Was I in the wrong to ask somebody to control their dog?

[WannaBeAMummy16]

I look after a young boy with low-level learning and behavioural problems. He is a very anxious boy and is terrified of dogs. Whenever we are out and we see a dog, he gets very tense and then will run, which of course dogs tend to think he wants to play.

I calmly reassure him that the dog is fine, it's a friendly dog, it won't hurt him etc. A couple of times I've asked if we could talk to the dog as I would hate for him to go through life terrified of something that he will see on an almost daily basis.

Anyway.. if a dog is off the lead I always call out for them to please call their dog back as the boy is terrified and then apologise and thank them. No problems.

Until today.

Two large (collie type) dogs, off lead. They came running up to us, I asked if she could call them back and said he's terrified. The woman grunted and didn't call them back. I couldn't move us out of the way so asked again to please call the dogs back. She said they are friendly. I said yes they might be friendly but he is terrified. The whole time I was trying to stay calm for the boy. I told him to run ahead (not something I would normally do but I had to get him to calm down). I then shouted to the woman that her dogs should be on a lead if they are going to run up to people like they were. She shouted back they are fine, they don't need leads.

So was I being unreasonable to ask her to keep her dogs under control?

fatmomma so you're ok with scaring children because their parents are over anxious and have probably also littered as well?! Aren't you a charmer. I think your attitude is the whole problem - aggressive and inconsiderate towards other people.

What I find is that I only meet out of control over friendly or not at all friendly dogs...it might only be one a day, but they're the only kind I meet.

Nice sensible owners see me with an on lead muzzled dog and keep their dog beside them, dogs with any social skills at all take one look at my dog's body language and go, fuck no, lol.

So by default I only meet PITA ones.

If you're a person without a dog and have an allergy or a phobia or are with someone with one, they're probably only going to meet those ones as well, because anyone with any sense and manners will keep their dog away anyway.

With previous dogs I didn't notice anywhere near as many because I didn't really register it - I had no reason to pay attention to whether the owner tried to recall or would have been able to.

So I definitely think some of it is just noticing it more if you're having to pay attention and some of it is that you only ever attract the dogs you'd rather stayed away.

I walk those fields 3 times a day and have done for 7 years, and my dog is fine. If you don't like dogs near your child, don't take them to those places. Take them to a gated park.

This is my favourite arrogant dog owner argument. If you don't use this field/path/beach as often as I do, you have not earned the right to equal enjoyment unmolested by my special snowflake dog.

Sorry for the rant, but if you don't like dogs, don't take your kids to places where dogs go!

As a family, we love long walks. DS1 has been walking miles for nearly as long as he could walk. It's great exercise for all of us quite apart from being an activity we all enjoy. We don't do it 3 times a day in all weathers (jobs, nursery, the fact that we'd prefer to take these walks when it's not pouring with rain) but it's not terribly reasonable to suggest that people should stay away from public rights of way because you can't be arsed to teach your dog reliable recall.

Fortunately, the vast majority of dog owners are considerate and have their dogs under control, even if not on a lead. It was one of the exceptions like you who one day managed to turn my kid from a toddler who was very fond of dogs, albeit with a healthy dose of respect, to having an utter terror of them that two years on we're still working to overcome, because her dogs were too special to be called off from jumping all over a child smaller than they were. Because they were friendly and didn't mean any harm, you know? They just loved kids.

YANBU. Dogs should not be running up to people, slobbering and jumping, or frightening anyone. No, not even if they are "just being friendly"

Of course dogs should be on a lead if they are not trained enough to come to heel when called. And the person on the other end of the lead needs to be strong enough to control them! DH was walking home today along ordinary housing estate streets, when a dog just lunged at him, almost pulling over its frail owner. He was able to leap backwards, but he said a slower moving person wouldn't have had a chance. Having an animal is a responsibility, not a right.

I'm interested in the comments from people who say their dog would never hurt anyone... Our next door neighbour had a lovely, well-trained dog for several years. One night, out of the blue, the dog attacked the family. I heard everything because it all happened on the other side of my bedroom wall. Turned out the poor dog had some kind of medical condition that had caused the sudden aggression, and unfortunately it had to be put down because of the medical issue. No one could have imagined that the dog would ever hurt anyone. But it did.

Clearly that's an unusual situation, but I don't think anyone can ever be absolutely and completely certain that their animal won't ever attack a person or another animal. Sadly, it does happen.

Love how you get the arguments from a few dog owners (who give all dog owners a bad name) who always blame the parents for overreacting and making their kids scared.

How about I borrow my brothers huge pet spider or a huge snake and just walk up to you with it and pop in your your shoulder. It's very friendly and would only be playing

Ive always had GS's, one of my rescue males, had aggression triggers (because of abuse), so I walked him very early and very late and on a lead, when people were around.

My current female GS, hasn't got great recall, I'll run her off the lead at 6am today and then at other times pick carefully where I walk her and again keep her on the lead when necessary.

It's part of the responsibility of dog ownership. If you can't commit to the breeds needs, then don't give one a home. It's not like ending up with a child with a disability that means they can't get over their fear, or working through a child's fear.

I had a beautiful collie girl, she was chased out of a park by a boxer that wasn't being called back. My dog was killed on the road, of course all of a sudden, when she saw her dog heading for the road, the owner perfectly recalled her dog and disappeared.

I'm constantly subjected to small dog owners thinking it's funny that their dog is showing signs of aggression to mine, 3+
times their size, I've had GS's nipped. I've told them "to get their dog under control before I bite it". I have had to 'kick' dogs away, because I don't want my dog 'turning' and being blamed because it's seen as an 'aggressive' breed.

I've seen dogs killed and injured by 'bouncy' bigger dogs. I spend a lot of time walking my dogs and have done so for over 30 years.

I've also seen dogs injured because their owners haven't kept them close enough, they've run into barbed wire/broken fencing, or had eye injuries from bounding through dangerous areas.

They're are some dickhead dog owners about and it spoils it for every other dog owner.

What I meant by "it's not like having a child with a disability that's means they can't get over their fear", was that getting a dog, is a choice, it's not something that you just have to get on with.

You have time to plan and prepare. It isn't a necessity, just because you want one, doesn't mitigate your responsibility, to the dog and others. Get a house pet (although some people shouldn't even have sticks as pets!), or become a dog walking volunteer.

Just in case anyone thought I meant that sentance in an offensive sense.

YANBU.

Feel embarrassed to be a dog owner by some of the comments on here. Way to make people who already don't like dogs (and dog-owners) like them even less.

We have a small, shy female Labrador who we all know won't hurt a fly. But even so, whenever I pass someone on the street (she's always leashed on the street), I pull her close, because I don't know how they feel about dogs.

DD was terrified of all animals until we got ours so perhaps we (DH and I) are slightly more sensitive.

Like adjustable I'm also at the 'my dog's fine' comment. I was attacked by a dog on my street last year - a "lovely dog" that "loved children". It attacked my leg so badly I wasn't able to walk for several days. I have permanent nerve damage and some bad scarring. The dog had never done anything like that before, and it just ran out of its home and attacked me as I walked past. Dogs are animals. You cannot predict how they will behave.

I find dog owners like fatmomma staggeringly arrogant and negligent with their "don't go to places where there are dogs". What, so I can never go for a walk in the country, or along my favourite bridle path, because your dog who - yes of course, 'loves children' - will be there? Horrible attitude.

Heartening to see a lot of dog owners on this thread who are aware that some people don't like dogs and don't take that as a personal slight against their pet.

I posted earlier about my parents dog, well I was on the phone to my mum earlier and she had just had a horrible experience. As well as the crazy dog they also have a timid rescue dog. DM was out walking the dogs by herself (with the crazy one on a lead) when 2 collies charged at the timid one and chased her. Dm yelled at the owner to call them off but she got the standard they're just playing. DMs dog leapt a fence to try and escape and took off over 3 fields while DM watched in horror as she reached the road and continued to run. Luckily she ran home and that's where dm found her but it could have been awful!!

My son doesn't like play parks. He likes going for walks in the woods or on the beach. I shouldn't have to keep him away from places he loves because owners can't keep their dogs under control. I don't let him close to dogs because of his unpredictable behaviour and I think it is reasonable to expect dog owners to keep their dogs away in return.

I have a dog I deliberately don't walk on weekends around our local lake especially when the weather is nice.

Not because she is badly behaved or because she doesn't have instant recall, but because of all the other badly behaved dogs and numpty owners.

She is absolutely fine off the lead. Doesn't pay much attention to other dogs (unless it is a black lab type, she also hates those) but get sick to the back teeth if her being chased, harassed and bothered by dogs that probably usually get walked around the block all week or let out on the back garden.

They tend to be big, bouncy dogs. Labs, staffys, spaniels etc. None of which we see mon to fri. You can spot the numptys a mile off. Squeaky clean wellies. A big specially purchased dog walking coat. Usually with headphones in or deep in conversation with another shiny wellied person. Sometimes there are 2 or 3 of them who have met up for a lovely dog walk.

The dogs tend to be daft and over friendly. Over excited at being out. Thrilled with the potential new friends they can make.

When I have my dog off lead she tends to not go far from my side. And if any of these dogs rush over and try and say hello to me or my toddler in his pram she will snap at the other dogs. I am not going to put her on the lead because if I do that and she gets attacked (which has happened) I am likely to get bitten, my toddler will be in the middle of it and she is a whippet so can usually sprint out of the way.

So she will be off lead for the majority of our walks as she does have instant recall and doesn't approach people. She doesn't like strangers and avoids them including children.

You can't say that the however millions of dogs that are in the uk should be on a lead at all times because of a few bad, irresponsible owners.

Yanbu I've had the "he's on being friendly" and the classic "you should TRAIN you're child to be ok with dogs" and "what are you doing at the park I he's afraid of dogs". All the while this was happening my son was screaming and climbing up me to sit on my shoulders!
A lot of dog owners a ok. They'll call the do away automatically.

The message from some dog people is that those who are scared of dogs / don't want to be jumped / slobbered at should stay in gated playgrounds and certainly never have picnics - how very dare an "idiot" family eat ham sandwiches on a sunny day!

I was jumped up at by a lab recently covered me in mud. Owners response?"he never does that". He just did and right in front of both of us!

Fatmomma99 Can you please help me word a letter to the boys school letting them know I can no longer take him their because I'm not allowed to walk him along the road where these dogs were.

*there

bimandbam Funnily enough I was just saying the same, yet opposite thing to DH last weekend. We often walk along a riverside path before heading into the fields. On the rare beautiful sunny days you gets loads of new dogs that I'd swear are only walked on beautiful sunny days. Only the ones around here don't seem to be well socialised and are generally pretty aggressive to my dog and I end up having to do the whole section on lead. I much prefer rainy days where it's just the die hard walkers with their generally friendly dogs!

Yes Noofly it's definitely a problem. We live next to a beautiful, popular lake. It's an ideal walk. Nice maintained paths, ducks and swans for ds to feed, a cafe half way around if we fancy a coffee/ice cream, plenty of long grass and bushes for dog to explore.

Lovely and quiet mid week. Rain or shine. You see the same dog walkers at the same time. Say hello, dogs might have a quick sniff and that's it.

Weekends it's total chaos. Dogs all over. Crashing through the reeds where the moorhens live. Idiots deliberately throwing balls in for them even when its neating season and chicks probably hiding in there. Kids on bikes being careered into. Adults on bikes screeching 'mind your backs, mind your backs' as they whizz past. Etc etc.

I avoid like the plague and either walk around ings which is much quieter or go around the rugby pitches which is far too muddy this time of year for designer wellies.

It's a shame that everyone not just dog owners are not more considerate and feel their rights to enjoy a bike ride/dog walk/picnic is more important than other peoples rights to enjoy whatever it is they are doing.

Why do people think that because they only see X dog on Y day, that they only get get walked on that particular day?

Maybe they only get walked there occasionally...?

Because most dogs who are regularly walked know how to behave appropriately.

Most dogs know how to approach another dog if they are well socialised. They have a decent recall. Don't generally bother with other humans etc.

There will always be the odd exception but generally speaking.

A dog who doesn't go out as much is usually very excited to be out. Hasn't learned dog to dog social cues. Thinks every human is fair game for a kiss.

I keep my bitch in for a week or so when she is in season due to local romeos finding her too tempting. We do a bit of road walking on the lead but no off lead bombing around. The first time she goes out after her week off she is bonkers. That crazy, run everywhere at 100mph, be generally mad is what you see on a weekend in popular spots.

Pretty much because of bimbam's post above. On beautiful sunny days you get tons of dog owners who don't seem to know the general rules of off lead dog walking - e.g. if there is a cyclist going by, don't let your dog run in front of it, if your dog is aggressive, don't let it run up to other dogs etc. I suspect most of these dogs get an on lead walk round the block on rainy days. There aren't many of us who are every day, rain or shine, and it's very rare for me to meet a new dog on a rainy day.

I have a dog and would always call her to me if I see a child is anxious. However the OP does say she was 'trying to keep calm' and I do wonder whether she is unwittingly worsening the problem. It's not uncommon for mothers of toddlers to call to me saying their child is terrified when clearly its they who are afraid. Of course the child picks up on that. Perhaps if she could address her fears it might help the situation.

It certainly isn't me terrified - I adore dogs, grew up with them. The boy genuinely is terrified to the put he has wet himself in the past.