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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

We appear to have inadvertently irked our neighbours

43 replies

mamacasshadahairyass · 05/02/2016 22:12

Our NDNs have been confrontational and agressive since they moved to our street in 2012. If we see them at the front of their property, we wait until theyve disappeared before we go out just to avoid them. Today, things just got, well, wierd.

We've been burgled a few times, so Yesterday we put a new security fence in our garden. Its on our property and not a party boundary structure. As soon as he got in from work, or NDN was round shouting that he doesnt want to look at it and demanding we remove it, and making veiled threats to burn down an outbuilding. Also, his wife was roaring at the top of her voice at DP in the street, calling him various names and said that theyre sending someone round over the weekend to take it down.

WIBU to tell them to FOTTFSOF?

OP posts:
MadameDePompom · 05/02/2016 22:15

I wouldn't even bother.

Threats to burn down an outbuilding? I'd have a word with police and see what they advised.

ollieplimsoles · 05/02/2016 22:17

Making threats to damage your property and burn things down?

Oh that's going to be good...

Why are some people like this? We have a woman down our street like it, everything effects her in some way

SnuffleGruntSnorter · 05/02/2016 22:20

Just smile and nod and close the door.

Original poster
mamacasshadahairyass · 05/02/2016 22:23

It was a veiled threat - he said if i did x near your outbuilding it might accidentally burn down if you dont remove the fencing.

Theyre such hard work. Comstantly at us to do stuff that will benefit them, e.g. chop trees down.

OP posts:
Original poster
mamacasshadahairyass · 05/02/2016 22:25

We've done that, Snuffle. They dont get the hint.

OP posts:
ExitPursuedByABear · 05/02/2016 22:26

Eek they sound scary. And unhinged.

Smile and wave

honeysucklejasmine · 05/02/2016 22:28

Not that it excuses their behaviour, but what does the fence loom like?

Has their behaviour ever got to the point of ASBOs? Making threats and needing to avoid them isn't normal.

JolseBaby · 05/02/2016 22:30

'Gosh, it's a good thing that we have CCTV then, because if it did happen it would make life so much easier for your home insurer to pay out for the damage caused by your negligence. It would also be useful evidence for the Police. But of course there won't be a problem, will there?' Tinkly laugh and hard stare.

Doesn't matter if you have CCTV or not - they don't know that. Ignore them, but if they carry on hassling you then you might want to have a chat with the local CPO.

PeaceOfWildThings · 05/02/2016 22:30

Not a very well veiled threat. Pretty transparent. Surely the answer to that is that your insurance company will be investigating any such damage and pursining them for the costs of replacement!

Film them. Record their rantings and threats. Be exceptionally nice and polite to everyone on the street, especially them. Give them nothing to throw back at you.

Original poster
mamacasshadahairyass · 05/02/2016 22:33

Its wood, under 2m in height, the kind you usually see in a back garden.

Dont want to drip feed, but he's also previously complained about leaves from our trees falling in his garden.

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 05/02/2016 22:38

Ignore them or film them and take it straight to police who have better things to do or a solicitor if you want to throw money at it.

If it were me ignore.

Nightmare neighbours have made me want to move (or they moved!).

FlatOnTheHill · 05/02/2016 22:38

They sound like lunatics. Im not going over the top but make diary notes of their behaviour. Hopefully you wont need it bit if they get out of hand you may have to call the police and then at least you can refer back to their threats. Good luck. Ive encountered shit neighbours and its awful.

SuperFlyHigh · 05/02/2016 22:41

Jesus wept. So it's a normal fence?

I'd be quite tempted to say in measured tones, it is a reasonable fence like anyone else puts up, that it is on YOUR land, not theirs and it is for security.

If they went further re the threats, I would also be very tempted to say (as you can't reason with their sort) that if they carried on in that manner you'd have to do something about it. do the police etc still issue ASBOs?!

Iwantmymaidennameback · 05/02/2016 22:42

OMG we had that shit.
Lived in same house for over ten years. New psycho neighbours move in, we hide every time they are outside.
after various altercations we involved the police but were "warned off" by new neighbours. We ended up putting house up for sale and moving.
Apparantly new owners have same issues.
some people are meant to live in the middle of a field miles from other folk.

SuperFlyHigh · 05/02/2016 22:42

Flat police may not want to know unless something actually happens. I'd be plotting evil stuff for neighbours too but I'm an evil cow.

Who had the time to deal with such ranting?!

Original poster
mamacasshadahairyass · 05/02/2016 22:43

We havent got money to throw at this problem. DP has phoned a friend who works at the council for advice. He said its a civil matter but we could go for asbo. Im worried going down that route would escalate things more.

I just want my boring quiet life.

OP posts:
SuperFlyHigh · 05/02/2016 22:44

If all else fails contact Daily Mail Sad face or contact one of those Neighbours from Hell documentary TV makers... not helping much there

SuperFlyHigh · 05/02/2016 22:45

I'd go for an asbo (thank F they still have them). Fight fire with fire, they really should not be allowed to abuse you or threaten you. The asbo may get them to shut up.

FlatOnTheHill · 05/02/2016 22:51

When dealing with the police re shit neighbour issues which I had in the past. The police want hard evidence which can be difficult as its your word against theirs. Its quite difficult.

Id be plotting too Superflyhigh. Thing is an asbo has to be given by a judge with evidence.

SuperFlyHigh · 05/02/2016 22:54

Flat I didn't know that re the judge but have had police advice and as you say they often want the hard evidence or say it's a civil matter.

Yes have had nasty neighbours, nothing worked really apart from when we both moved. Now neighbours are fine.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 05/02/2016 22:57

I might choose to wander into the nearest police station and ask them if there was any way they could log that your NDN has made veiled threats to burn down your outhouse, y'know, in case it should burn down later, then they'll have a starting point for why.

I hate NDN trouble. We had this horrible old woman living next to us for a couple of years, it was ghastly! and any time anyone confronted her, or antagonised her, she'd fake heart failure on the spot and claim the stress would kill her (added bonus, IMO, but DH was a bit more cautious). She had amazing plans for the property, but luckily council threw them out! So she moved on. Truly horrible woman, she was.

lorelei9 · 05/02/2016 23:03

Oh what a nightmare
I would film their rants if you can
Have they threatened things in the past?
I'd want to go for ASBO myself

Seeyounearertime · 05/02/2016 23:04

Id seriously consider a CCTV system too. if you've been burgled that many times i'd worry it had something to do with the nutty neighbours.

Original poster
mamacasshadahairyass · 05/02/2016 23:05

Theres a link on our council website to a neighbourhood policing section for dealing with this type of issue. Ive sent an email asking for advice and mentioning both threats that have been made - about burning and sending someone round to take the fence down

OP posts:
FlatOnTheHill · 05/02/2016 23:23

Glad you have done that. Good luck

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