To think that being very early is as bad as being late?

[FirstWeTakeManhattan]

Quite a few times, particularly when getting set up for children's parties and parents are possibly desperate to off load over-excited kids, guests have turned up early. Occasionally when we have guests overnight as well.

With 3 young children, work etc. I have little free time and find it really annoying when people turn up when I'm grabbing a quick shower before whatever event it is, or just finishing off food, tidying, or whatever.

Five minutes early, fine. I'm ready to go when I'm supposed to be ready, but half an hour before? Just bloody annoying. I'd rather people be late than early to be honest!

It's even worse when the usual offenders chirp 'Oh, you don't mind if we're early do you?' Yes, I really, really bloody do mind, actually.

Or AIBU?

I claim the prize for most extreme earliness
My grandma and great aunt turned up on my doorstep a WHOLE DAY early.
They were having a holiday in the nearby seaside town, had never been to my house before, 'we just thought we'd better make sure we could find you'
Of course I wasn't ready for them, but felt obliged to invite them in and abandon all my plans for the day....and then entertain them as planned the following day.

Oh it is so annoying. I've got family members who are always early (and they aren't the kind of people you invite in and give jobs to). I really wish they would go to the pub round the corner but they are so bloody tight that the thought of spending money probably invokes an anxiety attack.

I have another relative who is always late - we now tell her restaurant bookings are 15 minutes earlier than they actually are.

Glad other people feel this way about early birds because it's always the late people who get the flack!

I admit I'm usually late but almost all my friends are ridiculously early! I remember so many nights in my late teens and early 20's sat in empty nightclubs for 2 hours before anyone else turned up, by which time I'd lost the will, all because they 'didn't want to be late'!

Not to mention the surprise party for a colleague which the friend I was with insisted on getting to 90 minutes early. When we arrived the building was deserted as the party organisers weren't even there to set up yet!

Or there's the friends who turned up 3 hours early for dinner the night before our wedding, catching me up to my eyes in packing for the honeymoon and other last minute wedding things, whilst making them tea and keeping them entertained!

Mind you, they could easily fill a thread with my "late" stories I guess!

Yanbu...hate hate hate earliness it makes me feel rude for being on time....or worse for being late! :)

Not sure anyone's claimed they're horrified at people being punctual or 5 minutes early .

The problem is more to do with the interruption of someone arriving whilst you're in the middle of getting ready. I will obviously take longer and probably appear to be faffing about if you impose yourself on me when I'm in the middle of sorting stuff out, with you huffing and puffing and being inpatient.

5 or 10 minutes early wouldn't bother me, although I do like having those 10 minutes to myself if we're hosting. (More so for family, so I can mentally prepare!)

People rocking up an hour early hasn't happened for a long while, but they tend to be handed a cup of tea, the children, and left in the living room while I finish food prep or take a shower.Early people become unwitting babysitters round here!

Grrr people being early to my home grinds my gears as well, though I have only one person who does this - other friends are considerate and will nip to pub or cafe to wait until designated time.

I think why this person winds me up in particular is that she only thinks of what suits her (it suited her to come early) and not what suits the host, and will sit staring and waiting to be entertained. So when she does it now I go about my business and ignore her and am quite blunt "I TOLD you not to come until 7pm I'm not READY yet as it's 6.30pm so you'll just have to entertain yourself".

What really takes the biscuit though is she has been known to turn other people people (and me) away from her home to come back later after turning up on time/ a few minutes late - as SHE wasn't ready herself yet!!

My in laws used to arrive up to an hour early when we hosted family things. They said they were here to help but just used to sit down and expect to be entertained. We would usually have everything ready and the only thing left was for us to get ourselves showered and changed. In the end we used to invite them for an hour after we wanted them. They always had to be last to leave as well.

These days we rarely entertain at home - we tend to take the family out for a meal instead. They are always late.

MIL has form for this. She and her DH rocked up about an hour early for our wedding party while we were still decorating the house, and recently she pitched up at 9.30 on a Sunday morning when we were expecting her at 11.30. The house was a tip. They took the hint and left, thank fuck. It's particularly annoying as once in the house they Never. Shut. Up.

it has things in common with being late
the underlying message is the same
'I'll do things when I feel like it not when it's convenient for you'
It also suggests wanting to surprise you or catch you on the back foot.

If at all possible I would deal with a repeat offender by pretending not to be in so that they had to hang about like a spare part for whatever period of time they are early by

I'd never be offended or put out if I got to your home/our meeting place early and no-one was there -- that's my own fault, and I've always got a book. Unfortunately, DH comes from a similar family, and is just as bad (we arrived at the church for our DS wedding before the vicar...!) so there's no-one to 'check' me
I would be offended/put out if I arrived on time (the time we had agreed between us) and then you got cross with me...