to really want to get over this RE: exH but not know how?

[Timeforanamechangy]

Have spoken to exH today and found out that he is not attending DS' birthday party (even though he said he would to DS).

Tbh, from my opinion I am quite glad to not have him there as it means I can enjoy the day with DS without having to deal with exH but I just feel so sad for DS as he hasn't seen his dad since November and now we have no idea when he will see him next.

He has said that he would send money for his birthday present (as he did for Christmas) but that isn't the bloody point! DS would much rather actually see and spend time with his dad rather than have £20 put into my bank account!

Aibu for being so worked up about exH letting DS down again and really want to be able to get over being so upset about it?

Break it down and don't feel guilty for feeling.

You have every right to be angry he's let your son down.

You have every right to feel sad that your son will be sad.

In the knowledge he behaved as he did re Christmas you need to accept he is who he is and whilst that doesn't meet yours or many others standards that is out of your control. You cannot make another person do anything.

What is in your control is to give your son due notice that his dad wont be able to attend. If your son is angry and old enough to, you could consider allowing him to write a message, or do a short video, of how he feels about it to send to his dad or just to use as an exercise to help him process his emotion.

its tough this separation lark.

You can't control ex behaviour, all you can do is minismise the impact and prepare ds then pick up the pieces.