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AIBU?

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Original poster

5 year old with facial hair

25 replies

clairemum22 · 04/02/2016 21:51

My dd, age 5, has facial hair. She was sad at bedtime as one of the girls in her class was teasing her, and she said nobody else had any. Obviously, I reassured her and would avoid any hair removal now but does anybody have any experience of this and the best solutions? what is the youngest we could approach this for her?

OP posts:
Krampus · 04/02/2016 22:25

Is it that she has more significantly more facial hair or that it's dark and stands out? Or a mixture of both?

SouthernShepherdess · 04/02/2016 22:30

My dd has very fine hair on her face that is blonde/white, so it only notices in strong light, but then so have I! If it's light it's nornal, if it's dark could be a hormonal problem and you ought to get it checked by the doctor.

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/02/2016 22:34

What's her colouring?

Original poster
clairemum22 · 04/02/2016 22:50

She's olive skinned with fine dark hair each side of her mouth. Not black, but noticeable. Hair on legs and arms too - always had this. Should I be worried then?

OP posts:
tinofbiscuits · 04/02/2016 22:53

Perhaps you could speak to the teacher as then she/he might be able to talk to the class about kindness and how everyone is different.

AlwaysHopeful1 · 04/02/2016 22:54

My Neice has a very noticeable unibrow and now her moustache is also getting darker. My cousin is worried as she is only 3yo and said if it gets darker by the time she starts school she will have to do something about it. Kids can be mean.

trashcanjunkie · 04/02/2016 23:22

One of my boys has an incredibly hairy back. It's dark brown on white skin. His dad is the same and was teased terribly. When ds had swimming it was mentioned by the other kids. I told ds to tell the other kids it was 'wolf hair' because he was into the 'wolf blood' series on tv at the time and werewolves were supercool. Is there something similar your daughter could identify with? (Desperately trying to think of a way to link.... Fairies/butterflies etc)

987flowers · 04/02/2016 23:28

I get my daughter's (9) monobrow waxed after she had unkind words at school. She doesn't have them shaped but just the middle bit done, I thought long and hard about what to do but this seemed the best IMO

TattyDevine · 04/02/2016 23:40

It's a tricky one because there aren't any hair removal methods that don't hurt, that aren't shaving, and she can't shave! Veet would be too strong for young skin I think. Jolen bleach? It might go orange.

She shouldn't have to remove it though...she shouldn't have to change what is different about her.

Hopefully it will die down (the mentioning of it, not the actual hair itself!)

It doesn't sound like something to be worried about if she has olive skin and dark hair though (non-medical opinion!)

MrsJayy · 04/02/2016 23:45

My DD is olive skinned and hairy its a genetic thing your poor DD though speak to her teacher about the teasing . I wouldn't remove it yet she is too young to me messing with removal imo

987flowers · 04/02/2016 23:58

I should say I'm not recommending OP gets her hair removed now. My 6 yr old also has a mono brow but that will stay intact until she is older!

Such a shame that other children tease Sad

BreakWindandFire · 05/02/2016 00:51

You have my sympathy. I was an olive skinned kid with dark hair and can remember being called out for my 'disgusting gorilla legs and arms' in school from the age of 5. DS is now four and I'm glad he's a boy as by the look of him he's going to end up as a bit of a werewolf...

Google eyebrow razors. They are cheap Japanese things which will make tidying monobrows and moustache edges very easy.

This is practical advice. You'll get tons of answers no doubt about how your child should be proud of her hairiness, and it's conforming to unrealistic beauty standards, society is wrong not her and she's too young blah blah. This is all true, but life ain't fair.

TheNewStatesman · 05/02/2016 01:26

Bleach, maybe, if she is embarassed about it?

Rainbunny · 05/02/2016 04:11

I agree with Breakwindandfire - in a perfect world your dd would accept and be proud of her looks... but speaking as someone who had hairy armpits develop a few years ahead of my classmates while my mother refused to allow me to shave them because I was "too young," I honestly just recommend getting eyebrow razors. I use them on my face including upper lip, they're not like a straight razor, they are safer and they do a good job of taking the edge off fine hairs. There are good youtube tutorials on how to use them on your face properly, obviously your dd is very young so it would be you doing it. I included a pic of the type I use, I get them off Amazon cheaply. I wish this wasn't my advice though :(

5 year old with facial hair
FindoGask · 05/02/2016 05:33

My daughter is olive skinned and has hairy arms, legs and lower back. I've always told her she's beautiful the way she is but she's been self-conscious about it since she noticed she was different from most other children she knows, and she does get teased about it. Recently, at her request, I've started shaving her legs for her (she's 8) and she's been so much happier. I agree with the others, it's a shame that this is the world we live in and I applaud body-positive women who aren't ashamed of their own facial/body hair, but my daughter is miserable about it and I don't see why she should be made to prove a point to her horrible classmates.

Paperplain · 05/02/2016 05:40

This is such an interesting thread. My DD (nearly 8) has very hairy legs – dark hairs so very noticeable. She has started getting teased in school and swimming lessons and has become really upset about it. I’ve said that she should ignore the teasing and that it’s normal to be hairy. But I’m conscious that I’m giving another message by shaving etc. myself. I am so torn – I thinks she is too young to start worrying about hair removal and body image but clearly it is upsetting her and I just don’t know what to do.

chumbler · 05/02/2016 06:18

Please double check with Dr

If she's self conscious I would think about removing jn a couple years. In the meantime speak to the teacher. It hopefully is the case that if she ignores teasing / seems unbothered that theyll forget about it soon? I had dark hair on my legs and wasng allowed to shave til 12. I wish I'd been able to do it sooner

scarednoob · 05/02/2016 06:23

Some great advice here. I just wanted to add, as you and your DD sound sad, that it's much better to be the child with a bit of hair than it is to be the one that uses it as a reason to tease and bully someone.

SeventyNineBottlesOfWine · 05/02/2016 06:44

My DD (6) has a cluster of dark hairs that grow from the middle of her nose.
She has been teased a lot about it, particularly by older girls.
We have resorted to shaving them off. I wish that wasn't what we had to do, but children are so cruel and they were upsetting her so much. We shave them off and the problem is solved.

Katenka · 05/02/2016 06:48

I was the same. Olive skinned lots of hair everywhere. It's actually not as dark now.

I started shaving my legs at 9z

It's very difficult. Because you want to teach kids to be comfortable in their own bodies, but also want to avoid upset.

It may be just down to her colouring. But if you are worried, visit your GP

Original poster
clairemum22 · 05/02/2016 07:11

Thank you all so much. I hope that she'll forget for a year or two -she's only 5 they should be worrying about what game to play, not appearance! - and then maybe we could find a more permanent solution. Thanks for all the advice.

OP posts:
BecauseImHappyClapAlong · 19/04/2016 13:51

Such a difficult situation - as others have said, it shouldn't be an issue but often is. My dd is 8 and also very hairy - pale skin and very dark hair on arms, legs, shoulders and back. Dd hasn't had any comments at school so far but they're starting - she was told she had a moustache the other day - which she doesn't at the moment but other girls in her class do have. Does anyone have any recommendations of swimming costumes which are not too revealing - especially without those holes at the back which they all seem to have. Needs to be black. Thanks very much.

TruJay · 19/04/2016 14:32

When I was younger I was very hairy but it was white blonde hair, we (mum and I) used to call it my 'pixie fluff' under my ears and down my jaw, only a couple of people referred to it and I never touched it as it didn't really bother me.

My legs in the other hand, although still very fair were incredibly hairy and people, mainly joys, teased me. My mum bought me these things called silky mits and you used them in a circular motion to remove the hair, they were brilliant, I was about 9 and I was too young to be shaving. They were from super drug. I moved onto sensitive hair removal cream around 11/12 and finally shaving about 14, only when legs were on show though.

Dh has very big dark brows and creates a mono brow, he was teased at school. I just took him with me to sort it when I got mine waxed when we got together and he's much happier with them now. If my ds follows suit I'll take him to get his done too if he wants to but ds is incredibly fair so far.

Can't kids be bloody horrible!

TruJay · 19/04/2016 14:33

Boys not joys

TruJay · 19/04/2016 14:35

These are them

5 year old with facial hair
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