to not want my 15 year old DD to have the top of her ear (helix?) pierced?

[mustbemad71]

She is badgering me about it - really not keen but it's her body? Will the hole close up completely if she changes her mind in a few years? Worried it will catch on something as she does a lot of sport and dance - ear rips? AIBU?

Beaufort, over the top much, a maiming, how ridiculous.

Trying to dictate to an 18-year-old is just silly.

A 15-year-old...I'm going to say YANBU.

Mermaid yes you are right - she's 16 in September anyway so I can't stop her then.

Obsidian you are right. I was surprised by the fact that there is no legislation in place but I think all reputable salons do require you to give parental consent if under 16.

Beaufort not wanting to generalise here but maybe girls take more care with keeping it clean?! My DD is pretty fastidious and obsessed with skincare etc so I don't have any worries about it getting infected.

I don't know where the last 15 years have gone - not ready for her to grow up yet! Thanks for all your responses.

I was fairly well behaved as a teenager but had wanted a rook piercing for years. I may have snuck off and got it done, only to be discovered by my mum when she put my hair behind my ear. She forgave me... eventually. I still have the piercing though, it's almost invisible unless I have my hair up and will never be a problem for work.

beaufort all the crack smoking i did probably made it seem less of a big deal

I had my helix pierced when I was 14 and have just removed it 14 years later. The hole is still there but is getting smaller.

For what it's worth, not a single person has noticed I've removed it, so it wasn't very noticeable or memorable in the first place.

RochelleGoyle No I don't think it was letting him suffer out of spite to be honest. I think it was letting him learn from his mistake. I certainly wasn't going to give my permission for him to make a hole in his body and stick a foreign body through it before he came of age to make that decision for himself. He did make the decision, it was clearly the wrong decision, not properly researched and it didn't properly heal due his own lack of research and respect for the wound as an adult.

And obviously if there had been a boil or abscess or very nasty redness and swelling I'd have ensured he sought proper medical care. But it wasn't like that it was "aw, my ear's sore again mum, can you get me some cream or something". "er, no I can't, you were old enough to have it pierced, you are old enough to go to the chemist/doctor/back to the piercer/ to get it sorted out."

Are you sure it will be OK with school? My kids' school is clear that one piercing in each ear, in 'normal' place is all that is allowed.
Check the uniform rules first!

Ironically, BeaufortBelle has made me feel better about allowing 15yo daughter get it done last week.

I don't really know one way or the other but I do know what I was doing at 15 and I will count my blessings if helix piercing is the worst of my worries. Buying time till the summer seems sensible though and it gives lots of time for it to be well thought through.
I will however, be remembering the "credits in the mum bank" theory for sure, thank you PP!

I would say no until she is 16 .

I think that it is in breach of school rules but it isn't enforced. It's an all girls school and I'd say that a large proportion of girls have double piercings in their lobes and/or helix done from 15 onwards. It's in fashion ATM isn't it?

I just didn't want it to leave a permanent hole if she changes her mind. As someone down thread said - an unwanted nose piercing can look like a giant blackhead!

She's doing GCSE dance - her teacher may not be happy but I think others have taped their ears. However not necessary if I make her wait until the summer.

YANBU to ask. My entire family is pierced and tattoed. I pierce myself.
She is 14, that counts as a body piercing, so you have to give permission.
If her school allow it, if she doesnt do sports or swimming, then she can get away with it.

But.
The cartilage piercings can up to take a year to heal, especially those at the top of the ear, as we sleep on them and disturb them.
So she wont be able to just take it out.
If the school are ok with it, and she has to go swimming, she needs to seal it with a product called Skin Seal used by divers.
She also has to do that if she dyes her hair, or she can have a sever reaction to the dye.

If she takes it out the skin will heal over. The cartilage underneath will always have a hole, it doesnt heal.

Waiting until summer also lets the XH get his head around it - or I suppose 5 months to have a go at me and imply I'm a crap mother?!

Thanks Champale - good tip about skinseal stuff.

Ok Beaufort, it's just that your original comment came across as a teeny bit smug. Personally, whether I approved or disapproved of his decision, I would have told him if I had any reason to suspect an allergy to certain metals.

I had mine done at 18. I took it out within a couple of months because I didn't like it. I'm 35 now and it still gets infected and sore about twice a year. No matter what I do. The skin has healed but there still seems to be a hole in the cartilage. I can definitely feel it damage to the tissue there.

I did mine at 15 on the quiet. I still love it, I've only had tiny studs in though. It's the one that always gets caught by the hairdresser though.

I got mine done at 19 and love it. Make sure she gets it done with a needle and cleans it with salt water, not that shitty chemical solution they sell in places like Claire's.

Also, cartilage piercings take minimum of 3-6 months to heal. So even if you make her wait until July, it won't be healed enough for her to remove it regularly by September.

I got mine done at 19 and love it. Make sure she gets it done with a needle and cleans it with salt water, not that shitty chemical solution they sell in places like Claire's.

Also, cartilage piercings take minimum of 3-6 months to heal. So even if you make her wait until July, it won't be healed enough for her to remove it regularly by September.

I have had a helix piercing twice. Still have one, the other closed up with no scarring at all. In fact the only piercing I've had that never closed up is the typical lobe ones.

Beau, I don't understand why you said your son maimed himself, but openly admit that you wear earrings. Did you 'maim' yourself as well? Why is it ok for you to have pierced ears, but not your adult son?