to not want my 15 year old DD to have the top of her ear (helix?) pierced?

[mustbemad71]

She is badgering me about it - really not keen but it's her body? Will the hole close up completely if she changes her mind in a few years? Worried it will catch on something as she does a lot of sport and dance - ear rips? AIBU?

look up helix piercing infection....show her the pics....did the trick when my daughter wanted one....the cartilidge damage can be irreversable

She will need to leave it in for 12 weeks but she can get a clear helix to wear that won't be noticeable and will stop it closing. I'd suggest she returns to wherever she gets it done at the end of the holidays and get them to change it for her.

It is very painful and she must not touch it at all.

Potatoface omg horrific pics! I suppose nothing is without risk is it.

This has just made me think absolutely not again! I'd hate to sign the form and give her my blessing for her to end up like those pics. I'm now thinking she'll have to wait until she's 16 in September then on her own head (or ear) be it!

Potatoface2, what an excellent idea, scaring your child with things that are unlikely to happen. Should take this approach on everything they want to do in life. Drive a car, pictures of a crash? Child birth, how about a video of a c-section? Make sure they don't do anything that may cause them even a tiny bit of physical change/harm.

The fact is, if he had told me in advance instead of doing it on the sly I would have warned him. He did it in the 48 hours in the UK between returning from Sri Lanka and going to South America - two parent funded trips and we were pretty cross with his modus operandi.

Cartilage piercings take a LONG time to heal, so if she thinks it'll be ok to remove for PE after only eight weeks' healing, she'll probably have trouble getting the earring back in again.

I've had three cartilage piercings btw, including a helix.

I've got 4 kids, at various points 3 of them wanted piercings and/or tattoos. I refused, told them when they were 18 it was up to them. Only one of them had their ears pierced just before her 18th and within 6 months was fed up with them and let them heal. None of them have tattoos. I assume they are happy now that they weren't allowed to get tattoos, their friends seem to have moved on to getting their tattoos removed now. One of them told me he hates his tattoo now and wishes his parents hadn't let him have it done.

The way I looked at it was if they really wanted it done waiting till 18 wouldn't hurt. If they got piercings done I suppose they can just let them heal, although one of their friends had those stretcher things to make the hole huge and I don't think it will heal, but not so easy with a tattoo.

I suppose when it comes down to it you have to decide how much it matters to you and to them.

Mine is like this. I've had it for 25 years now and never had a single problem with it.

i got mine done when i was about 16/17 rarely wear an earring in it but do occasionally so it doesnt completely close
i know its there but unless you were looking real close up on my ear you wouldnt notice it

I think it's just the fashion at the time - When I was 15 it was belly button piercings, had mine done and only recently taken it out due to being pregnant.
Got a tattoo at 17 too, mum didn't know about that until we were on holiday about 3 years later. I honestly believe if you refuse to allow it they will just go ahead anyway if they're so set on it. At least with your blessing you can manage it and ensure it is done somewhere reputable.

Wtf Beaufort your story makes you appear rather spiteful if I'm being honest. I'm sure you meant well for your son but some care and respect would have been nice. Paying for holidays doesn't amount to that by the way.

I agree with MrsGently. Sometimes, shit happens in life but wrapping your kids in cotton wool is pointless. Providing a piercing is done properly, somewhere reputable not by yourself with an old earring and a mirror like I did is pretty safe. Horror stories aren't going to help anyone and most of the time won't put anyone off anyway.

Seriously, an ear piercing is no big deal, and I'm pretty sure, if I let my DC get one when they're older, it won't lead them on to smoking crack in dodgy alleyways or anything

How about trying an ear cuff first to see if she likes wearing jewellery there? Try one, dd has one like one of the 3 shown here, it slides into place.
i.huffpost.com/gen/1272185/images/o-EAR-CUFF-facebook.jpg

Thanks blankmind great idea - I'll get one for her to try.

I think I may be the exception to the rule re: top-of-ear piercings. Had mine done at 14 or so many, many years ago. Have had a lot of trouble since; it still occasionally collects pus which I need to remove and there's definitely a scar. And this is after I removed it, probably when around 18.

I don't know that it's reasonable to ban her from doing it, but I would try to ensure she went somewhere reputable (good body art establishment, for example) and that she kept on top of aftercare etc. Hot saline solution is a good tip, too.

DD had hers done - she's 12 - no one noticed and is fine for PE.

I think they do it anyway and it's not a big deal!!

My feeling is that girls may get their ears pierced at 16, a traditional ear piercing, and never double piercings or trendy (foolish looking to me) piercings up the ear or nose or tongue. Boys, never. And no tattoos ever, either boys or girls.

blankmind has a good idea with the ear cuff.

obs2016's piercings look nice.

Maybe your dd could show you pictures of what exactly she had in mind and discuss it from there.

I had mine done at 21 and it took a good 4 years to properly heal up. I found it was much better with a ring in - studs caused abcesses.

Unfortuantly I knocked the ring out a year ago and it healed over completely within the week it took me to find it again. This was after 21 years so there is a very small scar but it's not noticeable. I really want to get it reopened but haven't been brave enough yet.

Personally I'd let your DD do it in the summer holidays as its a pretty common piercing now.

Really Little? You don't think a person over 18 has the choice to do what the hell they like with their body?

Odd isn't the it's directed at ear lobe piercing in little girls on here, because they and mum want it, yet talk of a teenage cartilege piercing and it's entirely the opposite. And no, I don't think babies should have their ears pierced but I do find the two diametrically opposing views rather interesting.

BeaufortBelle

You sound like a delight to live with

Your son was an adult at the time and you pushing your opinion on his choices makes you sound very petty. My mother was the same as you are in that her opinion was absolute fact and it just served to make me move out and stop telling her anything.

Probably why he misses us Helena and is coming him tomorrow for the weekend .

Thank you for realising how delightful and supportive our family home is. I'm sorry you don't have a good relationship with your mother.