went to her and explained about the larger kids coming down, and she said "Don't you tell my child what she can and can't do. If she wants to climb up it, she can." I said fine, but I wasn't going to be responsible for any accidents. The inevitable happened and three eleven year olds launched themselves down the slide when she was half way up, she got caught up with them and dragged screaming to the bottom. Fortunately she wasn't badly hurt, although she did bang her head. And I'm afraid I did say "I told you so" to her mother.

[Purplerain067]

No climbing up the slide here, plenty of other things to climb on.

I've often told other children to stop climbing up it, if I hadn't they would have got hit by the child coming down. Or my daughter would be sitting at the top waiting to slide down for a very long time.

Parents have never said anything to me, maybe because they often send their children unattended to the local park.

[whois]

I'm still PMSL at the assertion that climbing the slide is good for development! Must have missed that section in the developmental handbook.

[ItsAllGoingToBeFine]

Surely one of the things we do as parents is to teach our children fairness, taking turns etc, as well as self-reliance.

In a small play park with a wide age range of kids (toddlers through to teens) all using the same equipment, leaving all the children to sort it out themselves would end up in a Lord of the Flies scenario IMO.

Some children are lovely and would always make sure that the younger kids get a fair go. Others behave in an entitled and frankly shitty manner, literally pushing past small children in the queue etc.

Anecdotally in my area the "rough" kids from the scheme are great with the wee kids, the Boden wearing middle-class kid who is too good for the local.schools is the one pushing people out of the way and climbing up the slide while a queue builds at the top.

[OhShutUpThomas]

My children are tough farm kids, could ride a pedal bike at 2 with no stabilisers, get liberally covered in mud daily and regularly climb and fall off all sorts of stuff.

I still watch them at playgrounds though to make sure they're not being dicks.

[paxillin]

The climb up the slide for development is deliberate mockery. Nobody claims it is necessary. Unsupervised play is good though (from e certain age) and helicoptering over pfb can create a fearful child with no confidence in her own ability (well, mummy needs to watch my every move, I clearly cannot be trusted).

Of course you can tell off other children if they are endangering someone. People do tend to go to the same playgrounds and parks most of the time and the micro-managers are quickly known among kids and yes, their opinion will be discounted even by children.

Children have a fine radar for justice and know if someone dresses something up as a "safety concern" when all it is is clearing a path for their special petal who must use all equipment exactly as prescribed by H&S standard operating procedures and must not get muddy.

[AdriftOnMemoryBliss]

whois, i'm not sure it's a recognised developmental therapy ;)

the only thing it could be good for, having done plenty of therapy with my son, is its a good exercise in strength and co-ordination, maybe?

[TaraCarter]

Blogger is an idiot with very limited life experience, although she would perhaps prefer me to attribute it to her lack of imagination.

"And what’s the worst that can happen if the child did get hurt climbing the slide? As Alfred says to batman, “Why do we fall Master Wayne? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.”

[WhirlwindHugs]

It's exercise that uses a variety of muscles, therefore it's good for development!

[paxillin]

One could say no climbing up the slide, no swinging on the climbing frame, no climbing on the swings, no jumping on the roundabout, no standing on the rockers.

Or one could say play and have fun, but think about how to be safe and look out for others, especially weaker ones.

One of the two approaches is fun and teaches several life skills, the other is boring and teaches how to "correctly" use play equipment.

[Jesabel]

Mine are allowed to climb up slides, but the child coming down has priority. If they are holding children up or likely to get hurt then I'd take mine off, but in softplay or something I might let them learn through experience!

If another child is blocking the slide by climbing up while others want to come down, I'd have no problem telling them they will get hurt if they don't move. If they are too small to understand that and are unsupervised, I have and would physically move a toddler out of the way to avoid them being injured.

[Italiangreyhound]

The article seems to totally miss the point that what really happens is one kids decides to do it differently and spoils it for everyone else who simply wants to slide down the slide.

If a kid slides into them and knocks them flying it is not just a problem for the kids sent flying, the other kids could be hurt and then may feel guilty. So what happens, a few kids stand around and WAIT while one kids does what they like. If the park is empty, go ahead, if the park is full or if other kids want to use the slide then let them use it.

And actually by allowing one's child to hog the slide and piss all the other kids off a parent is actually failing to get their kid to understand the rules of shared play and shared use of equipment.

There are sometimes plenty of trees for climbing and there is no need for kids to all conform and do things the same way, but simply going the wrong way up or down a slide is just annoying, would the adult equivalent be deciding to drive on the opposite side of the road??!!

[Singsongsungagain]

As stated before, my child has never climbed up a slide but goes climbing at a climbing wall regularly as is doing really well. She doesn't seem to have been adversely affected by my desire to have her use play equipment in the way it was designed to be used. Funny that.

[Andrewofgg]

Part of the function of such things as slides is to teach chiuldren to wait their turn and queue properly, isn't it?