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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed that the school didnt pick up on ds's temp?

16 replies

VicWillia · 26/01/2016 13:37

I picked up ds from after school club yesterday and immediately I could see him was ill, he was flushed, his eyes were too bright, he looked awful.

Took him straight home and took his temp which was 39.2.

He said he'd been feeling ill, sore throat etc, all day. He was also coughing a lot and very snotty. He said he hadnt told the teacher he wasnt feeling well because hes very shy.

I know the school are obviously not mind readers but I did hope that they might pick up on ds being obviously unwell. A fever can be a sign of something serious and he may have had it for a long time before I picked him up.

WIBU to say something to them?

OP posts:

Original poster

VicWillia · 26/01/2016 13:37

He is 5 btw.

OP posts:

HashTagYesYes · 26/01/2016 13:39

Yes I think you are being a bit u. It is a school not a hospital so they won't have thermometers lying around! And if he hadn't told the teacher he was feeling unwell then how would they have known?

VoldysGoneMouldy · 26/01/2016 13:39

You're flapping a bit tbh. Equally the school were probably wondering why you'd sent him in if he was under the weather, and you'd have probably been pissed off at that suggestion. He didn't tell the teacher. What do you want them to do, randomly check kids temperatures?

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 26/01/2016 13:40

YABU, but I do hope he gets better soon

goodnightdarthvader1 · 26/01/2016 13:41

YABU. If he didn't say anything, they'd rightly assume it's just a cold. As a PP said, they're a school, not your doctor.

Wardrobespierre · 26/01/2016 13:42

Yes mention it. But as an exercise in informing them that if he's feeling unwell, he might not tell them.

At times half the class will be coughing and sneezing. I've had v rare occasions where I've collected dd and known on sight she has a fever. Glazed eyes, pale but flushed. But it's because I know her. I didn't think it remarkable that they hadn't noticed and she hadn't spoken up. Again, this was while young. Now she's 8, she can speak up for herself.

Work with him on speaking up if he needs something and let the teacher know what happened. If it was part of a wider problem or happened lots, I might advise otherwise but I don't think it's alarming in isolation.

Hope he's better soon.

HumptyDumptyHadaHardTime · 26/01/2016 13:43

Sorry but YABU. Schools don't wonder around with thermometers in their hands.

He didn't say anything and they don't have crystal balls.

Equally if he says he hadn't been well all day with didn't you pick up on it before he went to school. It works both ways

Hope he feels better soon.

tiggytape · 26/01/2016 13:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KittyandTeal · 26/01/2016 13:44

So he didn't tell anyone he was feeling ill but your annoyed that the school didn't realise he had a temperature?

We are trained teachers, not medical professionals. I might notice if a kid had a stinking cold or was lethargic but unless they actually tell you they're feeling unwell you often assume they're fine.

Have a word with him and reiterate that if he's not well he must tell an adult, that they won't be cross but that they need to know so that they can help him feel better or call mummy to get him.

middlings · 26/01/2016 13:45

Sorry YABU. And even if he's shy he should be encouraged to tell someone if he isn't feeling well. Even DH (who doesn't spend that much less time with DD2 than I do) would struggle to know when she's not well whereas I can tell immediately.

WorraLiberty · 26/01/2016 13:46

YABU really.

If he kept his head down and just gone on with his day, rather than telling a teacher, it would be easy for them to think he's well enough to carry on.

Original poster

VicWillia · 26/01/2016 13:48

Okay thanks guys, I figured I was being U, its just hes only been at school since September, and I hated the thought of him being poorly and no one noticing.

He's my only as well, which probably explains it! :)

I will chat to him about talking to teacher if he does feel bad.

Thanks again !

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 26/01/2016 14:10

As much as you wouldn't wish a situation like this to happen, it's things like this that they end up learning from in future.

Hope he's better soon

KittyandTeal · 26/01/2016 14:10

Hope he feels better soon.

Have a word with the teacher too, in lines of 'he's really shy and was too shy to say he was unwell'. If one of my reception parents said something similar my response would be 'I'm really sorry, I'll make sure we keep an eye on him' and we would.

Remember most of us teachers love your kids too (obviously not in the same way!) and don't want them to feel ill at school

mmgirish · 26/01/2016 14:40

A parent asked me in a really aggressive manner last week after pick up if I knew what temperature her child was.... When I replied that no, I of course have no idea what temperature her child was and that her child didn't complain about feeling unwell that day, she looked embarrassed...

PurpleHairAndPearls · 26/01/2016 14:44

I thin pretty much everyone has had a thought like this when it's the first year of school Agree that in future if he's well enough for school but a bit "off colour" it's worth mentioning to the teacher so they keep an eye out, or reminding DS he can tell someone if he feels poorly.

I hope he feels better soon.

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