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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

in thinking that just because you have been on mn for ever

365 replies

Samcro · 31/01/2016 22:53

that doesn't make you a bad person.
MN for as long as I have been on here has had a oldie v newbie thing going
who really cares. some people post a lot, some don't.
but if you do post a lot (cos like me you might be stuck in a shite carer role) and you make "friends" with people on mn....you get slated.
all this royalty/oldie stuff is a yawn feast.... but in the 10 years I have been one here.....it still goes on.
isn't it time we all moved on?

OP posts:

EponasWildDaughter · 01/02/2016 12:54

I'm not on FB (neither is DH, to the annoyance of just about everyone we know) and i think of MN as my version of it.

Pop on daily, see what's going on, who's saying what, bung on a post or two. I feel grounded once i've been over AIBU and maybe a quick visit to Chat.

I've been here 8 years. Only name changed once, about a year ago.

It's nice when someone agrees with me occasionally, that's about as rock an' roll as it gets for me here

bumbleymummy · 01/02/2016 13:00

Fair enough Sparkling. I know that some of my opinions are pretty unpopular on MN so I don't expect everyone to agree with them - regardless of whether I change my name or not! I just think it's a bit daft when someone will refuse to agree with you on something completely different or, as MrsJayy said, drags up your posts from an old, unrelated thread. There are only a small group of posters who seem to do that though.

WorraLiberty · 01/02/2016 13:02

I think that's the thing.

Judging by the sheer volume of threads about Facebook, it seems a lot of MNetters divide their time between here and there.

Personally, I just can't get into FB/Twitter/Pinterest etc.

Sparklingbrook · 01/02/2016 13:03

Me neither Worra. I am not on social media at all.

PiperChapstick · 01/02/2016 13:07

I rarely notice the oldie v newbie thing and I'm an oldie. However I do feel sorry for newbies as MN is über-liberal and PC (sorry I hate that term but don't know how else to put it) and when a newbie comes along who isn't uber-liberal and PC they can often get torn to shreds in a matter of seconds - in the meantime missing the point of the thread!

An awful example was a woman who in her OP used the term "monged out on the sofa" - now I have heard this many times but don't like the word, and various posters quite rightly said she shouldn't use words like 'monged'. About 20 posts on the OP came back and said "sorry I wasn't thinking but thank you for correcting me I won't use this from now on, I'm sorry if I offended anyone" (she wasn't being sarcastic btw). 15 pages later there were still people calling her all sorts and there was a virtual lunch mob out for her.

I think some people need to be calmer when talking with newbies and not expect them to know the unspoken rules of MN (which is NOT like real life, as is nowhere on the Internet) the second they join!

PurpleDaisies · 01/02/2016 13:11

About 20 posts on the OP came back and said "sorry I wasn't thinking but thank you for correcting me I won't use this from now on, I'm sorry if I offended anyone" (she wasn't being sarcastic btw). 15 pages later there were still people calling her all sorts and there was a virtual lunch mob out for her.

I remember that thread. The problem was new posters not reading the thread and seeing that the op had already apologised. Happens far too often! I saw one where the op was asking for advice about how often to bathe her kids. She'd had great advice, made a plan and seemed really positive. Still people kept piling on telling her she was a terrible mother based on her op.

Sparklingbrook · 01/02/2016 13:16

RTFT is a weird one. Some people just post 'I haven't read the thread but.... then impart their words of wisdom. I always wonder how that helps at all.

From previous threads i know that lots of posters think it's only necessary to just read the OP's posts before commenting.

I think there's a massive chance of looking an arse if you don't RTFT. but maybe people don't care.

PurpleDaisies · 01/02/2016 13:20

Some people just post 'I haven't read the thread but.... then impart their words of wisdom. I always wonder how that helps at all.

Me too! On a very long thread it takes a fair degree of arrogance to think you'll come up with some pearl of wisdom that no one's suggested yet in 20 pages worth of posts.

Sparklingbrook · 01/02/2016 13:22

I can only imagine if they are confident enough to do it they really don't care Purple.

They would say they haven't got time to read pages of posts probably and accuse anyone that did of being a saddo with too much time on their hands.

PurpleDaisies · 01/02/2016 13:23

I think you are spot on there sparkling

FarrowandBallAche · 01/02/2016 13:26

Often there's enough info in the first post to actually read that and not the other 897 posts ( that say exactly what you're about to say ) unless the OP then spectacularly drip feeds rtft is not always necessary.

DotForShort · 01/02/2016 13:28

I do think that sometimes clueless newbies are treated rather horribly. BTW, "lunch mob" is a wonderful autocorrect.

I have mixed feelings about the name-change option. I have used it myself a few times, though I tend to choose a name I like and stick with it for a fairly long time. But MN would probably be better off without that option. Certainly it just seems to encourage the rampant trolls.

The accusations of "royalty" are generally unfair, though there are a few posters who seem to be treated with kid gloves. I have sometimes wanted to challenge some well-known individuals on a given thread but I know that a crowd of supporters will pop up to aggressively back them up. So I generally don't bother, just roll my eyes and move on. But there are also some well-known and prolific posters whose posts I love and look forward to. Is a puzzlement, as the King of Siam liked to say.

Sparklingbrook · 01/02/2016 13:28

But you have no idea what has happened on the last 897 posts Farrow. OP totally changed their mind, and loads of suggestions made by other posters some may be identical to what you are about to post.

If I haven't got time to read I don't post.

FarrowandBallAche · 01/02/2016 13:31

But by the time you've read it all it will have changed again before you post!

Sparklingbrook · 01/02/2016 13:31

You just keep reading. Then post. Or hide the thread.

ricketytickety · 01/02/2016 13:32

I've namechanged a few times but I have anxiety issues + weirdo ex + family issues so get paranoid! I like to remain totally anon. Is only the internets.

DotForShort · 01/02/2016 13:32

Oh, God, yes. The posts that say, "I haven't read the thread but have you ever thought of XYZ?" Why do people do this? Don't they realise that if a brilliant suggestion has occurred to them, it has probably occurred to someone else on the thread already? Why are people so eager to jump into a thread (which is basically a type of discussion) without "listening" to the other participants?

PiperChapstick · 01/02/2016 13:33

Oh dear I meant lynch mob!

Although I quite like the idea of a lunch mob!

bumbleymummy · 01/02/2016 13:33

"The accusations of "royalty" are generally unfair, though there are a few posters who seem to be treated with kid gloves. I have sometimes wanted to challenge some well-known individuals on a given thread but I know that a crowd of supporters will pop up to aggressively back them up."

Yes to this! Some posters seem to get away with saying things that anyone else would get reported/suspended for.

PurpleDaisies · 01/02/2016 13:34

Could we start a lunch mob now? I'm starving (despite having eaten lunch...)

ricketytickety · 01/02/2016 13:35

I've also just learnt how to customise so I can see the op's posts in a different colour. Helps not to say something and not realise they've thought about that already.

Sparklingbrook · 01/02/2016 13:36

I haven't got a problem with name changing but think it should be restricted a bit more. Don't think they can go back on it now it'e there though. AFAIk namechanging is not allowed on Gransnet.

I think the 'I haven't read the thread but' is stated so that nobody can say 'someone said what you suggested at the start of the thread you doughnut'. It's a disclaimer.

MrsJayy · 01/02/2016 13:36

I awwed at lunch mob it sounds lovely. Thing is we have all been newbies and survived I have never experienced any newbie suspicion

Sparklingbrook · 01/02/2016 13:37

I am off out shortly I need to think about lunch.

About two weeks after I joined MN I got a PM asking who I used to be.

ricketytickety · 01/02/2016 13:38

I've found advice invaluable and life changing for me and don't care if it comes from an oldie or a newbie.

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