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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to not breastfeed?

453 replies

Stephieee · 29/01/2016 22:40

DD is yet to arrive, but I never breastfed with DS and my goodness, I was made to feel terrible about it! I've told people that I'm not going to, this time around, but their views haven't changed :(

OP posts:
SalemSaberhagen · 30/01/2016 21:22

Do I seriously need to say it again? I haven't described formula feeding as an act as inferior. For fuck sake, if you are going to call me cuntish at least quote me properly. I have described formula as an inferior product when compared to breastmilk.

What word would you prefer? 'Not as good as'? It all means the same, doesn't it.

Sparklingbrook · 30/01/2016 21:25

No, 'inferior' has a much more sneery tone TBF. 'Not as good as' sounds fine.

DixieNormas · 30/01/2016 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparklingbrook · 30/01/2016 21:29

Who knows Dixie. Sad I think it's thread hiding time now.

DixieNormas · 30/01/2016 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SalemSaberhagen · 30/01/2016 21:30

Ok. Insert 'not as good as' in place of my 'inferior' if semantics are that important.

I'm sure people already know that dixie.

SalemSaberhagen · 30/01/2016 21:31

Continually bang on? Please look back, all of my replies have been pretty much to try and explain what I meant when you and PP completely misquoted me.

WorraLiberty · 30/01/2016 21:32

Oh come on.

The repeated use of the word 'inferior' is goady and you know it.

Playground woman, is that you? Grin

SalemSaberhagen · 30/01/2016 21:38

I used it once in my initial post. The constant misquoting of it meant that I repeated it to clarify my point.

DixieNormas · 30/01/2016 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thebestfurchinchilla · 30/01/2016 21:41

Yanbu. You have to do what is best for you and baby. A happy mother that bottle feeds is no bad thing. I was bottle fed but I chose to breast feed up to a point. When I got to that point it was MY decision and nobody elses so I respect your decision.

Allthetreesaretall · 30/01/2016 22:02

I ff my dd. I feel terribly guilty for it as I know she didn't get the best start. I wish I'd had more support in hospital.

You should do whatever you feel most comfortable with, don't bf if you'd prefer ff, don't ff if you'd rather bf!

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 23:05

Ignore other people. It does not matter how a baby is fed as long as it gets some,form of milk.
Nothing wrong with formula. People been using it for years. Go for it. You will have a more content baby as well.

FlatOnTheHill · 30/01/2016 23:10

Kilmuir
How dare you say the OP is BU for not trying to BF
It does not matter if she formula feeds. They baby will thrive well enough.
At least the OP will know how much milk the baby is having without all that pissing about with the baby constantly screaming and latched on to your tit. Nothing worse for a new mum.

coconutpie · 30/01/2016 23:56

So people are getting annoyed now that formula is being described as inferior? Errr well if you can't accept the scientific fact that formula IS inferior, then clearly formula marketing has done a pretty good job at convincing you otherwise. Formula is inferior when compared to breastmilk. Breastmilk is the optimal source of nutrition for an infant. In fact, formula is ranked as the last resort by the WHO:

1 breastfed
2 expressed breastmilk
3 donor milk
4 formula

No amount of saying "well it did me no harm" or whatever is going to dispute the fact that formula is inferior. If people don't want to breastfeed and want to give formula, then do what you want to do. But own your decision. Don't go around protesting when someone calls it what it is - an inferior product. If you're happy to feed your child formula rather than breastfeed for whatever reason then you have to accept that it is inferior to breastmilk and just own your decision. Stop trying to say it's not or that calling it inferior is looking for a bun fight - it's just stating fact. People just seem to spend so much time trying to justify their decision to formula feed by trying to belittle breastmilk which is completely pointless, and getting so defensive over it. If you're truly happy with your decision to formula feed, then a statement of fact that formula is inferior to breastmilk, shouldn't even bother you.

FlatOnTheHill · 31/01/2016 00:09

Coconutpie
Go and take your breast is best blog and post it where people will take notice.
OP ignore Coconutpie. The username says it all. Its probably the tree hugging type.

Nothing wrong with formula. Do what you want and what is best for you.
You don't have to justify your decision to anyone. Your baby will thrive on formula and will be more full. And bottle fed you know how much they are getting. Aptimil is fantastic. Hope ive spelt that right. They use that in a lot of hospitals when mums dont want to or cant BF. Good luck

CultureSucksDownWords · 31/01/2016 00:25

It's Aptamil. It's the same as the cheaper brand made by the same company, Cow & Gate I think it is. Aptamil is marketed as a premium brand when in reality all formulas have essentially the same ingredients. If any of the extras added by a manufacturer prove to be of benefit to babies then by law all formulas would have to contain them. Aptamil was/is(?) heavily promoted to health care professionals, and there is this persistent myth that it's more like breastmilk than other brands when it cannot be by law.

So, choose whatever formula you fancy, it doesn't matter. If I was using formula I think I would go for the cheapest one that was readily available.

Iammad · 31/01/2016 00:27

I am breastfeeding my 2 week old, I don't know how long for atm I'm just taking it each day as it comes.
If the time comes where I'm not wanting to do it any longer and it's making me unhappy baby unhappy etc then I will ff and will feel no guilt!
With my other children I have done both (apart from eldest who was just ff).
I would no way judge op or any woman for their personal feeding choice.
You have only a short time with a baby so it's no point doing something that you are not happy with and making the little precious time you have with your bundle a miserable time.

Crazypetlady · 31/01/2016 00:28

Fuck off with your inferior product bollocks.
Breast milk isn't a product. Formula is. They are for the same purpose but obviously they will have differences the important thing is they both feed the baby.The people on here calling it an inferior product are the people I hope I never have the misfortune to meet IRL.

Breastfeeding does not make you a saint and continuously pointing out formula is inferior makes you a prize dick.

DixieNormas · 31/01/2016 00:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crazypetlady · 31/01/2016 00:32

Ds was unwell on c&g he was a lot better on aptamil I think quality wise no difference but there is content different as some babies don't agree with certain formulas

MistressMerryWeather · 31/01/2016 00:33

If you're truly happy with your decision to formula feed, then a statement of fact that formula is inferior to breastmilk, shouldn't even bother you.

Bollocks.

Again this thread is about a pregnant woman being kicked in the arse from all directions about her perfectly acceptable and healthy choice to FF.

Using a word like 'inferior' about that choice is nasty and uncalled for, it serves no purpose but to make her feel bad about herself. You can dress it up all you want as 'just telling the facts' but actually, she didn't ask for those.

It begs the question, what the fuck do people like you get out of kicking vulnerable people when they are down?

If you and other posters like you want to pat yourself on the back about your feeding choices and feel superior go ahead, start a thread about how amazing BFing is but don't use a thread like this and people like OP to preach.

It's ugly.

FlatOnTheHill · 31/01/2016 00:36

My son could not get on with SMA. Doctor advised Apti and he thrived on it.
Different formulas suit different babies.

DisappointedOne · 31/01/2016 00:37

wonders what the anti-BFs would do if formula hadn't been invented yet/weren't in such plentiful supply

Sillysausage2 · 31/01/2016 00:39

Why don't you try it and see how it goes then OP? At least you can say you've tried and who knows you might find it very easy.

I'm bf my second, didn't intend to do it this long but it's going great (and he won't take a bottleAngry)

It is scientifically proven that it is better than formula, better for you and for baby. No amount of "mine are ff and never been sick" etc will change that. It's the equivalent of "my dad smokes x many and is fine therefore it doesn't cause cancer"

Many women try it and it doesn't work out, at least you can say you've tried it

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