boys are like dogs?!!

[waitingforsomething]

Text a mum friend today who had a 2 DS one the same age as my dd (3) to see if they wanted to pop over for a play. She text me back to say she thought she would go to the playground because 'boys are like dogs and need to run'. I said Dd loves and needs a run around too (true) but it was Raining...she then said I didn't understand because Dd is a girl and she doesn't need it and I don't know how hard it is to have boys only. I am so lucky that DD will so quiet stuff sometimes and I will apparently understand when my DS learns to walk....
Aibu to think she's being a bit silly? Are boys really so different to girls? She is right that my DS is still a baby so perhaps I don't know but as far as I can tell all young children need a good airing....for some reason I'm dwelling on this and not sure why ...

I had a birthday party for my 8 year old DS this weekend. Twelve 8 year old boys. They were exactly like puppies wrestling each other. I have no idea if 8 year old girls act the same but I suspect it might have somehow been conditioned out of them - no idea why this would be as all the mums i know are a lot more sporty than the dads.
Also I note when the boys come out in to the playground at pick up they launch themselves on a ball and start a game - I do wonder whether the girls would like to join in but somehow they never seem to.

I've got two girls, one is the sit still and concentrate type and one is a whirling dervish from the minute she wakes until bedtime. She's been like that since she was born. She's 8. I'm exhausted.

There was an interesting study done that asked mothers to estimate how steep a slope their babies could crawl up - while they estimated correctly or overestimated what boys could do, mothers of girls underestimated what their daughters could do.

I'm sure none of them thought they were socialising their daughters in a particular way, but there is no difference in the crawling ability of girls and boys - just in their mothers' expectations of them.

There is something in it! If you watch girls and boys playing or interacting or in class - the boys are (generally) more active, fidgety, running around than the girls.

Watch them walking to school when a little older - the boys will be scooting, cycling, jumping off walls, mucking around. The girls will generally be walking quietly chatting. Boys seem to become less physically active and calmer when they're 12-13, from experience.

I know these are generalisations, but there is a grain of truth to them. My ds is about 100 times more active and more restless than dd, for example.

I am a middle aged female and I need to run regularly. In fact I need more exercise than my dog.
Girls need exercise too, what your friend says is sexist social conditioning.

PS and we parent them the same! But we know that dd needs more active outside time than dd did at his age, and if he doesn't get it he can't concentrate and will rush around inside instead...

I think the important thing is to know, and to parent, your own child.

I've got 2 girls and a newborn boy.

My two girls literally stayed in the house all week a few times before Christmas except for short trips to the doc. They weren't climbing walls. Tbh they need more running around than they get.

Can't comment on the boy yet. His legs are merely decorative. He seems to have the temperament of his biggest sister so far. So we will see.

Yes, there is something in it - pervasive persistent social conditioning from birth.

Ever seen a video of the experiment on how differently people treat a baby if it's dressed in blue vs dressed in pink? Dressed in blue = telling the baby how he's so strong, bouncing him energetically, if he cries he's angry. Dressed in pink = so pretty/so beautiful, more gentle play, if she cries she's upset. (It is in fact the same baby.)

Jesabel neat theory, but I disagree. I really didn't go around teaching them to be wrestling physical dynamos. I keep trying to get them to do colouring in. But they are currently turning the sitting room into a some kind of den/obstacle course. I'm hiding in the kitchen with MN on the laptop.

They eat for England and then want to run/climb. I'm sure lots of girls are similar, but boys have more muscles than girls generally, and a strong urge to exercise them.

Cocktail - the thing about social conditioning is you are mostly unaware of it. Your own experiences of socialisation mean you have particular expectations of what a girl is like and what a boy is like, even if it's not conscious.

Also my DS's are quite calm and are not the fidgety type but on occasion family members have suggested they need to 'run around ' simply because they are boys. People have expectations of how children behave.

I have 2 young boys and 2 male dogs - impossible to distinguish between them most of the time.

Im sure if I'd had 2 girls they would be exactly the same though, I was always on the go as a kid.

summer - I think the fact that you have a belief that boys naturally have a "strong urge to exercise" points clearly to expectations. Do male babies and toddlers really have more muscles than female ones?

Sorry, were we talking about babies? I was talking about toddlers plus.

Of course all toddlers need fresh air and exercise and have an innate curiosity about the world, and people may have different expectations which can lead to them treating boys and girls differently without realising it.

However, I've taught Reception and Year 1 for over 20 years and the majority of boys do behave differently from the majority of girls. You can see it when you watch them in the classroom, outdoor learning area or playground.

I've also lost count of the number of parents who have had a bright, calm girl for their first child - the stereotypical girl who loves nothing more than sitting down quietly to read or draw. Then they have a boy for the second child who is a complete bundle of energy, and tell me what a shock they have found it.

Not all girls are quiet and calm, and not all boys are active and fidgety, but many do conform to the stereotypes and I'm convinced that it's not just due to their upbringing.

I tend to compare small boys to puppies, but maybe chimps would be more accurate.

Ds and I could stay at home all day doing stuff and he would be fine. Dd definitely needed to be taken outside for exercise everyday and got cabin fever.

I think that is what you don't get - that some kids need running around whatever the weather. Not to do with boys and girls but different kids.

Boys and girls have the same physical strength up until middle adolescence according to a quick internet search.

summer - mothers underestimate their daughters crawling skills as babies, and overestimate their sons skills. Parents believe boy toddlers need to run around and girl toddlers like to sit and draw. Is that due to physical differences in muscle mass? I work with young children and haven't noticed a difference.

The language to describe boys is different from birth. If you have a baby boy who kicks a lot people will say oh he's going to be a footballer, very rarely will people say the same things about girl babies. This continues and as children get older the boy climbing on furniture will be more tolerated than the girl. It's societal brainwashing.

I have a boy and a girl...my ds needs so much exercise. It's exhausting! My dd is very different. Of course she needs exercise and can get cabin fever but she is perfectly happy to sit quietly and read, play, draw etc.

I don't do play dates at home for my ds and his friends because I know that they will be climbing the walls. I also never do birthday parties at home for my ds...They must be activity parties out of the house to burn off energy.
I actually don't believe it is social conditioning...I think it is something quite innate. I have a friend who is a very artistic, airy fairy hippy type...she had a son. I thought he'd be a sensitive, creative type due to his upbringing but his main interests are running and play fighting!

I assumed that this was sexist bollocking, but a preschool teacher told me that she'd been on a course which said boys do feel the need for more exercise- something to do with muscles? My DS is a lazy sod though.

cariadlet are you really surprised that parents who have stereotypical girls also have stereotypical boys? Wouldn't that rather support the 'conditioning' theory?

Genuine question: I don't doubt that gender differentiation is largely socialised bollocks but is there really nothing in the pure biology of the male species that makes it more inclined to physicality, less able to concentrate for long time periods, focus on tasks etc at certain developmental points? Something to do with hormones, brain development or muscle mass maybe? I'm not saying there is as I have no idea. Hoping someone more knowledgeable than me will come along and educate me.