Was I in the wrong to ask somebody to control their dog?

[WannaBeAMummy16]

I look after a young boy with low-level learning and behavioural problems. He is a very anxious boy and is terrified of dogs. Whenever we are out and we see a dog, he gets very tense and then will run, which of course dogs tend to think he wants to play.

I calmly reassure him that the dog is fine, it's a friendly dog, it won't hurt him etc. A couple of times I've asked if we could talk to the dog as I would hate for him to go through life terrified of something that he will see on an almost daily basis.

Anyway.. if a dog is off the lead I always call out for them to please call their dog back as the boy is terrified and then apologise and thank them. No problems.

Until today.

Two large (collie type) dogs, off lead. They came running up to us, I asked if she could call them back and said he's terrified. The woman grunted and didn't call them back. I couldn't move us out of the way so asked again to please call the dogs back. She said they are friendly. I said yes they might be friendly but he is terrified. The whole time I was trying to stay calm for the boy. I told him to run ahead (not something I would normally do but I had to get him to calm down). I then shouted to the woman that her dogs should be on a lead if they are going to run up to people like they were. She shouted back they are fine, they don't need leads.

So was I being unreasonable to ask her to keep her dogs under control?

Dog owner was rude and ignorant. Yanbu.

YWNBU. The onus is on the owner to control her dogs. Why can't some dog owners understand that even a very friendly dog can be terrifying or unpleasant to some people?

I love dogs and have the friendliest dog in the world. Nevertheless, it is entirely up to me to make certain he doesn't approach strangers without their express permission. You never know who might be afraid of dogs (or simply not like them).

(I think that all dogs should be on leads in public places, with the exception of designated dog parks. It works in other countries.)

Get one of these. Dog Dazer

I've got one and it works quite well. It's a personal alarm thingy at dog whistle frequency.

Ywnbu! You shouldn't have even had to have asked her to call them back.

But if you can try to get him to really understand why running away can make it worse that might be good as well. In some cases dogs might mistake it for play but in the case of my dog may view it as threatening behaviour if sudden. She does have a problem with children but needless to say if she is off lead if I see a child she goes straight back on.

YWNBU

BUT - you should NOT have told him to run - that is the worst thing to do - my collie would have assumed he was playing as she plays tag with my children and would have wanted to chase after him. You should never run from a dog 1) They can run faster and 2) If it is aggressive running will make hunting instinct kick in.

YANBU I dislike dogs myself and would have hated this despite being 31 and needing to act like a grown up. I hope he wasn't too distressed by this selfish woman's actions.

There are always so many dogs tied up to our school gates and recently we got caught in the middle of two of the dogs fighting.

We have the same prob with our school. School write letters asking parents not to do it, but it's ignored. It's intimidating for a child to have to squeeze past half a dozen barking dogs imo. One little girl had her sandwich snatched out of her hand, she was in buggy and dog tied to school gate jumped and took it. The Mum pulled the owner in the yard who initially laughed, and then had a go Mum saying it's her dds fault and she should be feeding her children at home.

Some people have said they do this to get the dogs used to excited kids. With so many little children walking past I worry one day that a toddler will go to stroke, or a younger sibling will suddenly stick hand out of buggy or do something that startles an untrained dog and a child gets bit.

YWNBU at all - I'd never let my dog run up to a child!

On the other hand, I wouldn't let a child walk past a dog with a sandwich in their hand. In your example liesl i'm afraid i do actually think that's the mum's fault.

We have an idiot family who keep having picnics in the park near us. They spread plates of ham and cheese and stuff over the whole blanket, then when dogs run over and sniff they go batshit crazy and say they're so profoundly allergic to dogs that they'll need to go to a&e. If it's that bad ffs don't do something that's going to attract them!

Yanbu people shouldn't let their dogs run up to others on paths, parks, fields or anywhere else. If a dog doesn't have instant recall it needs to be on a lead. Children who are nervous around dogs or don't understand how to behave around them, shouldn't be restricted where they can go.

Ywnbu but it could have ended badly telling him to run on ahead. He needs to 'make like a tree'

YWNBU. I have a rescue dog, he was very frightened of other dogs at first and absolutely didn't need other big dogs bounding up to him and trying to play. 'Oh, they won't hurt him' - maybe, but if they don't go away he might hurt them. You asked politely and she should have called them back.

Sorry joan - if you suffer from an allergy so severe your life is at immediate risk from any physical contact with a dog's saliva or dander, you shouldn't be lying around next to plates of food in a park. Have a picnic in your garden instead, or any of the squares where dogs are forbidden.

The fact of the matter is that the OP was not being at all unreasonable - except in encouraging the poor little boy to run ahead. My comment was directed at the poster above me - it's not about dog ownership, it's about mitigating risk!

You were being unreasonable. Stop bringing him places where dogs are off lead.

There is no worse phrase to a dog owner than "control your dog" particularly when dogs are not out of control

If a dog is running up to people then it is out of control.

Not unreasonable at all and exactly why dogs should be on leads at all times except in dog owners gardens or land.

YANBU. At all.

I don't take my toddler and pre schooler to the local woods any more because there are too many dogs running around off the lead. They bound out of the trees and are out of sight of their owners. A dog jumped up at my toddler a few weeks ago and the owner was nowhere to be seen for at least a couple of minutes. It was scarey. I was shouting for the owner to call the dog and when they finally did appear they looked pissed off. No apology. Another time some big, muscular beast charged at us and even my husband, who is a dog lover, swept our boys up, into the buggy and stood hunched over them until it was gone. Never did see that one's owner. Seems unreasonable to me that I can't take my kids to enjoy the woods because owners can't/ won't control their dogs.

I've had this happen twice. First time DH and I were walking along a woodland path when suddenly from nowhere a large dog bounded up and actually cornered us, crouched down with it's teeth bared, and snarled at us whenever we tried to move. I was terrified. Eventually a couple strolled into view, casually swinging a dog lead, so we guessed that it belonged to them, and asked them to call it off as we thought that we were about to be bitten. The man went completely crazy, shouting that we were wrongly accusing his dog of being aggressive. He actually squared up to DH and threatened to hit him! Luckily the woman saw sense, apologised and dragged her man (and the dog) away. This happened years ago but the memory still makes me panic.

Second time we were strolling through a country park of a NT property, before going out for a restaurant dinner. Two labradors who were plastered in mud came charging up to us. They appeared to be friendly rather than aggressive, but nevertheless we did not want their attention, particularly as one of them jumped straight up onto DH smothering his white shirt with mud. The two women who were with them were completely nonplussed and got very annoyed when we pointed out that there were NT notices around saying that dogs should be on leads. No apology, just aggression. We had to abandon our dinner plan and go straight home as DH's shirt was in such a state. It took two washes to get the mud stains out.

So now we have two nice local areas that we have reluctantly decided to avoid. Not because of the dogs but because of the aggressive dog owners.

YANBU. When we moved to this house, our easiest route to school was over a common and through the woods and we'd come across a lot of dogwalkers. Unfortunately my son was scared of dogs, since a former neighbour's Boxer had run out of the house and pounced on him as we walked past one day. He'd get quite distressed while walking to school when he saw a dog off the lead, and like you I'd ask if the owners could put them on their leads. Some would but others would just say that Bonzo or whatever was just being friendly, loved kids etc...totally oblivious to the upset they were causing.

I walk my dog in the same area now (and incidentally my son is no longer scared since we got our dog, although he was rather wary for quite a long time) and if I see a child I put my dog back on his lead. He's very well behaved and has excellent recall but does like children and their excitement makes him bouncy and I don't want to upset anyone.

Actually, thinking about it, dog owners piss me off a lot by not putting their dogs on leads. We often come across two very bouncy dogs who wind my dog up, they're just too boisterous for him, he likes calm. If I see them I get him on his lead but their owner just leaves them to run rings around my dog. They're not the only ones and I always think that if I've put my dog on his lead then he's on it for a reason so please show me the same courtesy. If mine is off his lead and we see another on his/her lead then I always call mine back and clip his on until we've passed by. I had someone's 'lively' Dalmation knock me backwards last Summer when he ran and jumped up at me, his owner was oblivious as she walked ahead with her headphones on.

I must admit as a regular dogwalker I come across multiple dogs on a daily basis and never once have I had a dog jump up at me, pounce on me, bound up to me, knock me over, run at me, or any of the things that are frequently described on MN. I have no idea where you all live that this is apparently everyday behaviour because it certainly isn't round my way is this another one of those peculiar only-on-MN things? I've had dogs all my life and I cannot think of one single incident where a strange dog has jumped up at me. Or run at me for that matter. And I'm out walking in dog-popular areas at least twice a day and regularly take my dogs on holiday, so I frequent dog-friendly beaches etc. The only dog that's ever knocked me over was the family labrador when I was a toddler (my mother captured a perfectly timed if slightly blurry photo of me somersaulting over his back which is now framed and in the hall).

I'm not saying it's not possible because I have met some truly atrociously behaved dogs before too, but it seems to happen with astonishing frequency to posters on here.

You were being unreasonable. Stop bringing him places where dogs are off lead

Yes, fucking hell OP, how dare you walk down the street like that. You should of course stay indoors to avoid inconveniencing arrogant dog walkers.

Lockhead - I think it's something you don't pay attention to if you like dogs and have no reason to care if they run over to you.

My dog has some medical issues that cause pain and because of those is dog aggressive, I've owned dogs for years and never noticed how little control most owners have over their dogs until it became important that they not come and bounce on mine.

It does also vary a bit by area, if I drive somewhere else to walk him, dogs are much better behaved.

Ok. Sorry, but going against the thread. I live near 4 parks, 3 of which have equipment set up for children, and a 4th where dogs have to be in control. I don't walk my dog in ANY of those places. I walk her in fields which are flood-plain and where cows go.

My dog (who is big - a boxer-cross) LOVES children.

I walk her off-lead because she is a big dog and needs the exercise.

She isn't doing anything "wrong" by being a dog - that is what she is.

I will not be told by over-anxious parents that she needs to be on a lead. Those who are ONLY there in beautiful weather, and they usually leave all sorts of god-awful litter from their picnics. most of it unrecycle-able.

I walk those fields 3 times a day and have done for 7 years, and my dog is fine. If you don't like dogs near your child, don't take them to those places. Take them to a gated park.

Sorry for the rant, but if you don't like dogs, don't take your kids to places where dogs go!

On the contrary tabula I keep a close eye on my dogs, and I always leash them if I see a dog I don't know. Not because I don't trust them, but because I don't know how the other dog is - I know a dog that's terrified of black labs (which is what I have) and a dalmatian that is aggressive towards all other male dogs, so until I establish that strange dog is friendly then they don't go off-lead.

I can not, hand on heart, think of one incident where the owner of said strange dog hasn't done the same, or at the least has called their dog back to heel.

YWDNBU. I have fallen out permanently with my neighbour/good friend over this exact issue (even worse he has big young dog off lead in our street and encourages it to jump up at the children, give it a kiss etc. I asked him diplomatically, nicely, firmly to stop this and then I lost it with him. End of friendship.)