To be annoyed by exessive "do not" signs and notices everywhere

[SpoiltMardyCow]

I went to a private members club this evening and noticed an excess of signs. Within eye-view, there must have been 10 signs:

"security cameras in operation" - about 5 of these
"in accordance with health and safety, children are not permitted 1m from the bar"
"No billiards game to be played 15 minutes before closing"
"Don't stand here - bar serving area"
"No smoking"
"It is against the law to knowingly buy drinks for under-age guests"
"Don't drink and drive"
"Abuse of bar staff will not be tolerated"

I swear if aliens landed on earth, they would thing we were a bunch of imbeciles who had to be told what to do all the time.

I find these signs really offensive. We're paying customers and we're constantly being shouted at by ugly signs. Does it drive you crazy too!??

Peel your eyes next time you're in public. You might hoik your bosom too! :)

My boss has a fondness for exclamation marks. e.g. 'Please make sure you hear this door close securely behind you!!!'

Or the rudest one; 'Please make sure you place the ice scoop on top of the machine instead of inside. The reason for this is because your grubby little mitts touch the handle of the scoop which then touches the ice in the machine!!!'

GRUBBY LITTLE MITTS?
And yes, he has fitted that on an A4 sheet, which means it's got tiny writing and that annoys me inordinately too.

The no smoking sign is a legal requirement

There's a sign in a local library that hair washing is not permitted in the ladies room. This suggests an unpleasant incident with a homeless person.

The ones about hot water in the taps and so on are probably there so that some idiot can't sue them if they go and damage themselves. Compensation culture gone mad.

A few (like the no smoking ones and no children in the bar) will be a legal requirement.

The rest are there because of the likelihood of the lack of good manners, courtesy and plain common sense in their customers, which has become evident to the management and staff, and they're fed up with it so they put signs up.

There are rules, and there are 'pretend rules'. I took a photograph of my DD in a play when she was 4. The PE teacher told me I couldn't photograph her. I asked her "why" and she replied: "copyright issues from the play's author". The play was Puss n Boots. Gah!

My favorite signs are in the Middle East. Dubai shopping centre 'no smoking' signs with 3 security guards smoking fags under it.

Or, "no spitting" signs in the souk. Hmmmm, never occurred to me.

My absolute fave on a South Africa A road: "watch out for baboons!" and I was like... "yeah right, as if!!"....and then....a huge gang of baboons rampaged across the road like a bunch of scary thugs. Baboons are properly scary!

It's amazing how one tiny word can really improve the effectiveness of a sign. The word being 'please'.

Like most towns that date back to pre-car times, on-street parking is in short supply here, especially near the town centre where most of it is time limited so that the shoppers and tourists can come and spend their money. So the few streets that don't have restrictions are obviously very popular with us residents. Some of the houses have put up 'No Parking' signs outside their homes in an understandable although legally unenforceable way. I'll circle round again if the only spaces I can see are outside the couple of houses who've added 'please' to their sign. But have no compunction in parking outside the peremptory plain 'No Parking' ones.

Ooo you've reminded me of a lovely pair of roadsigns in a village near here. On the same metal post, one above the other, as the lane leaves the village again, the black and white 'National Speed Limit Applies' one. And underneath it, 'Not Suitable for Motor Vehicles'

YANBU

I especially grind my teeth at the twee ones that purport to be written by inanimate objects, I grew out of my enjoyment of anthropomorphised objects when I was about ten

"I am out of order at the moment"
"please recycle me when empty"

My old breadmaker had a warning on it that I could never take seriously: 'Caution! Overflowing baking tins can lead to smoke development and fire!! Pay attention to correct filling!!!' It was own-brand Lidl and you could almost hear the accent.

Anyone remember the episode of Top Gear where they showed daft road signs? The best one was a big red sign propped at the edge of the road saying 'Sign Not In Use'.

I'm eternally amused by the "For your comfort and convenience, there is no smoking allowed in this train station" type notices.

Err... No. By law, there's no smoking. Stop pretending it's something you do to make your passengers feel better!

(My personal favourite was a bottle of handwash I once saw that said "keep protected from frost" )

We had a spate of signs appear in the office - officious moany 'clean the loo' 'tidy the kitchen' things. FFS we are a tiny team, just talk to each other!! I helpfully put up some really silly ones like 'no roller skating on the stairs'.

I'm sick of the train one about not flushing goldfish, it was funny at first but now it makes me more angry than the sensible ones do.

The rest are there because of the likelihood of the lack of good manners, courtesy and plain common sense in their customers, which has become evident to the management and staff, and they're fed up with it so they put signs up.

....and they are promptly ignored by the ill-mannered, whilst annoying the innocent. Pointless.

One of my favourites was on Stratford (the one in London) station where there was regularly a wheelie bin on the platform with a huge sign on it saying "THIS IS NOT A BIN"

I've remembered another one
"Please do not bring glass bottles into this toilet facility"

a) "toilet facility"???
b) why the toilet facility in particular?
c) who would take a glass bottle into a toilet facility anyway?
d) why not?

I volunteer at a community group and we often discuss trying to cull our signage so it doesn't overwhelm but unfortunatly we often get forced into having it it by other rules - insurance company requirements, council licensing, environmental health, local registration etc
The most ridiculous one we've recently had to put up is "Please do not climb on the roof, danger of falling" - this was after several instances of kids climbing on the roof, upon calling the police we were told that we would be liable if one of them fell off as we hadn't warned them it was dangerous - oh and there was nothing they could do about it even though they had damaged the roof and we had them on cctv.

I live abroad and don't have these incessant signs everywhere; you have to take responsibility for your own actions here.

Though I do remember a funny sign in my local bank reading 'No dogs or other domestic animals permitted inside'. I'm pretty certain none of my cats would be impressed at being dragged to the bank in my lunch hour

Re "no glass in toilets".

It's to stop people carrying in their drinks, being knocked or slipping on the usually wet floor and a nasty accident happening, people used to balanced them on the side of sinks/toilet backs, or a fight breaking out and it being used as a weapon.

I've seen both happen, before the new legislation came in around "No glass outside/in risky areas".

The signs are there so people can be asked to leave.

Some are written so they can be easily translated. As said, across Africa etc, 'Squat toilets' are the norm. Across the EU, paper goes into the bin.

When you mix in all circles, as far back as the 80's, you know that these public (not work ones) signs are needed and how incredibly stupid/ignorant/selfish people are.

I'm reminded of Douglas Adam's wise words, "When designing something completely foolproof, never underestimate the ingenuity of a complete fool".

The ones that annoy me are the trip hazard signs at a perfect height to be unnoticed and tripped over.

(btw, it's a yacht club but not a posh one, obvs):
Was it one of those working-class yacht clubs?

This is, unfortunately, a uniquely Anglo-Saxon disease. I'm always relieved to go to Europe and beyond and find myself free of nonsensical health and safety restrictions and instructions.

Strangely, it's not just nanny state UK. Australia is even worse! From compulsory cycle helmets to plain fag packets, they are at the extreme end of infantilising their population.

Stupid regulations like these make a fool of the law and idiots of the population.

They're there because of the kind of people who think that anything goes, however inconsiderate or downright stupid, if there isn't a law, or sign in this case, saying you can't. You see it a lot on MN.

We reap what we sow.

I wrote to my local convenience store recently because I was so offended by their 3 massive red "Thieves will be prosecuted" signs by their tills.

Really? You were so offended you wrote to them?