Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be sickened to hear all the tributes being paid to Cecil Parkinson

232 replies

wasonthelist · 25/01/2016 17:07

The "father" who refused to have anything at all to do withhis daughter -

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/conservative/12120477/The-only-promise-Cecil-Parkinson-ever-kept-never-to-see-his-daughter.html

OP posts:
Zazedonia · 25/01/2016 18:25

I think it's right to remember the bad, and not just the good. If no-one thought about the daughter for most of her life, at least she can be mentioned now.

GruntledOne · 25/01/2016 18:28

I can't say I ever had any sympathy with Sara Keays: she went into and continued an affair with a married man with her eyes wide open, and was primarily miffed because when it came down to it he refused to leave his wife; and she then did her utmost to get revenge because of that. But I agree his treatment of his daughter was pretty despicable, and his actions as a politician were nothing to be proud of.

LineyReborn · 25/01/2016 18:28

He was one of Thatcher's privatising favourites; and his actions in respect of his daughter Flora suggest a vile, supercilious, selfish, manipulative, controlling man.

jacks11 · 25/01/2016 18:28

He is clearly no angel. Maybe he is an utter and complete abomination of a human being, or maybe he wasn't as bad as he has been portrayed- I don't know.

What I would say is that there are 2 sides to every story and we all know how the media like to twist things. He said he has provided for her and that her mother was obstructive when it comes to his forming a relationship with their daughter. He denies wanting her put into an institution. Miss Keay portrays things significantly differently, saying he didn't provide financially for her and so on. I don't know who is telling the truth, I suspect there were significant short-comings on both sides. None of which excuses any suffering the daughter experienced because of her parents short-comings.

amarmai · 25/01/2016 18:29

lessons from mn today
1 telling the truth is poor taste??
2 the mother who brought up the love child is as bad as the married man who fathered her and denied all assistance
3 the courts are controlled by the gov
4 a person can be ghosted in a democratic country
5 most mners have a heart and want justice !

Original poster
wasonthelist · 25/01/2016 18:30

I am not being all puritanical about his affair - but the gut-wrenching hypocrisy of the times, as somone else said, they were probably all at it, whilst advocating draconian stuff for the "immoral lower orders" . How ironic that Edwina Currie had a go at Keays, too.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 25/01/2016 18:32

I think the tributes and the references to his potential being cut short are sickening.

Itisbetternow · 25/01/2016 18:32

In those days the pregnant OW would have been told to shut up and disappear especially with a man of his position. With a disabled child she could have ended up homeless and destitute as there wasn't the support for single mothers then. She had no choice but to go public to support her child. Yes she did Date a married man (I won't call it an affair on her part as she was single)but he was married and had an affair too. He got very bad press then however so did she got being a single parent. Thankfully times have changed.

Original poster
wasonthelist · 25/01/2016 18:35

Mrs Thatcher couldn't wait to bring him back. I wonder if she allowed her obvious affection for him to cloud her judgement a bit?

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 25/01/2016 18:36

I saw a programme about this some years ago. It showed him in a very poor light indeed. He absolutely disowned his own daughter who was disabled. Haven't read any of the tributes yet and don't want to.

Original poster
wasonthelist · 25/01/2016 18:38

I had to turn off the radio news - couldn't stand listening to Cameron and Portillo waxing lyrical about him.

OP posts:
LineyReborn · 25/01/2016 18:38

Thatcher was completely doe-eyed about him.

HelenaDove · 25/01/2016 18:38

Agree wasonthelist The hypocrisy is astounding.

Stradbroke · 25/01/2016 18:40

What an utter cunt. Poor flora. Never being in a school photo, being in a school play. What a disgusting abuse of power.

Theoretician · 25/01/2016 18:41

I think the argument that he is despicable for ignoring his daughter is false, because she wasn't his daughter. Being an informal sperm donor doesn't make you a father, in the sense of that word that is being used to denigrate him.

zen1 · 25/01/2016 18:41

YANBU His death does not negate the fact that he was an arse

Original poster
wasonthelist · 25/01/2016 18:44

So having an affair (as a man) is now being "an informal sperm donor". Whilst many Men do seem to think this, it's not really appropriate in my opinion.

OP posts:
NNalreadyinuse · 25/01/2016 18:45

I nearly started this thread OP. I think he was a completely scummy excuse for a human being and should be remembered as such. The way he behaved towards Flora was disgusting.

yougottheshining · 25/01/2016 18:46

Yanbu OP. I hate these powerful men who think that rules of common decency don't apply to them. I know someone whose famous father never acknowledged his existence and it has had all sorts of ramifications for him - ramifications that his father never had to consider, the utter shit that he is. There is no excuse at all to abandon a child.

Pain1 · 25/01/2016 18:51

Poor girl never being in a class photo my god it's like a conspiracy. She didn't ask to be born.

Hihohoho1 · 25/01/2016 18:52

telling the truth is in poor taste

So you know the truth do you? You were part of their inner circle of friends? No thought not. For goodness sake don't be so innocent.

I am sure he was a floored character just like everyone else posting on here. I am sure that having a 12 year affair with a married man is horrible and he was just as guilty.

Regarding his disabled dd we have no idea of the rights or wrongs of this just news paper speculation and gossip.

I remember feeling sickened at Sara Keys selling stories to newspapers and mainly felt sorry for the wife and children.

It's bad taste to vilify someone the day they die unless they are pure evil.

There's a grieving family here.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 25/01/2016 18:54

I don't think a 12 year affair makes you an informal sperm donor. Hmm

fleurdelacourt · 25/01/2016 18:56

YANBU.

There is a basic truth in here which is that he never met his daughter, he only paid what he was legally mandated to do, despite being very wealthy and he took out a draconian injunction to prevent his daughter from attracting any sort of publicity until she was 18.

None of these are the actions of a man we should admire.

There may be other truths. Sara Keays may not have been an angel. He may have been an otherwise nice bloke, but fundamentally he behaved appallingly towards one of his 4 children.

ClarenceTheLion · 25/01/2016 18:58

He was a prick, and I certainly don't wish he RIP. Good riddance.

Hihohoho1 · 25/01/2016 18:59

she would have ended up homeless and destitute Catherine Cookson eat your heart out.

She was a middle aged woman with a very good career from a middle class family not a 16 year old from a council estate.

She had an affair for 12 years and couldn't give a shit about his wife or kids. Not nice in my opinion.

He behaved appallingly no dought but no worse or better than her.

Anyway whatever the facts, and we won't know them as noone knows other people's relationships he died today so a bit of respect for his children wouldn't come amiss.