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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teacher quit and walked out

368 replies

Moonlitarsehole · 03/02/2016 16:23

Nc'd to not out myself.

Ds informs me on the way home that his teacher walked out on his last class this afternoon.

Apparently she'd asked on numerous occasions for quiet, and threatened to not help with their coursework. Then said "fuck you lot, I quit", collected her bag and walked out.

I was like Shock ds was vague and said he didn't want me to call the school, as they'd all had to make witness statements.

Anyway, dh is home today and asked ds if he'd been talking too (after I tell him what had happened) and really told ds off for being so disrespectful.

Ds is upstairs writing a letter of apology, not sure what the school's take is on it. Not even sure if she'll get it.

So aibu to think the teacher just lost their shit, which happens to us all?

OP posts:
chicaguapa · 03/02/2016 17:18

Glad to open the thread and see lots of support for the teacher. It's a soul-destroying job sometimes (like many are).

I also hope she's ok. For most people in these vocational jobs, it's more than just something to pay the wages. So not only has she been pushed to the brink and beyond, she may well be feeling a bit adrift.

Or maybe she's just feeling liberated and she's dancing around her kitchen with the weight of the world off her shoulders. Grin

ChickyChickyParmParm · 03/02/2016 17:18

Who'd want to be a teacher. You are badly paid and get treated like shit.
^^

That. DH is a teacher. He lasted two years in the UK. He teaches overseas now in a private school. Enormous respect to those who stick it out because it is fucking hard work.

TheoriginalLEM · 03/02/2016 17:19

To be fair though, we don't know that it was the kids that caused the breakdown - as i said, it could well be a result of the pressure from management, teachers are treated like machines, i honestly don't know how they do it and they certainly have my respect.

Rinoachicken · 03/02/2016 17:20

This happened in a science class at my secondary school. Teacher was conducting an experiment at the front and every time she turned away someone blew out the bunson burner. After about 4 times she just left. She did come back about 6 months later and everyone in the school gave her SO much respect and kindness (probably out of guilt for having been so mean!).

I know as a class we all felt really guilty :(

OurBlanche · 03/02/2016 17:20

It's the directed swearing, MrsJM.

If, once the school have all the statements, they all remember her saying "Fuck you" then there could be a lot of legalese thrown at her, and her union won't be able to minimise it. It is a cardinal sin, I am afraid. She may get 'points', I doubt she would be removed altogether, but she would probably find it hard to summon up the will or enthusiasm to apply for jobs and explain herself over and over again.

Then again, her school might, might be better than that!

JT05 · 03/02/2016 17:22

Great on you both for having the right, supportive parental attitude.

I retired from a senior teaching post, after teaching for several decades in inner city Secondary schools. It might have been tough at times, but there is no way that I would recommend teaching to anyone now.

I admire and thank those who are teachers today despite so many pressures.

shazzarooney99 · 03/02/2016 17:24

chicaguapa I hope to think she will be dancing round the kitchen with a big bottle of wine xxx

PicnicPie · 03/02/2016 17:24

Poor woman. I really do feel for her.

I know first hand from a very close relative how hard it can be. This relative teaches as an inner london state school where a lot of the pupils are ungrateful, celebrity obsessed and image driven. They have no appreciation for education and no respect for anyone let alone their teachers. It's such a hard job and I do not know how she faces those attitudes regularly in addition to the poor management and ever increasing paperwork, spot checks and marking.

rockiestbottom · 03/02/2016 17:24

This happened at dds school a couple of weeks ago.
I wouldn't teach secondary school for anything :(

RedToothBrush · 03/02/2016 17:24

We had a teacher who did this when I was at school. Every other teacher regarded our class as the best in the school. Yet it was our class that gave him a break down. The class were horrible that day (I can say hand on heart that I was one of about 3 who remained behaved thankfully or I would feel very guilty about it now).

Many of the kids who were usually good simply weren't. I think perhaps that because we were the 'good class' and he still couldn't manage us, was part of the problem and why he snapped.

We never saw the teacher again. Poor bloke.

Glad your son is apologising, but it might be too late, and its not the apology that is ultimately the problem, its whether the class does the same again in the future.

Funinthesun15 · 03/02/2016 17:26

as i said, it could well be a result of the pressure from management, teachers are treated like machines

Management are also under a huge amount of pressure not just teachers.

Well done to your DH. Not many would have done the same.

ineedabodytransplant · 03/02/2016 17:27

my youngest daughter is a primary school teacher, loves her job but hates all the crap that goes along with it.

Me?I wouldn't last a day.

Zazedonia · 03/02/2016 17:30

Why is saying "Fuck you" such a big deal? Especially with Year 10s?!

CombineBananaFister · 03/02/2016 17:30

I really feel for the teacher and genuinely hope she hasn't messed up her career. Glad that you thought it was the children who should be bloody ashamed to bring an adult to do that and spoke to your Ds accordingly but I'll bet you're in the minority.
Based on my experience of volunteering in a primary school and some of the awful behaviour I witnessed by children and then their parents when they were disciplined I am surprised it doesn't happen lots more. To some of the parents, it was like a badge of honour if their kid managed to 'wind-up' the teacher to the point of distress. Sticking to the man rather than appreciating and making the most of our free education system Sad

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 03/02/2016 17:32

At one stage, I spent six lessons a week supervising an inclusion room. In theory, this was the last stage in the behaviour management system and students were sent with work to complete. In practice, they would arrange with one another to be sent out of class to meet up in this room. Invariably, there was no work sent with them and they were not going to respond to any requests to do the generic work provided in the room. The room was at the end of a corridor, with no other staff nearby, no means of contact, no phone etc.

There were spaces for about 25 students. Imagine 25 of the most disruptive, all together in one room ( on the first floor) with one small female member of staff. I had had six years experience prior to this as an advisory teacher for behaviour management, but I have never felt so vulnerable and alone as I did there.

tickory2 · 03/02/2016 17:32

I managed about 3 years of secondary teaching before quitting (nearly 20 years ago now). I came to the conclusion that being good at your subject doesn't matter nearly so much as being able to manage a classroom and for that my training was woefully inadequate/non-existant. One year post-grad then plunged straight into a poorly performing department, given the bottom set yr 11s, bottom set yr 9s. Nowhere to prepare stuff, mouldy classroom etc etc.!

So, feel quite sorry for this teacher.

HighwayDragon1 · 03/02/2016 17:33

I shouted at my year 9s once "will all just SHUT UP" and took myself outside for a moment. You could hear a bubble pop on my return, it happens, I feel for her I really do.

ThomasRichard · 03/02/2016 17:33

This happened once at my school when a teacher snapped and had to be restrained by another teacher from thumping a really horrible boy in my class who had been mocking him all year. He didn't come back but I hope your DS' teacher is given the support to return if she wants to.

SparkleSoiree · 03/02/2016 17:33

Blimey, my DS was a little toe rag in Yr10! Lost count of how often I was up at the school because of his behaviour. He used to drive me nuts at home so I can easily see how the teacher lost their cool. I went nuts with ONE Yr10, goodness knows how teachers manage nowadays with a whole class of them!

CornishDoll82 · 03/02/2016 17:34

I went to a posh private school and one of our teachers used to just sit and cry through the lessons...

Stumbletrip40 · 03/02/2016 17:36

i went to a very nice school and I still shudder at the general level of disrespect the boys showed to the teachers - shining lights on their bits, swearing, laughing at them. Stress is cumulative, she was likely on the verge of quitting in any case. Good for you - I agree I bet this won't be the common response.

Katedotness1963 · 03/02/2016 17:36

Poor woman!

Back when I as in primary school (about 43 years ago) we had a teacher come in who'd just finished her training. I think she was cover for someone taking time off. She was a very quiet young woman. First day she came in full of smiles, the boys in the class had actually planned to act up to see what they could get away with. Over the week she smiled less, talked less, shouted more and they acted worse. On the last day she started shouting and couldn't stop, a teacher came from another class and lead her away in tears. We never saw her again. Over the years I've often wondered what became of her.

I wouldn't be a teacher for love nor money!

ThomasRichard · 03/02/2016 17:38

Zazedonia if I did that at work - ll adults, thankfully! - I'd expect either a managed return or a dismissal, depending on the context.

Mistigri · 03/02/2016 17:38

Some students in my DD's class pushed a teacher to breaking point last year (Equivalent Y10). Teacher broke down and walked out. She was completely supported by parents and many of the students, and by the school, who suspended the ringleaders. She was able to return to teaching almost immediately, and the class behaved for the rest of the year.

Not in the UK though ... I suspect the OP's son's teacher has ended her career :(

Mouthfulofquiz · 03/02/2016 17:40

Poor teacher - but well done for getting your DS to apologise. I hope the school supports her and backs her up. We had similar stuff happen at my secondary school. Although this was in the 90's, the teachers did come back after a break.

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