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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To have said nothing when my friend was making a bad investment?

36 replies

livingintheNL · 01/02/2016 20:25

My friend invested in something a while ago, I was 95% sure it was a terrible idea. I just bit my lip and said nothing, she didn't ever really ask me what I thought of it so didn't want to just break into bad news.

9 months later, its been an awful decision, virtually has written off all she has earnt in 9 months and is pretty upset.

I'm starting to feel a bit guilty, I was pretty sure it was a bad idea, but said nothing. Should i feel guilty?

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 01/02/2016 20:27

No. She didn't ask. She's an adult.

Arfarfanarf · 01/02/2016 20:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VoldysGoneMouldy · 01/02/2016 20:29

Juice Plus, Forever Living or Younique?

fuzzpig · 01/02/2016 20:30

Was it Juice Plus or Forever Living?

fuzzpig · 01/02/2016 20:31

Ha Voldy xpost.

Seriously though OP YWNBU she probably wouldn't have listened anyway.

Original poster

livingintheNL · 01/02/2016 20:32

Ha it wasn't any of those, but wasn't far off.

Younique? wtf there is something called that? sounds awful

OP posts:

CaptainCrunch · 01/02/2016 20:32

There's no such thing as a sure fire investment so even if you thought it was a great idea and encouraged her it could still go horribly wrong.

redexpat · 01/02/2016 20:35

Oh the make up. A fb friend has just started with them. The products actually look quite nice. Can you tell us in more detail what went wrong?

Original poster

livingintheNL · 01/02/2016 20:38

Well it was a bit more unique than some of the other spam selling ones, but she bought an exclusive licence for a product that was very 90s with other products in the market place that are already better know, better ingredients and look / taste much better. I'm talking about over 30k down so far.

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 01/02/2016 20:41

I don't think you acted as a friend. You could have at least talked it through with her and told her your opinion.

Arfarfanarf · 01/02/2016 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Devilishpyjamas · 01/02/2016 20:42

30k????? Not on an MLM surely?

Original poster

livingintheNL · 01/02/2016 20:44

THats how i'm feeling IB. I gave her no opion either way just "You've got to do what feels right for you" was kinda hinting that its a terrible idea. But she either didn't pickup or didnt want to hear it.

Not network selling, she had the exclusive licence for a product in the UK.

OP posts:

MrsRobbStark · 01/02/2016 20:49

I don't think YWBU tbh but obviously it depends what kind of person she is if that makes sense?

Like for instance if I was in your position and it was my sister in your friends position I probably wouldn't have given her a negative opinion because she wouldn't have liked it and got the hump with me because that's how she is. If it had been one of my best friends I would have told them straight but left if to them to decide because I know they wouldn't jump down my throat.

CaptainCrunch · 01/02/2016 20:51

Her opinion wasn't sought imperial. If the op posted "my friend is about to make a very poor investment, should I tell her she shouldn't" there'd be loads of "YABU mind your own business" posts.

Orange1969 · 01/02/2016 20:55

Well, a fool and her money are easily parted.

£30,000 is so much money to risk. I don't think she would have listened to you anyway.

VoldysGoneMouldy · 01/02/2016 20:55

30K? Fucking hell.

I don't think you can vlame yourself for this. You're her friend, not her business adviser.

DinosaursRoar · 01/02/2016 21:00

£30k is a lot, that's not like someone paying out £200 for one of those Forever Living starter selling kits then finding there's no market. Someone investing £30k should have done their research first, and I might just assume they knew more about it than me... Someone prepared to pay out that much without doing basic research isn't going to listen to sense anyway.

LeaLeander · 01/02/2016 21:00

I have a background in consumer/personal finance and used to feel terribly concerned when family, friends and acquaintances would mention ill-advised things they were getting involved in, from auto loans with horrible terms to MLM schemes to investment products to paying inflated prices for vocational courses that weren't likely to lead to jobs.

I'd earnestly try to educate them, being as diplomatic as possible, and 99 times out of 100 they would close their ears & forge ahead with the bad choices. Once people talk themselves into something, no matter how deluded they are, they don't want to hear about it.

These days unless I am directly asked my opinion of a financial decision, I stay out of it. And I've stopped worrying about others or getting a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach on their behalf. Not my circus, as the expression goes. No longer going to spend my life energy worrying about things I can't control.

It's too bad about your friend but highly unlikely a word from you would have made any difference. Most people have to learn the hard way.

3WiseWomen · 01/02/2016 21:03

I would have said something if that was a good friend (not an acquaintance).

I would have told her at least, that with that level of investment, she really needed to get some advice from an accountant/business advisor to go through numbers etc...
And I would also have told her that it didn't look like a sound investment to me but it really was up to her.

There are plenty of ways to say that wo being jusdgemental/looking like you are jealous/putting her down etc...

Sorry but at your place, Iwould also feel very guilty :(:(

lorelei9 · 01/02/2016 21:11

Id have spoken up
I'm not a fan of interfering but where money is concerned, it's just too important to keep quiet

Hopefully she understands never to do this again though

Casmama · 01/02/2016 21:29

Ok to reframe this, and not to be unkind, it's actually a bit self indulgent of you to be sitting thinking "If only I had shared my great insight with her"

She didn't value your opinion enough to ask you for it so probably wouldn't have taken it on board if you had offered it. The chance of your opinion having saved her £30k is minimal.

Dont feel guilty.

LeaLeander · 01/02/2016 21:33

Exactly, Casmama. If she didn't ask for your opinion, she would not have heeded unsolicited advice. Nothing to feel guilty about.

manicinsomniac · 01/02/2016 21:40

I think it depends.

If you are knowledgeable about business and finance and still said nothing, I think you should feel a bit guilty and could have tried to give her a heads up as a professional.

But if it was just a case of one clueless opinion vs another clueless opinion then you weren't being unreasonable to say nothing. Things could have gone either way and, if you had spoken up and she'd been a success, you'd feel bad then too.

AcrossthePond55 · 01/02/2016 21:40

I probably would have said something to a friend if I thought they were making a bad investment. They probably wouldn't have listened to me, but at least when/if it went belly up, I wouldn't have felt guilty for not saying anything.

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