Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To eat Chocolate in front of DH when he is on a GP imposed Diet

111 replies

Oldsu · 31/01/2016 11:36

Just eaten a whole bar of Cadburys Fruit and Nut, DH is whimpering and giving me the big eyed treatment, but not sharing with him his GP has him on a diet for a reason.

DH says I am cruel and wicked and that I don't love him and is sulking.

So am I being unreasonable??? I am not on a diet.

OP posts:

FlatOnTheHill · 31/01/2016 15:39

Sole
Drugs and alcohol are a much more severe example.
The OP does not need to loose weight so totally different. She can have choccy.

BertrandRussell · 31/01/2016 15:40

"The OP should eqt what she likes in front if him. He has the problem not her. He is,grown up enough to handle it."

So no need for support or kindness? Would you say the same if he was trying to give up cigarettes or was an alcoholic?

Sirzy · 31/01/2016 15:41

An addiction is an addiction whether that is to food, drugs or whatever. Not nice to be openly unsupportive of someone's efforts to change.

FlatOnTheHill · 31/01/2016 15:42

Worra
I agree you must support your partner. But the OP is entitled to eat what she likes. Not sure how this chap feels about it. OP what does he,think?

PrincessMouse · 31/01/2016 15:42

YABU. That's a horrible thing to do. You sound like you are actually enjoying torturing him.

PurpleDaisies · 31/01/2016 15:43

I agree you must support your partner. But the OP is entitled to eat what she likes. Not sure how this chap feels about it. OP what does he,think?

Didn't you read the op? The partner said he thought she was being cruel, and I agree. How is eating junk food in front of him being supportive?

FlatOnTheHill · 31/01/2016 15:45

We are talking food here not fags and booze.
Yes kindness and support is what one should do.
Just because the OP decides to have some choc does not make her unkind.
Same if u r with a friend in a restaurant who is on a diet. She may decline,the cake but im sure she would not expect you to.

FlatOnTheHill · 31/01/2016 15:49

Purple
Hardly cruel is it? If he cant handle the fact she can eat what she likes and he cant without calling the OP cruel then he needs to grow up. Im sorry but we are talking food here. Not drugs. Feel sorry for the OP

TheCatsMeow · 31/01/2016 15:50

People can have food addictions flat.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 31/01/2016 15:51

We are talking food here not fags and booze.

People can and do die from diet/obesity related conditions.

And arguably these conditions are harder to regulate because one can go cold turkey on booze/fags but you can't give up eating.

Sirzy · 31/01/2016 15:51

So flat someone smoking in front of someone who is giving up smoking would that be ok?

In a restaurant or cafe is different to in your own home. He should be able to relax in his own home without being taunted by someone who supposedly loves him who seems to find his struggle amusing.

TheCatsMeow · 31/01/2016 15:52

Also it's not nice to say "you're an adult deal with it". Adults still need support!

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 31/01/2016 15:56

A friend who is dieting and meets you in a restaurant for lunch can decide whether or not to accept the invitation.

Someone doesn't really have the same choice whether to sit on their own sofa or not. Yes they could leave the room but by then they've seen the chocolate and will be thinking about it.

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 31/01/2016 15:57

I'm on a no carb diet and Dh is baking bread for the third time this week. I could rip his head off to be honest!

PurpleDaisies · 31/01/2016 15:59

If he cant handle the fact she can eat what she likes and he cant without calling the OP cruel then he needs to grow up. Im sorry but we are talking food here. Not drugs. Feel sorry for the OP

Have you every been on a diet? Ever met anyone that's struggled to eat the right thing?

Food addictions can be just as difficult to deal with as problems with drugs, cigarettes and alcohol because you can't abstain from eating.

If you care about someone, why on earth would you deliberately make things more difficult for them?

peggyundercrackers · 31/01/2016 16:04

no one knows what kind of "diet" the person is on so to go on about addictions is pretty pointless as you are just surmising what may be wrong with the person - is it an exclusion diet because he may be allergic to something? is it because they need to loose weight? is it because the person is a diabetic?

I wonder what the person will do when they go to Tesco and see all these shelves filled with chocolate? 1 person eating a bar of chocolate in front of them isn't the end of the world.

Kewcumber · 31/01/2016 16:11

I wouldn't drink in front of someone I loved if they were trying to give up alcohol nor smoke in front of them if they were trying to give up smoking nor would I do it if they were pregnant.

But as others point out you can let him stand or fall on his own. I didn;t think thats was being with a partner was about but then I'm single so what do I know.

Apparently that some people are unsupportive is the green light for all of us to be.

Peppatina · 31/01/2016 16:13

I think it can be compared to other addictions.

In the past I've been addicted to hard drugs, cigarettes and food.

The food addiction is the only one which is still an ongoing struggle.

Going out to night clubs and seeing drug use, seeing people smoke in public or sitting with friends and going for the fruit salad while they munch on gateaux was hard at first but doable. I knew I'd be faced with temptations when going out. I could prepare for it.

Having an ex partner light up/ chop a line/ munching a dominoes next to me, in my own house where I hoped for a break from temptations for just a little while, was incredibly difficult and yes I feel cruel.

FlatOnTheHill · 31/01/2016 16:14

Sirzy
I gave up smoking. Was really really hard for me. Yet my ex husband continued to smoke. I never had a problem with it although it did make it harder.
I would have never expected him to change his habit because of me.

Kewcumber · 31/01/2016 16:42

Whether it is an addiction or not is moot point. Who cares. You're deliberately doing something you know your DH finds hard to deal with and you don;t care (apparently quite a lot of people feel the same) - but why would you do that? It isn't difficult to eat it out of his sight - unless you're about to say you live in a bedsit.

FLat would you have thought more of your ex DH if he had not smoked in front of you?

I would.

I undestand that I'm an adult and I make my own choices - but I'm touched and appreciative of others who try to help me along with those choices rather than making it harder.

FlatOnTheHill · 31/01/2016 16:54

Kewcumber
I would not have thought more of him NO.
I would never of expected him to change what he enjoyed because Of me.
For me to have expected him to do that would have been very selfish on my part.

KinkyAfro · 31/01/2016 16:59

I'm also on a diet, DP scoffed his way through a large galaxy bar, a small box of lindor, a bag of randoms and a large bag of Doritos after tea last night. I couldn't give a shit, he's not a diet so shouldn't have to not eat because I am

Kewcumber · 31/01/2016 20:37

I would never of expected him to change

I'm not talking about what you expect of others but what they do because they love you. I personally would think more of someone for not rubbing my nose in something I'm not allowed for any reason. It's not an expectation - just an observation. I'm obviously in the minority. In the same way I would prefer not to make my partners life tougher by eating/drinking something in front of them that they really want.

I wouldn't expect my partner to give up something they don't need to but I'd be very appreciative if they voluntarily decided to keep away from me when they we having some.

FlatOnTheHill · 31/01/2016 21:20

Kewcumber
It never bothered me that he continued to smoke. He liked it so why should he change his habit and not smoke around me just because I was giving up.

I never made it an issue so why would he change what he was doing?
Im not one to dictate because it no longer suits me. Finding inner strength to deal with my addiction was my problem and no one else's. We were both out at work all day so it was only few evening a week we were at home together. We both socialised a lot with our jobs in London. Weekends we were together with smoker friends. I had to be strong. Used to stink of fags but no longer smoked

starry0ne · 31/01/2016 21:27

I had an Ex like this as soon as I went on a diet..He started craving chocolate...

Yes no one is asking you to eat lettuce but I think you could be far more supportive

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread