To just stop bothering?

[Flamingoblue1]

Hello all. I was due to meet a mate for Sunday lunch today but she was vague about it so I thought sod it. Found out last night she went out with some friends for a night out. I used to work with this woman and the girls she went out with. I have now left but were all still in touch and another woman who has left was there! I'm pisssed off I wasn't invited and everything seems one way: the woman in question came to the whole day of my wedding and is friends with my DH aswell. The others came to the night and will attend parties etc and message me alot but can't be arsed with my company on a night out. I just think forget it

Anyone?

This is why I have few friends.
I really can't be bothered.
People suck.

It seems they can only be bothered if I'm footing the bill

I can count on one hand with fingers left over, how many true friends I have in RL. Too many people are twats who just let you down I find though it might just be me

Well that does suck.
You are better off with your own company than with leeches.

Maybe they have good reason not to invite you. A negative attitude perhaps?

I don't have a negative attitude. It has dawned on me how little I mean so yes at present I appear negative that's not who I am

Well you thought 'sod it' about your lunch date. So you bailed on her really.

She sounds like a fair-weather friend. Some people aren't worth investing your time in, especially when they don't reciprocate.

Nishky this was when she was being vague so I thought I'm not running around after her which I think is fair enough. I realise she was being vague as she'd planned to go out last night hence wanted to cancel today but didn't want to say outright

Are you sure though-I am speaking from experience here-in the summer I was very upset when one by one a group cancelled a night out I had planned.

We all meet occasionally for various reasons and had a night out before Christmas which was fabulous.

I am glad I stuck with it rather than deffing them all off.

Maybe it is that Nishky but it has happened once before. I'm not going to bring it up with them I'll just ride it out and think that's life!

You sound defensive, and not willing to actually talk to your friends, but complain abuot them to others instead. That adds up to pretty negative about them. Its not out of the realm of possibility that they get that impression from you?

What she was doing the previous night is irrelevant - the fact that she has a lunch date with you doesn't mean she can't go out with others the night before.

So it really come down to what 'being vague' means - was she not replying to you or something? If she was just saying that she wasn't sure what time she'd be able to do, and you weren't having any of that, well that's your prerogative but it doesn't mean that she's done anything wrong.

What I mean is I felt she was being vague regarding plans today as she knew she would be hungover. Anyway I've forgotten it already it's over and done with so I'll move on

Hmm but I think it makes a difference in what way she was actually being vague. if she was saying she might meet you or might not Yanbu. if she was saying she wasn't sure what time she'd make it because of hangover, that's annoying but not awful imo.

My sympathies, it us rubbish to find out about events you are not invited to. Go and do something else you want to do, see a different friend or something. See if they invite you to stuff in future, but yes I would cool it with them if they don't appear to be a good friend. With the group thing bear in mind if they didn't organise maybe they didn't feel comfortable inviting you, maybe try casually ask about it (if you really want to know why you weren't invited!)