Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that a toyshop shouldn't change the fur they make their bear with?

113 replies

DachsandPup · 31/01/2016 15:54

DD2 has an attachment to a particular bear only sold in one shop. There have been various replacements over the last 2 years and we've always had at least one bear in reserve because she NEEDS her bear.

Last night she was sick all over said item and we had to deploy the last replacement we had in the house. Went to get some replacement bears to refill the stash - AND THEY'VE CHANGED THE FUR THEY MAKE THE BEAR WITH!!!

I offered her the new bear, having sneakily removed the existing one (we swap them around regularly so they all age at roughly the same rate) and for the first time ever she realised straight away and rejected the bear.

AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH - what do i do now?

Please confirm that I'm not being unreasonable to want to hunt down whoever thought changing the bear's characteristics so much that even a 2 year old can tell the difference and drag them along to my house next time we need a replacement bear so they can see the impact their decision has had on a poor little innocent bear addict. Or alternatively suggest some other fitting punishment for them!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
OddBoots · 31/01/2016 17:07

Maybe it is time for bear to be a bedtime toy only?

DrFoxtrot · 31/01/2016 17:08

You sound a bit like my sister OP, quickly changing the bear before DD noticed he was a bit pink. It sounds more exhausting than it should. I agree with others that a bears wear and tear tells a story.

poocatcherchampion · 31/01/2016 17:09

Yes we have a few on rotation, but yabu to buy a new every time it becomes slightly imperfect.

Dd1 says now "ooh this one fell in my gravy (etc) can I have another one please.."

PinkPopPonyTrotsOn · 31/01/2016 17:11

Its all the angst though - doesn't seem that light hearted to stress so much.
DC had precious toys which they slept with only.
So much easier and they actually liked that they smelt nice and clean when washed.

PitilessYank · 31/01/2016 17:11

I would have the soiled bear dry-cleaned. Our cleaner does toys...

fastdaytears · 31/01/2016 17:12

Surely the fur would feel different even if the shop hadn't changed their bear recipe as the new bear would be new and unsnuggled?

How is the washing going?

Original poster
DachsandPup · 31/01/2016 17:13

bear is now a bedtime toy only or if there is a scary new situation. he didn't leave the house after she was about 15 months but then our nanny got sick and we had to send her to nursery for a few weeks instead and she needed bear so she had something familiar in the scary new environment. and then they lost him! unfortunately the sick incident was last night :(

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 31/01/2016 17:20

Can I just check, genuinely being serious about thinking it unreasonable them to have changed the bear's style?

QueryQuery · 31/01/2016 17:20

I was told, although I don't know if it's true, that they all say wipe clean only as washing removes the fire retardant stuff. I always wash them.

Original poster
DachsandPup · 31/01/2016 17:22

can i put the bear in the tumble dryer or does he need to dry slowly on a radiator?

OP posts:
Original poster
DachsandPup · 31/01/2016 17:26

paulankathedog

i don't think they need to sell the same bear forever just in case a child needs a replacement

i'm not necessarily 100% serious about being grumpy about changing the bear's style but usually if you're going to change something quite a lot you give it a different model name or version name

if i'd ordered replacement bear on the internet instead of going into the store i wouldn't have known that the bear was different because i'd have ordered the same model name. if you order something with the same name, you expect it to be the same. look at all the trouble with creme eggs and quality street tin sizing!

OP posts:
SpaceDinosaur · 31/01/2016 17:29

Nursery
Coat dyed
Holiday lost
Vomit

Avoidable, honestly? 3 of those 4
Nursery bear is probably still at nursery. It won't be the only precious toy they've ever had. I find it hard to believe it's not there or they tried hard enough to find it.

Did you not sew or write her name on?

Coat dyed?
Par the course for toys. Machine wash, move on. Favourite toys never look perfect.

Holiday lost?
Well, you'll not do that again. Pretty poor show loosing it but not the only person in the world to do so.
Taking a spare on holiday highly unusual. Were you anticipating a problem?

Like PPs I only had one precious toy.
She was washable. Most toys were.
When I vomited on her or gave her a mud bath she went in the machine and I had a different toy. I hated "different toy" but I knew different toy was because my bear was in the wash and I dealt with that. I had my bear from 1.
I didn't accept alternatives either. You just know!!!

DH also still has his bear. Same story.

Wash coat bear and puke bear.

dementedpixie · 31/01/2016 17:31

I don't have a tumble drier so mine dried on the radiator

Coldlightofday · 31/01/2016 17:31

Sheepy prefers to radiator dry, or swing on the line in the summer.

But I think tumble dryers are enormous power hungry beasts that make my house smell funny.

Grin
Original poster
DachsandPup · 31/01/2016 17:32

bear wash attempt 1 has finished: vombear appears clean. pinkbear appears to have lost his unexpected fur dye. i just hope operation dry bear is as successful :) i can wash toys! thank you again MN. definitely learned something today. it almost makes up for staying up all night with a vomming two year old!

OP posts:
PinkPopPonyTrotsOn · 31/01/2016 17:35

" Scary new situation"
Op do you have anxiety ??
I would be a bit hmm if this is how you describe everyday life to your DCs tbh.

JeffVaderneedsatray · 31/01/2016 17:39

DS had a Humphrey toy from birth and I foolishly didn't buy a spare so got one in different clothing and DS had Bedtime Humphrey and Going Out Humphrey.

DD was given a monkey before birth and I did source a spare as it lived in my bed before she was born and was in her crib right from the word go. It has become a much loved (and washed) favourite. However, when she was about 18 months old she found the spare and adopted it..... So now she has two monkeys. The original, called Monkey 1, is so threadbare I don't dare wash her but instead have to let her have a 'spa day' in a bowl of biotex!

I did try to source a third but Mothercare changed the design totally and it's was too late by about 3 anyway as the love had all been worn in for Monkeys 1 and 2.

BigDamnHero · 31/01/2016 17:42

I see you've washed Vom-Bear now and I haven't RTFT so this may have been suggested but you could try eBay for the original bear if you feel you need another replacement?

As soon as DS2 showed a clear preference for one toy I tried to buy another 'just in case' (after some awful moments of thinking my autistic sister had lost her favourite bunny as a child - which would have literally meant days of wailing). They'd only gone and discontinued the dog DS2 loved so much but a quick search on eBay found a few good as new ones. We got a replacement and have been switching them about since (I dread the day DS2 notices - he also appears to have ASD and I think that would be one BIG meltdown...or many meltdowns).

TaraCarter · 31/01/2016 17:42

It's quite possible that the fabric supplier (that the toy manufacturer uses) no longer produces that fabric.

Buying fabric is like buying paint; you're subject to variations in dye and discontinuations, whether you're a big company or a private individual who likes to sew.

Does that make you feel better, OP?

Original poster
DachsandPup · 31/01/2016 17:43

i don't describe situations to them like that pink

but going somewhere you've never been before when you're a naturally shy tiny person is a scary new situation. her big sister had a ball at nursery. her big sister never had a comfort toy. her big sister is a completely different person who was scared of going on big slides that DD2 is raring to go on.

it's not projection of personal issues, it's recognition of what my child finds challenging. no, i don't stand there making her more anxious, i hand her over the the nursery workers and give her a kiss goodbye. i never fail to be positive and cheery.

just because i recognise that a situation is scary for her doesn't mean i have anxiety.

jumping from a small child going to nursery at the last minute which is an unfamiliar environment because emergency childcare was needed because her usual carer was in hospital and needing her bear as a familiar figure to me obviously having anxiety issues is a jump that could only happen on MN!

OP posts:
Original poster
DachsandPup · 31/01/2016 17:48

jeffvader

i now have visions of a monkey in a hot tub sipping a drink having had a facial

OP posts:
PinkPopPonyTrotsOn · 31/01/2016 17:48

Im only going on what you have posted on here !
Buying 4 bears so that your DD doesn't get upset seems a bit OTT to me and so asking if you have anxiety was a genuine question.Confused

ClaudiaApfelstrudel · 31/01/2016 17:50

you might just have to grin and 'bear' it :D

NorksAreMessy · 31/01/2016 17:56

I sort of love you OP.

Prepared for all bear-related emergencies.
Prepared to try new bear-maintenance protocols.
Happy to ask for bear-related anecdote
Calm in the face of provocation by posters who have perfect lives and would never lose a bear.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 31/01/2016 17:56

I'm between camps - i didn't have a spare, DS2 lost his kitten at CP when he was about 3. he understood it was lost, he was upset and I called CP to see if we could get it back. No joy. I sourced one the same on ebay and he loved the new one - he knew it was a new one though and also knew he had to be careful with it as there were no more left.

I wouldn't have tried to get another, it's a bit of a life lesson.