I'm just sat here crying, what could've been. I just want some friends, a loving partner and children. I've been a hermit for half of my life (I'm 25) and I just don't seem to fit in anywhere. I'm quiet and odd. I dislike men, have had years of therapy. I have a dysfunctional family and i'm highly likely to be barren.
All of my peers are now settling into good careers or have had children, got married. It's all I want and it hurts like fuck to not have a single friend to talk to or go for coffee with.
I spent all of my teens as a hermit, taking overdoses and wishing I was dead. I've forced myself to try to change things and can now catch the bus into town to go to the anxiety coffee group with other women. I was hoping I could make a good friend but we don't have much in common as the women there are old enough to be my mum. I have text one of them but not heard back.
I feel like my life is some sort of shit joke and I'm constantly faced with obstacles every step of the way. I've realised that even if I get better, I will still be at a disadvantage when applying for things like jobs - as I've never had one and have fuck all to put on my CV. Employers will ask what I've been doing since leaving school at 16 and I won't be able to answer them.
I don't want to try anymore, i'll have to find a way to be content with my life as it is because I just can't deal with all of the disappointment of life.
Life is all about luck and I don't have any