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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to know how much of your pregnancy you put on Social Media?

109 replies

YouAreAWizardHarry · 01/02/2016 20:29

I'm posting here as I have a strong opinion on everything Grin but haven't ever given this any thought, and AIBU is full of strong opinions Grin

I am pregnant with DC1, and have seen a number of people mention they don't like scan pictures on FB - why?

I'm quite private on social media due to my job, but had though of putting one scan picture on, and then announcing the birth (no thousand statuses about pregnancy in between). Im also conscious of a particular friend struggling to conceive at the moment, but live over 100 miles from family so still want to share some.

How much did you share and why/why not?

OP posts:
imwithspud · 01/02/2016 22:16

There are a few people on my fb who didn't tell Facebook they were having a baby until the baby had arrived whilst others 'announced it' at some point, usually after the first scan.

cornishglos · 01/02/2016 22:21

Nothing. For the privacy of my child. What an invasion to show them to people before they can consent, when they are tiny, vulnerable and so so safe and secure. Putting an image of that on the WORLD WIDE web? I think that's mad.

Focusfocus · 01/02/2016 22:23

Nothing at all. Email did fine for personal contacts.

Bodicea · 01/02/2016 23:05

No scan pics ( but I am a sonographer and it isn't the done thing amongst sonographers to put own scan pics up) but did do a little announcement photo with by Ds, a couple of pics of me heavily pregnant ( not specific to pregnancy but bump was visible), and announcement of the birth and subsequent baby pics in hospital.

whatsoever · 01/02/2016 23:12

I don't like scan photos because I had a missed miscarriage discovered at a scan so I did find them quite upsetting - more so before I had DS, I just have mixed feelings now. I know a number of others struggling with infertility & miscarriages who feel similarly. Non scan picture pregnancy stuff doesn't make me feel like that at all.

Also, I just kind of find medical pictures of other people's bodies maybe a bit over-sharey? But it's entirely personal preference. I over share via the mediums of whinging & ranting on Twitter and Facebook most days!

whois · 01/02/2016 23:14

It's nice to see a scan photo, nice to see the occasional bump photo so you can see how your friend is progressing of not seen f2f. Nice to see the birth announcement and that both are doing well (hopefully).

No one wants to se constant updates about your morning sickness, hoe big you are, joe much you're loving/hating being pg, endless shots of nursery furniture and buggys etc

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 01/02/2016 23:25

I think I posted a few 'fed up with this pregnancy will it never end' type things and then some pics when they were a few days old. I didn't do scan pictures though because at the time I didn't have a phone that could take a decent enough picture let alone be able to put it on FB!

God get a grip cornish. People don't actually object to pictures of them in utero being seen by others unless they are completely unhinged.*

*Excepting of course those shared without consent when there are safeguarding concerns.

glueandstick · 01/02/2016 23:28

Nothing at all. A lot of distant friends don't even know we're having a baby.

cornishglos · 01/02/2016 23:33

Really? I just think each person should be able to choose how much of an online presence they have. We don't, we can't really control it. When you sign up to fb etc you have no idea who's going to tag/share/sell photos of you and how far they could spread. So I think we have duty to protect our kids.

PurpleTraitor · 01/02/2016 23:45

I don't do bump photos but I do actually have photos that I am in that are on Facebook (often outside of my control taken by others etc as well) and pregnancy does become fairly obvious after a while so I can't say I kept it 'off facebook'

It depends what you use FB for. With my first two pregnancies I posted absolutely zero nothing, Which turned out to be a good thing. By my third most of my FB friends had kids, so I posted a scan photo at 13 weeks and received many pleasant congratulations. I enjoyed it. Several weeks after that I had to un-announce that pregnancy so that was a hard lesson about over sharing. By my fourth pregnancy I was back to using FB a lot for work, so plus previous experiences I shared a hopeful status around viability then a happy to introduce pic of the baby's face after birth.

Can't say I planned it as such, I suggest just doing what feels right is fine.

Cirsium · 01/02/2016 23:45

12 week and 20 week scan pics and birth announcement once we were home from hospital (6 day neo natal stay for jaundice /low blood sugar). Monthly photos since she has been born, with occasional extra ones for significant events.

I had a MMC and then took over a year to conceive again before having DD so didn't want to bombard friends in similar situations with my pregnancy /baby. I also have family and friends around the world who I keep in touch with via Facebook so want to share some stuff.

honeysucklejasmine · 01/02/2016 23:54

Nothing at all. Although a friend did pop up a silly bump shot we did together on her page and tagged me, so I got a lot of shocked comments. Friend was mortified but I didn't mind at all. I just can't be arsed to make some twee announcement, and my DH isn't on FB.

I will post one photo after the birth (all being well) announcing details. But I don't want to turn in to a baby spammer.

midgwit · 02/02/2016 00:24

I wasn't going to put anything at all on, was just going to mention it after he was born as I don't post much on FB anyway, but both my sisters put my 20 week scan on and mentioned their future nephew. They did ask if they could to be fair, I said I wasn't bothered.
Then was in hospital for 4 days after having my son so hadn't put anything on FB; a woman I'd worked with texted on the second day to see if he'd been born (she knew I was being induced) and posted a congratulations on my wall, which led to various other people doing the same. Then because I still hadn't posted anything people started assuming something was wrong so I had questions about that too (nothing was wrong, was just waiting for a jaundice test which kept being pushed back). Still a bit annoyed about that actually.

katienana · 02/02/2016 08:30

I find those app updates "my baby is now an avocado" annoying. But scan pics status updates and birth announcements all fine. I haven't put scan pics on but have announced the pregnancy after the scan.
People get unnecessarily wound up with anything to do with pregnancy.
I live in a small flat and would dearly love to move, I don't get upset when I see photos of a new house or whatever. There would be nothing on Facebook if we always had to consider that someone somewhere might find it upsetting.

SparklyTinselTits · 02/02/2016 08:36

Half of my immediate family still live in Poland, and we use Facebook to keep up with each other, so I put lots of bump photos and updates on there. However, I changed the privacy on my pregnancy-related posts so only those specific people saw them, and not Jane from HR at work Hmm

PennyHasNoSurname · 02/02/2016 08:43

Didnt announce pg1 - however we told everyone at our wedding so no need for further announcements
dc1 announced pg2 on our fb pages

No scan photos - it just felt a tad odd showing a photography of the inside of me Grin

Just the odd general moan or comment about needing someone to help me put my socks on, or the man who waited impatiently while I refilled my tires with air innthe snow with a nine month bump.

Announced both births on fb about 6/8 hours after the fact, and after all close friends and family had been told.

I post regular photos or snippets of our family life (maybe something every other day)

I really dont mind what others share apart from those "my pregnancy at week X" fact pages - at an age when everyone around me is getting pregnant they take up most of my feed so I hide those people until the birth

Muskateersmummy · 02/02/2016 08:49

I didn't share many bumps and scans on my fb, because I had fertility issues, and had friends who were having some of the same issues so out of sensitivity to them, I kept the pregnancy stuff to a minimum.

fusionconfusion · 02/02/2016 08:50

For my first one, I shared a scan picture at the beginning and then a few bump pictures - maybe five in total over the pregnancy and they weren't specifically bump pictures as such e.g. pictures of me vs pictures of a naked belly! For my second, a bump picture the day before he was born. For my third, nothing.

In between my first and my third I knew a lot more people affected by infertility and began to realise how common pregnancy loss and infertility are so my perspective changd.

soundsystem · 02/02/2016 08:58

I use social media a lot but didn't post scan pics. I just thought sharing a picture of my insides was a bit much! Doesn't bother me at all when others do.

We did post a pic/announcement when she was born and a few people were like "hang on, have you had a baby?".

I didn't post bump pics but there were pics posted of me with a bump, at birthday parties or other things where I was obviously pregnant, but they weren't posted as "look, I'm pregnant" if that makes sense

mrsnec · 02/02/2016 09:02

I added my pregnancy to one of those life events and then posted a scan pic at 26 weeks. Only put pics of myself on because we had a few celebrations for dds first birthday.

I had fertility problems too and have been upset in the past about oversharing and likewise I know I have been blocked this time by my sil because of it but I live abroad and there were other people that wanted to see it. I post pictures of dd less than once a month and only ever a couple at a time.

sootica · 02/02/2016 09:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsnec · 02/02/2016 09:04

Forgot to mention too that I have a lot of family not on social media. I always make sure they see pics and know news before I post anything on fb.

Plantpot83 · 02/02/2016 09:21

I didn't put anything up (only use FB) apart from an announcement a few weeks after DD was born - no DoB, weight etc though just name and pics. I now put the occasional pic up of DD/let others put pics up but that's it.

I wouldn't put a scan picture up because I think that it's very intimate. I also find it a bit odd when people put pics of the baby having just been born, in the delivery room etc. I think that it depends on what type of friends you have on FB. I have hundreds of 'friends' but they're often people I've only met a couple of times, people I went to university with years ago etc. and I don't feel comfortable posting really personal things. If people asked to see scan pics in RL I showed them. However if you're someone who restricts your FB and actually knows everyone on there then it's a bit different.

But yes honestly, people get sick of pregnancy posts!

mackinnonka · 02/02/2016 09:22

I don't mind seeing other people's scan pictures on social media, how people choose to announce is up to them and if its someone I actually know well I always make a point of contacting them 'offline' to congratulate etc if I didn't already know.

We are expecting DC1 and have not posted an 'announcement' on Facebook. We decided to tell people face to face as and when we see them, I guess eventually it will get out or something will be said on social media that makes it obvious.

What's interesting to me is the people we have told face to face or by phone have then gone on to ask when the 'big announcement' is...like its not really true/happening if its not on social media for everyone else to see... Confused

Stepawayfromthezebras · 02/02/2016 09:47

I put a status with a picture up when DD was born but nothing else.

I had fertility problems and have a few friends struggling with ivf at the moment so even if I'd felt any desire to put scan pictures up wouldn't have done so. I don't think there's anything wrong with putting them up but they used to upset me so it would have been hypocritical to then put them up myself.