to think "neighbour" has assaulted my child

[BubbleBathAddict]

Basically my 11 year old son was in a group of school friends yesterday after school. On the way home from the park they played "knock down ginger" -ie they knocked on a couple of front doors quite near us and ran away. Now this is not something I was aware of or would condone, but on the scale of "crime" it's not something to get too excited about.

My son said he did not do the knocking and stayed on the pavement.
At the second house the woman came out and yelled. The boys ran. All of them more quickly than my son it seems. Half way home (a few houses only) he felt someone grab his wrist and the said woman insisted he tell her where he live and frog-marched him home. He was in tears. I was at work, but his dad and older brother were in.

I do not know the woman at all. She apparently said her children were scared. I am pretty furious that she thought it was OK to grab and intimidate a child. That might have been appropriate 40 years ago, but these days touching anyone without consent is battery isn't it?

I don't want to over-react, but will be going over there today. What would you do?

[OurBlanche]

Really, Fanjo?

A woman who had her door knocked caught up with one, recognised him and took him home for his mum to deal with.

What exactly is wrong with that? It seems like a perfectly normal thing to do, to me! If, that is, you consider yourself to be part of a community!

[BubbleBathAddict]

You're out on a limb Fanjo - consider yourself way outvoted.

[StubbleTurnips]

YABVU OP.

Try the daily mail for a sad face picture.

In seriousness, hes got off very lightly. Situations escalate... what if they hadn't of run and started laughing at that poor woman, what if she'd been stressed to the eyes when shouting and collapsed. A very different outcome to the same scenario.

I've been that woman, I've found where some little 'darlings' lived and given the parents both fucking barrels. Your lack of consideration for the other side of this behaviour is enlightening. Lots of posters here have explained why this would have consequences to them.

[ItsJustaUsername]

I grabbed a child by the scruff of the neck yesterday. He had another child by the hair and was slamming his face into a fence. If the victim had been your child OP would you have preferred I had carried on walking?

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

So what else should she have done?

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

You would really grab a kid roughly and frogmarch them crying if they knocked on your door and ran away sparkling?

[FantasticButtocks]

how is it legal/moral for a stranger to grab a child by the wrist was the question. She was a stranger, yes. But your son and his friends chose to engage with her when they knocked on a stranger's door for their own amusement. What do you think she should have done?

Your attitude is not going to help your son to take responsibility for his actions. Your insistence on minimising what he did and maximising what the woman did, will not help him to understand that there are consequences for his actions, so he should think when he next gets an urge to behave like this. I expect the woman's reaction will make him think. Which is no bad thing.

And to call this 'assault' or 'battery' is just totally ridiculous!!!

[LaurieMarlow]

Your parenting leaves a lot to be desired OP. Unfortunate for the poor woman that she had to suffer for it and pick up the slack. You and your son should both be apologising.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

And i have lived beside some really troublesome kids

[OhShutUpThomas]

It gets better

You keep going OP. Despite the fact that so many people have simultaneously and without prior agreement posted the same thing, it doesn't mean that you're really, REALLY in the wrong.

No, we're just all nasty meanies it's too much time on our hands.

I hope your son gets over his assault.
And when you do go to the police, PLEASE post their reply.

[Birdsgottafly]

""Yes it was stupid, thoughtless, antisocial etc but is not a "crime". ""

Antisocial behaviour is a crime. So is intimidation.

I'm ill in bed, that's why I've got "so much time on my hands", to post a detailed response, just to answer your PA wonderings.

Actions have consequences, best lesson in life that your son can learn.

[Concerned97]

Have you read all the answers ? You found the time?

You sound extremely defensive and unwilling to see what's in front of your face....your son and his mates are a pain in the arse.

Why was your son crying? He knows how to pull your chain doesn't he! I've been out of order, I could get in trouble, I'll cry and mummy will tell the nasty lady off for upsetting me.

I really would not be going round to her house, you'll get the same answer as the majority on here said and you won't like it. She'll tell you to keep your son under control or collect her from school and walk him home until he can behave, not let him out after school until he can behave.

I also question how you'll find the tone to go round there.

Honestly you will show yourself up...a lot!

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Oh not bothered about that OP

[seven201]

YAdedinitelyBU.

[whaleshark]

This thread has actually made me feel quite positive about society. It is nice to see that so many people take the common sense view. OP, the whole problem is that teachers are barely allowed to touch a child to comfort them, in the same way that a generation of children are growing up believing that no adult is allowed to put a hand on them. I think you will find very few people who think hitting a child is right in any circumstances, but taking them by the wrist to take them home to a parent is very far from assaulting them, if you apply a little common sense.

[tickory2]

I dont think op is absolving her ds behaviour necessarily, but could be said neighbour was very rough with him. She could have marched him home without the rough grabbing.
Go round calmly, apologise and ineighbour might also apologise for the grabbing which I do think was OTT.

[TheWitTank]

Ah, it's one of THOSE threads.
Am I being unreasonable?
Mn: universal yes
OP: No I'm not you bitches -plus massive strop.

Joy.
You think you are right. Do what you want then. Don't post on a fairly hardcore forum and expect a lot of pandering and "aw hun you are sooo right get round there and smack the cow".

[LittleLionMansMummy]

Toughasoldboots no doubt most heroin addicts started off smoking cannabis - doesn't mean everyone who smokes cannabis will go on to do hard drugs. My dad played knock down ginger as a child and had never been to prison or started a riot - I would consider him a good parent. The op's child did wrong, there was a consequence which the op should be following up on by getting her ds to apologise and reinforcing with some kind of punishment. But I hardly think she has a young Charles Manson on her hands.

[BubbleBathAddict]

She did not recognise him. She did not know him. She asked him where he lived and he was not quick thinking enough to lie. Number one in parenting should be making sure your child can give a false name and address when apprehended. Again epic parent fail.

[Sparklingbrook]

Are you going to say what happened when your son and the woman got to your house OP? Why did his Dad not deal with it?

[ImNotAFlower]

I would be unhappy at someone manhandling my child BUT...

I think that I would have to sit down with my child and explain that while she should not have dragged him home, what he was doing (if he knocked or not) was wrong and that I would not like it if it was done to me.
I would use it as a lesson to him also remove something (XBox or whatever) as punishment. I would want my child to know that it was unacceptable to knock on people's homes and run for his entertainment.

As for the lady in question I would leave it for now, and quite possibly make him go and apologise to her.
Weather it was him or not he was part of it and has to learn if he is going to do that with friends he will be tarred with the same brush.

[OurBlanche]

Ah! Well, there's hope for him yet