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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My ex-h and his OW are utterly nasty, goady c***s for doing this...

125 replies

TheFormidableMrsC · 07/02/2016 01:23

Haven't name changed, probably should have given huge backstory...however, tell me I am unreasonable? My ex-h turned up today with a private plate on his new Audi displaying his, OW's, her son's and our son's initials. He pays less than £4 a day in maintenance as he pleaded poverty and only last week refused to pay £14 for two new school jumpers for our DS. He is an utter cunt, isn't he?

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Namechanger2015 · 07/02/2016 15:03

Audi + private number plate = twat everytime

Love this!

My ex has an Audi with private plates as well as an Aston Martin with private plates.

3 DDs get £10/week each in CM payments from him whilst he is loaded.

Karma will bite them all in the arse MrsC!

Marilynsbigsister · 07/02/2016 16:49

Vanity plate ... Clues in the title . It is one of the most ostentatious and ridiculous displays of vanity. It's all they have - bless- these little displays of ridiculous consumption are all there is in their shallow lives.

It is the only way to make themselves feel good because they know what they have done. They have to stick together and most importantly put on a good show...or what ? Admit how appalling they have been to you (who has caused none of this) and his own child.

SlowFJH · 07/02/2016 18:06

Private number plates serve absolutely no useful purpose other than to disguise the age of the car (so double dose of vanity)..

It also typically means that those who have them always get to cut into queuing traffic and never indicate at roundabouts. I'll wager he / she also believes that combination of Audi and private plate gives them the right to hog the middle and outside lanes of the motorway.

TheFormidableMrsC · 07/02/2016 20:39

I have laughed at the "plate" posts...and feel so sad reading further tales of financial fuckwittery. It is so lovely to see so many of you who supported me so much during my "Desperate & Awful" threads. Marilyn, your post was lovely, thank you. I do sometimes wish I could update on the endless twattish behaviour that continues on, but I have to stop somewhere!

This might be a good time to admit that I have a private plate. I don't want it, it is ex-h's. He didn't want it refused to pay for the transfer costs yet demanded a valuation of it Hmm, thus I am currently stuck with it. This has given me the incentive to save up and get the godawful thing removed asap Smile

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Marilynsbigsister · 07/02/2016 21:40

Why thank you Mrs C , I am amongst your legion of silent lurkers. Have been with you since the start but for some reason this ' vanity plate ' scenario just made me need to point out how tragic they are. -

do you want to know something funny ? Dh car has a vanity plate but the thing that amuses me the most is that the car was bought with it on and therefore the alpha/numeric combo has no connection with our family... and we always have greater calls on our money than to be arsed to change it....

TheFormidableMrsC · 07/02/2016 21:55

Marilyn, that's lovely to hear, thank you! I will always be absolutely indebted to all who supported me, lurkers or otherwise, MN is a wonderful place when things are tough! I should just rise above, but that was really quite hurtful, although I am used to being hurt by him, he/they enjoy it. Sad pair of arseholes.

Yes, totally get the "greater call on money" thing...it's around £150 for the transfer (a month's maintenance for me Hmm). You can be forgiven for having bought it with the car...perhaps consider making up an outlandish story to explain it Smile

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Beth2511 · 07/02/2016 22:21

Wow thought I'd read the first of your big three threads and a few hours later I'd read all three. What horrible horrible horrible people. You are inspiring, I certainly couldn't have acted with such grace and dignity.

Karma is a bitch

TheFormidableMrsC · 07/02/2016 23:22

Christ on a bike Beth...did you really?! Goodness, that must have ruined your Sunday!!! It's an epic isn't it? I am in a much better place now sort of but I haven't yet had the courage to read them again, one day maybe. I am absolutely sure I was anything but graceful and dignified a lot of the time but certainly did not deserve the shit they put me through and continue to do so. I will never ever ever get my head round it. Thank you for taking the time to do that Flowers.

Ironically, I came almost face to face with OW on New Year's Eve. It was the weirdest set of circumstances and she pretended she hadn't seen me but I am absolutely sure she had. I felt absolutely fabulous, she looked like his nan shit.

At the end of the day, I have my beautiful children, my home, fantastic friends and family and the moral highground. We have lots of plans, we are looking forward to moving and I have a happy, if not stressful, life generally. I never thought that would be possible...but it SO is Smile

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Beth2511 · 07/02/2016 23:32

No it really didn't. It was like reading my child hood in many respects, which is what got my started but by the time I got half way though it was like reading a book where you are absolutely routing for the person and just had to read to the end to find out if they did manage to stop the awfulness.

Your children are very very lucky to have a mum who despite all the horrors thrown at them held their head up eye and only ever did what was in their best interests. Not many children have mums who would have managed it and you will receive the rewards for that for the rest of your life from your children.

Really glad you achieved what you thought would be impossible :)

shutupandshop · 07/02/2016 23:34

Hope he gets run over in the personalised car by accident of course fuckwit

PotteryPotKnobs · 07/02/2016 23:35

MrsC'
I lurked followed you all way through your previous threads but never commented as so many other wise and wonderful MN'rs were already doing such a good job in supporting you.
But this, this totally resonates with me. This seedy, stingy, repulsive behaviour to his own child. How could he? He's hideous... Just as I used to think the same about my Ex.

As others have said though, what goes around comes around.

My Ex was willing to see his child homeless and living in a refuge. Wearing clothes until they wore out as they couldn't be replaced too often due to lack of funds. Bringing him home from a visit and pointing out that his shoes were worn out and that I were to make sure I buy him some new ones before his next visit as He didn't wish to be embarrassed in front of his family, even stood in front of a judge whilst wearing his oldest clothes and wept crocodile tears blubbing that he couldn't afford to pay the child maintenance and 'could the judge reduce it please? thank you very much', sob, sob!. ....I could go on.
He too drove around in a brand new car with private plates, holidayed abroad,designer clothes etc, whilst we used the bus, went on day trips to the seaside, shopped in charity shops.

But now, some decades later, he's unemployable, was recently sacked, looks rancid, old car, no friends, no family.In debt. No one wants to know him. He is lower than the green algae on a dried up pond.

Just as no one will want to know your ex....truth will out.

Stay the strong, compassionate, wonderful woman and mother you have always been, turn away from his negativity and look onwards to the life you want and shall have.

Brightest blessings and warmest hugs for you and your DC's. (smile)

Mag314 · 07/02/2016 23:36

I never think well of those with personalised number plates. He really is advertising to the world that he is a twat.

acatcalledjohn · 07/02/2016 23:48

Why is it that that I read the thread title and thought: I bet this is MrsC...

It's because Mr WT & Pineapple Pauline are the scum of the earth and dumb & self-obsessed enough to pull a stunt like that.

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this shit. Still. Three years later. Thanks &Winefor you.

(I would also like to add that I have the UNT mug mentioned upthread. It's a most excellent mug for drinking gin out off when livid Grin)

TheFormidableMrsC · 08/02/2016 00:31

Beth my God, I am so sorry that you have been subjected to anything like that during your childhood. How awful Flowers. Thank you so much for your lovely words, I really do appreciate it so very much Smile.

PotteryPotKnobs....again, I am speechless. I don't know why really, having seen so many cases of parental neglect during this experience, yet every time I read of another story, I am dumbstruck. Thank God your DC had you. I am utterly delighted to hear about your ex...what an vile POS he is. Again, thank you so much for your lovely words Flowers Smile.

Shutp...we can live in hope!! Mag, do know how he will be viewed, how he is viewed. It's so disrespectful to OW's late husband too. Vile.

acat..how lovely to hear from you...yep good guess!! So it goes on. I have to admit that I am rather more forthright these days and I do not put up with his shit in any way whatsoever. I am still threatened with the police for causing him "emotional distress"...you've got to laugh!! I need that UNT mug for wine...or gin...or anything really! Thanks for stopping by Smile Flowers

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KakiFruit · 08/02/2016 00:52

OP, you sound brilliant. This tosser will realise what he missed out on one day, hopefully when he's alone and penniless, and you'll be able to laugh in his face like everybody who sees his pretentious number plate is already.

Wine to you and Star for your son!

IThoughtItWasAFart · 08/02/2016 06:44

Does he actually give you the £150 a month?
Sorry I don't know the back ground stories!

But £4 a week would be hideous if he's driving an Aldi.
£150 is ok though, I'd have thought?

But as I said I don't know the back ground and others on here have clearly followed.

IThoughtItWasAFart · 08/02/2016 06:48

Oh I just re-read the OP.

I got £150 a month from my ex for our son and I always thought that was fair.

However, if he's an arsehole, he's an arsehole. It takes more than ££ to be a decent father.

BravingSpring · 08/02/2016 07:33

Ithoughtitwasafart What's reasonable depends on your ex's income.

Namechanger2015 · 08/02/2016 07:43

At the end of the day, I have my beautiful children, my home, fantastic friends and family and the moral highground. We have lots of plans, we are looking forward to moving and I have a happy, if not stressful, life generally. I never thought that would be possible...but it SO is smile

That's the ultimate prize isn't it? I feel for your MrsC, I am going through similar at the moment and it's stressful and scary. But we have our children and we have kindness and decent within us. They have nothing meaningful at all. Buying private plates to prove your worth when you won't provide for your children is disgusting. They will get their dues I'm sure. Much love to you.

donajimena · 08/02/2016 07:50

Mrs C I knew it would be you Sad I don't know if its been mentioned but you can take it to tribunal the CSA. I know someone who went to one and they were going to pick over his financials with an accountant (via CSA) I don't know the outcome or if its changed under CMS but its worth a phone call!

ootsideinbacktaefront · 08/02/2016 08:07

I miss my exdh, but my aim is improving Grin

TheFormidableMrsC · 08/02/2016 08:13

Morning all! Re : Maintenance, it is half what he is supposed to pay, he halved it out of spite, nothing else and I also have several emails where he is clearly threatening me with halving it if I didn't do as he said. He has gone to huge lengths to avoid paying the correct amount, even allowing his own company to be liquidated. It is being dealt with.

Ha ha ootside..!

Namechanger..I am sorry you're going through this, it does get better, I promise Flowers.

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Christinayangstwistedsista · 08/02/2016 08:26

What a sad individual

aprilanne · 08/02/2016 08:34

it must be hard but just ignore him .your boy will know who was the one who sacrificed for him and you will be the one he respects when an adult not his stupid father .

TheFormidableMrsC · 08/02/2016 08:40

donajimena...thank you so much for your advice, I am totally on it! Flowers

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