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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed with rude train couple forcing me out of my seat?

80 replies

ciabattav0nbreadstickz · 05/02/2016 12:03

On a long train journey and finally found a seat that was suitable, I always pre book seats and as I need to do work on the train this time I booked a seat that had a table so I could use my tablet. I also always book forward facing seats because I suffer from motion sickness and it gets worse when I travel 'backwards' so to speak and I really didn't fancy feeling nauseated for a journey of several hours.

Unfortunately on this journey my tickets did not have a seat number on them so I just found a suitable seat that was not pre booked and sat there.

The next station we get to a couple get on, his ticket is booked and is the one next to mine. Hers is the one opposite him. She asks me to move because she wants to sit next to her OH. I said, politely, that the seat I was in was not her prebooked seat and that I'd rather not move because I suffer from motion sickness. She was very rude to me and immediately starts saying that 'Oh yes I have that too and I really needs me to move etc etc'. I'm not feeling especially well as have a bad headache in addition to feeling sick so I just moved seats as I couldn't be bothered to argue.

AIBU to be annoyed? The train is pretty busy so there are not many free seats so for the next three hours I'm forced to sit opposite them

OP posts:

SevenOfNineTrue · 05/02/2016 13:20

I'm sorry but they did not 'force' you out of your seat. You decided to move.

Most people would have said 'If you get motion sickness, then I am sure your OH will swap with you' then they'd put their headphones on and not engage further.

Don't let rude people like this push you around OP.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 05/02/2016 13:22

DH (who books in advance) had found 'his' seat on an otherwise busy train. He was glad there was a table (for 4) as he was keen to get on with some work. The one passenger who was already there had his bags on three empty seats and spread all his stuff out over the table and was extremely reluctant to shift to make room and only did so with bad grace.

At the next station two more passengers came along and sat down with magazines and snacks they reasonably wanted to put on the table and the other guy was almost apopletic.

chilledwarmth · 05/02/2016 13:25

Your thread title says they forced you to move but what you've described is you choosing to get up and let them have the seat. What's wrong with just politely saying no?

BolshierAryaStark · 05/02/2016 13:28

They didn't force you to do anything, you said no, they persisted & you gave in. Not what I would have done but you did so seething about it now is pointless.

skinoncustard · 05/02/2016 13:29

I travel regularly between Edinburgh - London with Virgin East Coast.
I always book a seat , preference being forward facing, aisle, not a table. One is allocated , I then go into 'view my seat', if I don't like it ( next to the toilet!!!) I then choose another - so yes you can choose an actual seat , if it's available. It's been like this for at least 10 years on the east coast line.

It's too late now but you shouldn't have moved. You allowed yourself to be bullied into moving.

BreconBeBuggered · 05/02/2016 13:32

I don't like the idea of having a theoretical seat at all! It's hard enough to chuck people out when you know you're in the right. Imagine the continual pressure to move for other passengers who think they have more right to a particular seat than you do, that's assuming a theoretical seat actually exists. I physically couldn't travel without a guaranteed seat.

In your case I think I might have suggested the DH swap instead, OP, but it's far easier to make these calls from a nonconfrontational seat in my house.

Gobbolino6 · 05/02/2016 13:48

I wouldn't have moved.

angelos02 · 05/02/2016 13:55

Situations like this I just say no and look away. No need to explain or discuss any further.

NewLife4Me · 05/02/2016 13:59

I can't believe you moved, I certainly wouldn't.
Keep retching like your going to throw up heave a bit and see them move quickly.

JessieMcJessie · 05/02/2016 14:01

The comparison with I allocated seats in a cinema is wrong. In cinemas they don't sell more tickets than seats. On trains they do.

I've always had a seat number allocated when booking in a train. How is it meant to work if you don't get a number and the train is full- do you go round asking all seated passengers to show you proof they booked a seat?

This no number thing sounds like an admin error to me and you should have queried it with the train operator as soon as you booked.

YWBU to have moved. YABU to criticise them for eating panini and drinking coffee- that's perfectly acceptable on a train.

ingeniousidiot · 05/02/2016 14:11

Just shout 'ouch' at the next kick, then 'ouch why do you keep kicking me' at any others. Get a bag and start dry heaving into it, with the occasional spit dribble and then ask them for a tissue.

Alabamaslammer · 05/02/2016 14:31

It's quite correct that on some operators, seats are not reserved, regardless of the info taken by the booking site, for Advance tickets. Other ticket types are usually allocated a seat reservation. You are required to travel on your booked train but do not have a seat reserved.

There is no official explanation but I have seen a suggestion that this is because advance tickets are so heavily discounted that it is felt that seat reservations should be given to people paying more. You can reserve a seat, even then, but need to do so separately, either by phone or at a booking office.

JessieMcJessie · 05/02/2016 14:37

Yep, aware of that Alabama. However OP said she had booked a seat and even chosen table and forward facing.

skinoncustard · 05/02/2016 14:41

Unfortunately some passengers confuse pre booking a ticket to travel on a specific train as having a seat on said train . Booking a ticket and seat are two different things. When pre booking a ticket to travel it actually asks if you also want to book a seat. Although why anyone would choose to travel without a booked seat I have no idea. I think it's crazy that train companies are allowed to sell more tickets than seats.

ExitPursuedByABear · 05/02/2016 14:44

I am cross that you moved.

Please start kicking her back.

And if you could manage a little bit of sick that would be great.

Alabamaslammer · 05/02/2016 14:59

Jessie op said she always prebooks seats but that her tickets for this journey had no seat number. Which means she had no seat reserved, for whatever reason.

Alabamaslammer · 05/02/2016 15:02

What I'm getting at is that it's quite possible to book via thetrainline or somesuch and enter all the info mentioned in the op because it will still allow you to request a forward facing table seat on an Advance ticket with a TOC that doesn't permit seat reservations in such circumstances. You'll get no error msg or anything, you just won't have a seat reservation when you get your tickets.

MyKingdomForBrie · 05/02/2016 15:04

Can't comprehend why you moved. Say no, turn to look out of window and ignore. Absolutely ridiculous that you got up!!!

expatinscotland · 05/02/2016 15:09

YABU. Shouldn't have moved. Tell her her OH can swap with her then.

wulfy1010 · 05/02/2016 15:12

Never giving reasons when random strangers demand stuff is the key. It just gives them a stepping stone to start arguing with you. Just say No I prefer this and keep repeating it, it's much harder for them to maintain the argument. Bury your head in your book or tablet each time you say it and take a moment to respond if they ask again, this gives you a second to think and not react emotionally as well. Not so easy if you are already feeling crazy though

JessieMcJessie · 05/02/2016 15:15

That certainly makes more sense than a seat reservation without a number Alabama.

2rebecca · 05/02/2016 15:16

I wouldn't have moved. If she had wanted to sit next to him she should have booked adjacent seats

Fugghetaboutit · 05/02/2016 15:19

Lol at the title: 'forcing you out of your seat' you sound a wimp, op. Stand up for yourself next time.

PegsPigs · 05/02/2016 15:21

I've had an allocated seat with seat reservation ticket etc and asked someone to move who showed me his seat reservation for exactly the same seat at exactly the same time. So mistakes can happen too.

SiwanGwynt · 05/02/2016 15:54

You should not have moved. Her husband could have swapped with you.

If you are still there and they are still eating, start brushing your hair and drop the loose hairs on the table. My step mum did that once and managed to move some annoying people at our table, without having to say a word.

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