AIBU to feel so strange and not know what to do?

[musthavebeentimeless]

Went on laptop before, accidentally went on DHs Facebook.

I read his messages (I know.)

The thing was he was joking and laughing with his friend about something that happened years ago but it was something awful and tremendously disrespectful to a woman.

I feel like it might not have actually happened.

But AIBU to feel weird about it, like I want to confront him but also don't.

I feel like I am repulsed by him, by what he said.

What's funny? I don't get it.

Esmeismyhero look after yourself

I'm single so could be wrong about this but ... isn't reading someone's private fb messages a massive violation?

Oh please.

I'm single so could be wrong about this but ... isn't reading someone's private fb messages a massive violation?
Oh please.

What does that mean? It isn't a violation? Fair enough, it just seems like it would be to me.

musthave you are not wrong, I'm sorry I worded it harshly. I'm sorry about your situation. apologises X

apologys

Am I missing something here?

Husband jokes about some kind of sexual assault on a sex worker. Wife feels sickened but won't confront him.

Hmmm...

Bloody hell **apologies, I need sleep I think.

It's ok, esme, I'm sorry I didn't acknowledge your post as fully as I could but I'm still in shock and very upset. I'm so sorry you went through that

I just wanted to be clear that what you went through was utterly morally repugnant and also illegal whereas this - if true - this is not actually breaking any laws, but it is reprehensible not just because of the act (bad enough) but because of the way he spoke about and referred to this woman. If he'd done nothing whatsoever and still spoke about her in the way he did, I'd still be utterly horrified.

I hope that makes sense. Again, I'm sorry for what you went through and if it looked like I was brushing it to one side; I wasn't. X

I don't know what to do yet actually liberated. It wasn't a sexual assault, though. If the act had been illegal I wouldn't hesitate to notify the necessary authorities.

Esme hope you find peace, or as close to as you can, one day.

Oh - forget it.

musthave no I didn't think you were brushing it aside, just wanted to say what that woman might be feeling from the other side iyswim.

january I'm doing cbt now, I feel strong enough to go through my feelings I couldn't when I was younger. I'm cool though, I try not to dwell. Thank you

Sorry for the derail op x

OP this thread is going to continue with people assuming what it could be.
You have told us it involves a sex worker. I dont know why you dont just say what it is. At least then we can all base our comments on the facts you have given us. Would be a lot easier than drip feeding information. I say all this with utmost respect to you but if you want answers you should give the facts and not half the story

Honestly, forget it, I've asked Mumsnet to delete my account. Thanks to those who believed me.

Agree with Flat, it's very difficult for anyone to say what an appropriate response to this message would be if we don't know what he actually did (or what he's saying he did) to this poor woman.

timeless, pm if you think it would help

I can't see any posts that don't believe you?

Really odd that isnt it? as soon as someone says about looking at past posts you wan the thread deleting? why would that be?

No one said they dont believe you. Where does that come from

I have AS'd the op

there is nothing dodgy

for everyone's information

Thanks Anyfucker, there was just summat about the name xxx

shaz implied she didn't believe the op was genuine...

there is something about the name shazza that jars

shal we AS you ? [wink

cross posts.