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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make nanny and DC travel economy?

724 replies

BooAvenue · 17/01/2016 19:10

We are planning a trip to NY in the autumn and plan to take nanny, DD who will be 6 and DS who will be 16 months.

DH and I will be flying business, partially because I am a crap flyer despite flying frequently and partly because we have quite a lot of air miles that we want to make the most of.

The plan is to bring nanny on the 5 day trip so she can help out with the travelling and babysit for us on three of the nights. I've discussed it with her and she's very eager to come, and the plan is she will have 2 days and 2 evenings completely free to do as she pleases, plus TOIL of 6 days. We will of course pay for all hotels/flights/meals out and she's welcome to join in with us on her days off if she wishes. She also gets her own room whilst we have a 2 bed family room.

The difference between economy and club is about 2.5k per ticket, which whilst we are not poor is still a fair chunk of money.

So AIBU to fly business whilst she flies economy? And will DS need his own seat or will he need to go on one of our laps?

OP posts:
PeridotPassion · 17/01/2016 22:27

I'd ignore the mosre extreme of the snipers here. Jealously, end of

A different opinion does not automatically = jealousy.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 17/01/2016 22:28

Pandas if ever anyone needed a nanny it's you. I hold my hands up and admit I judged you from your first post. I'm so embarrassed and ashamed right now for doing so.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 17/01/2016 22:29

Rose ShockShock

This is awkward...

MrsDeVere · 17/01/2016 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlatOnTheHill · 17/01/2016 22:30

So you are quite happy to dump your kids off in "cattle class" and let the nanny look after 3 of them in squashed up economy on a long haul flight.
Why dont you take turns with the nanny?

You sound vile im honest. I would be embarrassed if i were you.

ImperialBlether · 17/01/2016 22:31

SuperFlyHigh, the result is always the same - complete bedlam with insults flying around faster than you can pour yourself another gin! Always really funny but there's an odd tone to the OPs' posts that makes me disbelieve them.

Lucylongcat · 17/01/2016 22:34

On the one hand, it does seem a little cold and detached and I feel a bit tut tutty about it. On the other, it sounds amazing, and I'm incredibly jealous.

I'm aware that these two thoughts are totally contradictory, but I definitely have them both. I'm leaning towards amazing.

If every time you had an option between spending time with your family or ditching them for luxury, you choose luxury, that would be a bit sad. But as long as you're getting lots of lovely family time in, a bit of self spoiling seems fine to me.

sugar21 · 17/01/2016 22:34

Oh dear I've just seen this thread.
Erm Upstairs Downstairs comes to mind

ShhhBeQuiet · 17/01/2016 22:35

Flat I've been noticing your posts on a few threads. You are quite feisty aren't you Grin Confused

MidniteScribbler · 17/01/2016 22:36

Why on earth did you not tell the flight attendant to sort it out and get the child shifted???

She tried the 'no English' route first, then when the flight attendant tried hand gestures, she burst in to tears and had a big tantrum herself. I didn't even want to sit next to her by this point. The flight attendant did what they could by bringing me bottles of first class wine while I stood in the galley, and I ran in to an acquaintance at the airport who was flying on the same plane, so they came up with me and we made a good dent in the first class bar for most of the flight.

rosewithoutthorns · 17/01/2016 22:36

Apologies if my postings are rather blunt Paul, I have heard that a blunt person is rude and obnoxious and has no "filter" (word of the moment) Im guilty, I'm kind though.

Finallyonboard · 17/01/2016 22:38

I would NEVER be away from my DC during a flight. If something went wrong (even a little turbulence) I'd be worrying whether she's OK. Either all go economy or all go first class.

PandasRock · 17/01/2016 22:38

Paul, thank you for saying so, but (in the nicest possible way!) it makes no difference to me whether other people approve or not. I do what I need to do to give my dc (and me, but mostly my dc) as reasonable a life as we can. That sounds so 'woe is us' and our life really isn't like that! We have a fabulous life overall, and are very lucky to be able to do so. But the daily grind and logistics were really getting me down. And so we found a solution.

As I said earlier, I honestly don't get why people judge other people's solutions. It is surely not worth your headspace. And, as hopefully my post has shown, you cannot possible know the full reasons behind why someone might have the lifestyle they do, just from a snapshot.

I am sure we have been judged many a time for having our nanny with us on holiday. She likes us (and loves the dc), we like her - in a different situation I could honestly say we would be friends, and so having her on holiday is no problem at all.

Of course we can manage without her. And Dh and I are both full hands on parents. But when your 11 year old still needs to hold hands everywhere you go, and needs full help in the toilet, and your 8 year old is so anxious she cannot be left alone while you help the 11 year old, and you have a 3 year old too, well, sometimes an extra responsible pair of hands is worth their weight in gold.

BerylStreep · 17/01/2016 22:39

I think Imperial may have a point. This seems to be a very frequently occurring problem amongst MNers.

FlatOnTheHill · 17/01/2016 22:40

Just read that you dont normally take the kids on holiday Confused
Why are you taking nanny? Forget flight anxiety, we all get a touch of that. Its an excuse. You cant be bothered. You sound selfish.
You are something else! Why did you have kids.
And no im not jealous, ive flown business many times.

ShhhBeQuiet · 17/01/2016 22:40

British Airways has advice about how you go about booking your kids into a different cabin from yourself. There is no mention of nannies at all. You can just hand your kid (aged 5 -12) over to the BA staff at the boarding gate Shock

..if only I'd known Grin

PandasRock · 17/01/2016 22:43

That's the unaccompanied minor service, Shh. It's a great service for those who need it. I remember flying unaccompanied when I had just turned 5 (along with my older brothers, aged 8 and 9). It was brilliant! We had a lovely stewardess looking after us.

Funandgamesandfun · 17/01/2016 22:43

I think it sounds fine but buy a third seat. I would do it if I could but the ages my kids are niw I think they would kill us. As for holidaying without kids, yes, guilty as charged. We have one blissful kid free week away every year. We take them away too on family holidays, but earmark a week in stone every September for just us 3. Bliss.

Iusedtobecarmen · 17/01/2016 22:43

I cant figure out whether OP and other posters on here live some kind of sleb lifestyle which enables them to have all the fun bits of having kids and pass them to someone else when they want some peace. Or whether they are almost royal and children live in a different part of the house and brought to them all presented nicely. But do no menial childrearing.

rosewithoutthorns · 17/01/2016 22:45

I think that any relationship is built on trust and kindness, no matter what or why the person is in your life, someone that looks after my children when i can't is wonderful and i am forever grateful of that.

Bogeyface · 17/01/2016 22:48

Just you 3 funandgames? You username is apt then!

Bogeyface · 17/01/2016 22:48

Your*

Babylove2015 · 17/01/2016 22:49

Considering you usually go away without your kids; you won't be seated with them during the flights, and you are only having two full days/ evenings with them anyway. Save yourself the hassle and leave them at home.

You say you aren't interested in doing child type tourist activities and worry your kids will be bored. Well... Is a 16 month old going to appreciated New York? No of course not. Is the 6 year old? How many fun things will she be doing? New York for most people involves loads of walking, shopping, museums and nightclubs.

Your husband will be away for three months and I'm sure the kids will miss him and he will miss the kids. My suggestion, two seperate holidays. Take the kids to Euro Disney or somewhere family ordinated for a few days without the nanny. Then have the NY trip for just you and your husband.

When your kids grow up, they won't remember all the toys and money spent on them. However, I guarantee you, they will remeber the amount of time you spent on them. And if in yours and your husband's case it's lack of time. I'd hate to be you when they are adults thinking back to your parenting..

And childrens holidays might seem boring but it's about watching the fun and excitement it gives them and that in itself is magic and pure happiness right there.

NewBallsPlease00 · 17/01/2016 22:51

It sounds fine- some airlines don't allows kids in business anyway
I do however echo everyone saying buy 16mo a seat

FlatOnTheHill · 17/01/2016 22:52

ShhhhbeQuiet
Only sometimes if something on here gets my goat.
Im a pussy cat really Grin

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