To think that MIL is being ridiculous

[BasinHaircut]

DH has just had a call from his mother who has apparently just applied to a charity for a place in the London marathon.

MIL is 59, does absolutely no exercise, and I guarantee will not go for one single run unless someone goes with her. She has signed up with her 60yo partner, who works long hours so wouldn't be able to run on a week day before 7:30pm, so I have no idea when they think they will train.

Her partner has also just spent the best part of a month suffering v badly with his asthma, so hardly the time to start crash marathon training I'd have thought?

Am I right in thinking that any sane person planning on running the marathon would have started training before now?

We are a bit worried that firstly, MIL could cause herself serious physical harm, and secondly, that they are going to ask people to sponsor them (they have to raise around £3k between them) and not do it properly, or at all. The upshot of that being that they are letting the charity down and denying someone who would actually do it the chance?

Mm. I have walked 26miles without training. This was hilly ground as well. I was as stiff as a board the next day, but I did it and didn't injure myself.
HOWEVER, I was wearing proper walking boots, not trainers. The support is different. And I was 17. I wouldn't attempt to do that now without training and I am 10 years younger than your mil. In my experience you can do most of the things you did when young as you age, but you do have to take training more seriously or you will hurt yourself. I think if she tries to do this she will either give up fairly early on or injure herself. Or both.

Oh stop sneering, OP. Yes, walking it will still be tough, but it's a flat course and there will be literally thousands of other people going at her pace.
I've done scores of these events, and people of all abilities get round.
If she and FIL have got to raise £3,500 between them, that's a hell of a lot of money that will be going to a good cause.
Their doing the marathon doesn't affect you, so why not just sit back and let them get on with it?

Even walking a marathon is hard. I have done the Moonwalk twice, the same distance. I trained for a few months, you need to build up the distance slowly and learn to keep the pace up too. I did them both in 6.5 hours, the same as my ex dh did running the marathon.

It is all about consistency and stamina. She will need to train. The charity will support their runners and send training programmes.

I do think from what you have said that she is nuts though.

You write so snidely about her, I'd stay well out of it as your attitude to her shines through what you say.

I'm already mentally rooting for her.

Isn't it strange that some posters see one thing in a thread, and others see something else. I don't see snidey. If one of my overweight unfit unmotivated 62 yr old friends suddenly put herself in for a Marathon but had a 2 week holiday shortly before, I would be thinking the same as the OP.

I would encourage, I would find out my friend's reasoning for doing it, but if she just thought she'd roll up on the day and stroll 26 miles I would be too.

I don't think I'm being snide at all.

Not really the spirit? The point is to raise money for charity. If she does that it's a done deal. Obviously there is all the camaraderie about training with mates, making friends on the day etc but it isn't the part that brings in money.

Does she have a track record of announcing insane things eg holiday to climb Everest? Because this is just plain nuts.

If she wants to raise money for charity then why doesnt she just do that instead of taking up a place that someone could actually use, and putting extra strain on the first aiders around the course?

I've done the Moonwalk, in about six and a half hours, but did do quite a lot of training. I don't quite get your point about her walking the Marathon - however anyone covers the 26 miles, it's a great achievement. Obviously I don't know your MIL but is it possible that she and her partner have discussed it and decided that it's a challenge they would like to take on together? The charity won't care how long she takes or whether she walks if she raises the money.

I share your concerns but at this stage I think you should be supportive in helping her to achieve her goal.

I run, not marathon distance (it's just not for me) and it's difficult to run anything over 10k without training in my experience. That said, it is possible to train for a marathon in three months, admittedly it's advisable to have a base level of fitness first though. Why don't you encourage her to train to walk it? Trust me, walking that distance is no mean feat and if she was planning to walk or jog/walk she would stand a better chance of completing the distance on the day if what you say about her fitness is true.

The problem is that training to walk takes longer in a way - obviously it takes a longer time to walk 5 miles than to run it - so it's quite an investment of time either way.

If she wants to do it though, then your role is to support and encourage her, not point out how and why she will fail.

Just let them get on with it. They might not get a place. She can walk it. Or she might drop out. Either way, let them get on with it.

I don't think you are, either. I walk several miles a day. I'd have no problem with a 10k walk with preparation but a 13 mile walk would be beyond me, never mind 26. It's a very different proposition from shopping or taking the dog for a walk.

Also, not sure how the holiday is a barrier? I, and lots of other people, run on holiday...

going no I don't think it's in the spirit of it.

If I sponsor someone to do something then it should IMO be a challenge, and a serious commitment. Otherwise it is just collecting donations. If I'm donating to a charity, I'll donate to one that means something to me (or them), not one that will simply allow someone to do something they fancy doing right now.

If MIL wants to collect for charity (and she doesn't) then good on her. But she can go and stand in the high street shaking a collection tin to do that. From what I can gather, charity bit has absolutely no bearing on what she is doing. It just needs to be done to enable her to get a place.

And yes she has form for announcing she is going to do x and not following through. Not usually marathons and the like though.

And I'm not knocking people who chose random charities to get a place in the marathon because they are passionate about running and are putting the effort in.

I'm just saying that the charity but is a complete red herring here.

*bit

But it will be a challenge? You go out and walk 26 miles and come and tell me it wasn't a challenge.

Lots of people pick random charities to get marathon places. Usually you are more likely to get a place via some of the less well known ones so it's quite common to pick totally randomly. The charity doesn't care though, whatever your motivation and whether you have heard of the cause before, they still get the money and you still get to complete the challenge. It's a win win.

I see both sides here.

OP, you do sound both exasperated and like you have very little time or respect for her. Let her get on with it, don't bring it up but if she does just an airy "oh you must be doing a lot of hours of running a week, how are you finding it?".

Yes, it's a bit daft, and I know what you mean about the donations, when I've sponsored someone for marathons in the past its because of the effort they were putting in in the lead up as well, not just to turn up on the day and have a go at walking, as anyone (without a disability) could do.

But you never know, she just might take it seriously. In fact, is a little bit of you worried that she might do it and then you'd have to admit that she has accomplished something pretty amazing?

I did London 5 years ago through a charity place. I got the place in late October, and therefore trained for almost six months. I was unfit, starting from scratch (and was early 40s). I ran a half marathon in 2.5 hours in early Feb that year, but I realised there was no way I was going to be able to run the whole thing, so I went for a walk/run strategy with about 2.5 months to go. In training I was doing 18 miles on my weekly long run for the last 4-5 weeks on this strategy.

It still took me 6 hours to complete London, and I had given myself a fighting chance with training.

Knowing I did put the training in and how hard that was - there is no way now, even with having retained a level of fitness, I would contemplate getting fit enough for 26.2 miles in only just over 3 months.

And those of you say just walk it - it is still really really hard to go that far walking without proper training. The strain it puts on your body is immense. I couldn't walk for two days after, had blisters on blisters, and lost a toe nail! And as for runners nipples....

I admire everyone who raises money by putting themselves through a marathon, but your mil quite frankly sounds bonkers. And is taking the place of someone who will finish in decent time and has bothered to put the effort required for training in.

magpie yes it will be a challenge if she takes on the challenge. The issue is that I don't think she will. Just seems like such a waste.

I have lots of time and respect for her Aye, just not for this, as I know her and know she won't do it. There will be excuse reason after reason why she couldn't run on this and that day and so when she drops out she will have already convinced herself that it simply wasn't possible because she had so many set backs. But those set backs are likely to be that she was a bit tired that evening, or needed a lie in on the day she should have done her long run that week.

If she does it I will be amazed but more importantly incredibly proud of her. We have been trying to encourage her to do various, less extreme things for years now to boost her health, confidence, social life etc. But she hasn't done any of them.i really don't think that this is where she should be starting. As I said up thread if she said she wasn't going to apply for a place next year I would feel much more positive about it.

And yes i might even commit to doing it with her!

Well if she has form for not following through why all the angst? She clearly won't do it in your opinion.

Because she will be letting the charity down? all of the people who cough up to sponsor her? Because she might do herself an injury before she gives up?

Because Going If she's going to be badgering for money from people for it, those people will probably be giving it with the expectation that MIL will be putting in about 10 hours a week of hard-graft training.

If she doesn't bother, then people will (rightfully, IMO) be a bit annoyed and feel a bit duped.

Yes it all goes to charity, but they may have given to MIL in favour of their own charities, or given less to other acquaintances who actually put in the effort. So I can totally see OP's point with that.

I don't know why the OP is getting such a hard time. People die attempting marathons. And she can't just walk it if she isn't going to train - I did the moonwalk as a reasonably fit 28 year old and trained pretty hard for it, and the last 3-4 miles were still really really hard work and I was in a ton of pain. A marathon really isn't something you can attempt on a whim.