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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be totally pissed off with DH for being mean about Inside Out.

97 replies

couchparsnip · 30/01/2016 21:21

I am sitting here stewing, almost in tears and I know I am probably BU and irrational but he has really annoyed me.
We both like Pixar generally so we rented Inside Out to watch with the kids this evening.After I had put the kids to bed (my turn) I went in to his man cave (spare bedroom) to talk about the movie. He thought it was the worst one they had ever done at which I expressed surprise and said most people thought it was good. He said he had read loads of reviews saying it was really bad and Pixar were going downhill. He said it as if I was stupid to like the movie. I said I had read different reviews and he gave me a look like he didn't believe me.
I have just checked reviews online and cant find a single bad one! He has made that up to back up his wrong opinion! I know if I call him on this he will say something sarky about him always being wrong. Its totally stupid and I am probably completely pre menstrual but I feel like I cant talk to him now without having a row! I am now sitting in the kitchen with wine and feeling like I am stressing over a tiny trivial thing. Which I am, probably.

OP posts:

Ipsos · 31/01/2016 00:53

Maybe once he's done his man cave thing and come back out he will feel differently. In the book (you know the one I mean) it said we should never expect coherent or understanding conversation when he's in the cave.

sykadelic · 31/01/2016 04:29

Another poster (a couple of them) posted proof of some negative reviews. I read a few and many that said Pixar really failed with that one.

I agree with your DH and the other negative reviews on the movie. I wanted to like it but neither DH or myself did and we know a few other people who don't as well.

Katenka · 31/01/2016 06:33

So he didn't lie.

He didn't like the movie and that hurt you?

He didn't say anything mean or call you stupid for liking the film?

I mean this kindly, but why does him having a different opinion upset you so much. Why do you jump to the conclusion that he is lying, rather than you haven't seen the same reviews.

It seems that this is not about the movie, but you say your marriage is good otherwise?

I just find it odd that you were so upset you went in search to prove these reviews don't exist.

I do hope you feel better this morning

Isetan · 31/01/2016 07:52

It sounds like you were spooling for a fight.

I'd be seriously pissed off if a partner acted as you did and accused me of lying because I didn't agree with them on a topic they initiated and then used PMS as defence when they were called on it.

Personally, I found the concept of the film great but the execution dull and simplistic.

LadyLannister · 31/01/2016 08:21

I kind of agree with your husband, it's an awful film. My kids were bored rigid in the cinema watching it.

I can't understand why you're getting so upset over this though - it's just a film. Everyone has different tastes - no big deal.

WannaBeAMummy16 · 31/01/2016 08:38

Eh? Who goes and has a conversation about a childrens film? Do you always analyse films?

RhiWrites · 31/01/2016 10:23

She went to have a conversation because she'd been having one with the kids about imagination and the things that identify you as yourself.

Lots of people have conversations about films. It would be weird to turn it off and just go about your business without discussing what you'd just watched!

Sallystyle · 31/01/2016 10:33

Mansplaining

I know that's a thing but only someone on MN can assume a man is mansplaining based on absolutely nothing.

You are being a bit silly OP. I often find that if I have overreacted to something stupid there is usually something else bothering me.

StrawberryDelight · 31/01/2016 10:36

Eh? Who goes and has a conversation about a childrens film? Do you always analyse films?

We do...dh and I generally will chat about a film we've watched afterwards. If it's an adult film and based on a true story (my favourites) then I also google the 'real' story and we chat about that as well.

IoraRua · 31/01/2016 10:37

I second there maybe being something else bothering you, because in the kindest way possible, your actual reason is ridiculous. There's nothing wrong with having different opinions.

Fgs at the mansplaining posters, yes god forbid a man have the temerity to disagree with OP! How very dare he!

toomuchtooold · 31/01/2016 10:47

Is it that he doesn't like talking about emotions and shoots you down for trying to have an emotions conversation? I can see it would be pretty hurtful if you're talking about what you think your islands or core memories are, say, and he comes back with "oh that film was rubbish". And the whole " this is my opinion and lots of people agree with it" argument tactic is a low one, IMO. It's a subtle form of bullying.

OohMavis · 31/01/2016 11:05

I thought it was shit

But no judgment from me with regards to your very big overreaction, I can cry if DH leaves his shoes in the kitchen when I'm premenstrual.

nooka · 31/01/2016 17:57

From the OP I imagine that after the movie the OP had a really enjoyable chat with her kids about the movie, and hoped to continue the conversation with her dh (very normal, dh and I would likely do the same). However the dh didn't respond in the way she expected, and instead of the lovely conversation she expected he said he didn't like it at all (possibly quite strongly).

I get the impression that it was the OP whop started with the what other people think line. And she is right, generally reviews have been very positive (98% on Rotten Tomatoes). The dh responded by saying he'd read some bad reviews. And he was right too. Lots of people loved the movie but some people really didn't enjoy it at all.

I don't think anyone behaved especially badly here. Hopefully the OP and her dh have made up about their silly argument, and whatever underlying issue caused the snappiness (on both sides I suspect) has been resolved.

allegretto · 31/01/2016 18:01

Of course YABU - does your DH have to like what you like? I hated it too. I actually paid money to watch it at the cinema and had trouble not falling asleep during the drivel.

Original poster

couchparsnip · 31/01/2016 21:30

nooka you are pretty close. He was playing on his X box and I interrupted him to talk about a film he had hated but just been made to sit through. He may have been a bit short with me for that reason.

I suppose that I kind of knew I was overreacting so I just left, poured myself a glass of wine and asked MN to tell me I was being irrational. Which they did, quite strongly some of them! He actually still doesn't have a clue I was quite so upset with him - which is just as well really!

OP posts:

Bake62 · 31/01/2016 21:32

I recently watched this move and loved it! in saying that he doesn't have to.

MistressDeeCee · 01/02/2016 07:22

This post put me in mind of a controlling ex who would get very angry if I didn't like the same films and programmes as he did. The need for your partner to share the same views and opinions as you is odd, to say the least. Your DP didnt like the film. He doesn't have to.

JohnLuther · 01/02/2016 07:51

It's a shit film, I hated it and I quite like Pixar, hell I even like Cars but the second one was shit.

He's allowed to have a different opinion and it's nothing to do with him being a man or any of that bollocks, it sounds as though you were spoiling for a fight and if my wife accused me of lying over something so trivial I'd be pissed off too.

JohnLuther · 01/02/2016 07:53

Oh FFS I forgot I'd already posted

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 01/02/2016 08:04

With the greatest respect you sound a tad obsessed. Keep calm and watch Inside out.
Got to be more to it than that though. You're not reduced to almost tears because someone doesn't like a freeekin film, unless. You're the director, of course

gamerchick · 01/02/2016 10:45

Aw PMS is a total bitch. My last period I had a sobbing meltdown because the husband made chicken tika for tea and I cant stand the stuff. I was hungry and pmsing and that translated that he NEVER listens to me.

You had a moment, it happens.

Katenka · 01/02/2016 15:26

I suppose that I kind of knew I was overreacting so I just left, poured myself a glass of wine and asked MN to tell me I was being irrational.

You were also so upset, you googled reviews to prove to yourself he was lying.

If dh told me he had read bad reviews for a film I liked, it wouldn't have occurred to me that he would be lying.

Which is why I think there is more to this

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