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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed with rude train couple forcing me out of my seat?

80 replies

ciabattav0nbreadstickz · 05/02/2016 12:03

On a long train journey and finally found a seat that was suitable, I always pre book seats and as I need to do work on the train this time I booked a seat that had a table so I could use my tablet. I also always book forward facing seats because I suffer from motion sickness and it gets worse when I travel 'backwards' so to speak and I really didn't fancy feeling nauseated for a journey of several hours.

Unfortunately on this journey my tickets did not have a seat number on them so I just found a suitable seat that was not pre booked and sat there.

The next station we get to a couple get on, his ticket is booked and is the one next to mine. Hers is the one opposite him. She asks me to move because she wants to sit next to her OH. I said, politely, that the seat I was in was not her prebooked seat and that I'd rather not move because I suffer from motion sickness. She was very rude to me and immediately starts saying that 'Oh yes I have that too and I really needs me to move etc etc'. I'm not feeling especially well as have a bad headache in addition to feeling sick so I just moved seats as I couldn't be bothered to argue.

AIBU to be annoyed? The train is pretty busy so there are not many free seats so for the next three hours I'm forced to sit opposite them Angry

OP posts:
Namechangenell · 05/02/2016 12:40

When we were in the UK in the summer (live overseas), DH and I got a train out of Liverpool St and a woman tried to refuse to let DH sit down as SHE WANTED THE SEAT FOR HER BAG! It was crowded, rush hour, and there were only a couple of empty seats left. I sat in one, DH politely asked if she could move her bag and he could sit in the other and she refused! At first we thought she maybe couldn't lift the bag into the overhead storage so DH offered to help her. Again, met with a stony no. I put on my best cut glass accent, asked her if she'd paid for two tickets and said extremely loudly that if not, she couldn't possibly prevent another passenger from sitting down because of a bag... By this time, half the carriage was staring. It was all so unnecessary. I may well have said something about being rude and entitled. The upshot was, she moved the bag, but just how ridiculous!

catsinthecraddle · 05/02/2016 12:41

You really shouldn't have moved. I always arrive super early to make sure I have my seat, forward facing and next to the window. If people prefer to stroll down leisurely to their own seat, then they take what is left!

The couple is stupid, I prefer sitting opposite my husband. We can then both extend our legs and speak to each other, it much more awkward and uncomfortable to seat opposite a stranger.

RealityCheque · 05/02/2016 12:42

Yabu.

For not standing up (or staying sitting down) for yourself.

Fuck them. If she had motion sickness she should have swapped with her partner.

You were not forced to move. You chose to.

SaucyJack · 05/02/2016 12:42

YABU to be annoyed with them, when it's yourself you should be annoyed with. Nobody made you move.

But it's easy for me to sit on my sofa and type that. It's often hard to know what the right thing to do is when you're actually in the situation.

Original poster
ciabattav0nbreadstickz · 05/02/2016 12:44

That's ridiculous Name, I remember once travelling on a very crowded train out of London and the driver actually came on the tannoy thing to remind everyone that bags were not allowed to take up seats and were for passengers only!

Even then it was still so crowded there were people completely blocking the aisles and you couldn't move at all. I do wonder why they let it get so overcrowded, surely it isn't safe for it to be that full?

Grrr she keeps accidentally kicking my feet too!

OP posts:
WeAllHaveWings · 05/02/2016 12:44

Lean over the table and start gagging while they eat their paninis.

I wouldn't have moved, I would have sympathised with her and suggested she sit next to you or find another seat.

ThenLaterWhenItGotDark · 05/02/2016 12:45

I don't understand why you're angry with them either.

You sat down, in a non-reserved seat. Someone asked you to move from it and you did.

Confused
Original poster
ciabattav0nbreadstickz · 05/02/2016 12:47

Yes I do unfortunately have form for being a bit of a pushover but I am working on being more assertive. I actually would have stood my ground on this occasion as I was fully confident that I was in the right but my head hurts so much its even harder to form a coherent argument Sad

Not going to even get much work done at this rate!

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 05/02/2016 12:48

but you can't book specific seats

But I thought that was the whole point of "booking" a seat Confused

PrivatePike · 05/02/2016 12:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SaucyJack · 05/02/2016 12:55

Train fares are often cheaper in advance whether you get a booked seat or not.

Original poster
ciabattav0nbreadstickz · 05/02/2016 13:01

You can book a seat in that, you will have a seat that is allocated to you that no one else is supposed to sit in. You can ask for it to be a window/aisle/forward facing/one with a table etc.. but you might not get that because it depends on how many other people have also booked those kind of seats so its first come first serve for those ones.

I always book trains in advance so I can get the cheapest tickets, I use an app which has my seat preferencs saved so I also always request the same kind of seat (forward facing) if that makes sense! But I've never been able to book an exact seat.

OP posts:
3WiseWomen · 05/02/2016 13:05

I agree with PP. You need towork on been morer assertive!

My answer would have been 'No I'm sorry but I can't'.
Any other commenst, grumbles, complains etc... would have been ignored or met with 'I'm sorry but I can't unless you want me to be sick all over you'.
Theybhad their seats. You didn't them. That's it. They could also have done what yoou did which is to look for two seat somewhere else that were to their liking.

firesidechat · 05/02/2016 13:06

It will tell you which seat has been allocated to you though.

Quoteunquote · 05/02/2016 13:06

You need to practice saying this phrase over and over until it trips off your tongue without hesitation.

"No, that won't work for me"

And as a bonus practice your paddington stare.

3WiseWomen · 05/02/2016 13:06

I'm finding that having my nose back in a book, magazine works quite well for that!

MadamDeathstare · 05/02/2016 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GruntledOne · 05/02/2016 13:09

If you actually need to vomit, you know which direction to aim, don't you? Grin

Groovee · 05/02/2016 13:09

I'd throw up on her and kick her back hard and say "that's for kicking me"

GruntledOne · 05/02/2016 13:11

I don't know if it's a recent thing, but I recently did a train journey where I prebooked but didn't have a seat allocated - so OP is quite right about that.

3WiseWomen · 05/02/2016 13:11

Yes I doubt that the kicking is accidental. Rather I suggest she is making no attempt to be careful (at least).

What a nice person Hmm

CocktailQueen · 05/02/2016 13:12

I've never heard of that. Whenever I book seats on trains I get an actual seat: A38 or whatever. That way, I know it's my seat and nobody else can sit in it.

(Although plenty try. It's not hard to find the right seat on a train, is it?)

splodgeness · 05/02/2016 13:13

"No that won't work for me" - I love it, gonna adopt that one.

OP - I probably would have just moved as I hate confrontation. Also it seems that she cannot be separated from her husband's side for more than a few seconds!! I love it when I can't sit next to DH, I get a bit of peace!!

Whatdoidohelp · 05/02/2016 13:14

You should be annoyed at yourself for moving.

ifigoup · 05/02/2016 13:17

Some lines have started doing a thing where you have a reservation for the train but not an actual numbered seat. Think of it like the cinema: you've paid for a specific screening of the film, so you know you have to see it at that time; you also know that theoretically one seat has been allocated to you; but within that, you can sit where you like and it's first come first served.