To think that MIL is being ridiculous

[BasinHaircut]

DH has just had a call from his mother who has apparently just applied to a charity for a place in the London marathon.

MIL is 59, does absolutely no exercise, and I guarantee will not go for one single run unless someone goes with her. She has signed up with her 60yo partner, who works long hours so wouldn't be able to run on a week day before 7:30pm, so I have no idea when they think they will train.

Her partner has also just spent the best part of a month suffering v badly with his asthma, so hardly the time to start crash marathon training I'd have thought?

Am I right in thinking that any sane person planning on running the marathon would have started training before now?

We are a bit worried that firstly, MIL could cause herself serious physical harm, and secondly, that they are going to ask people to sponsor them (they have to raise around £3k between them) and not do it properly, or at all. The upshot of that being that they are letting the charity down and denying someone who would actually do it the chance?

[Concerned97]

YANBU, I have done the moonwalk (the actual 'walking' marathon, during the night), firstly people say "oh you are only walking", like its a breeze!

But walking for 26 miles needs serious training, blisters after 10 miles are no fun for one thing, so even if they "just walk it" I hope they train.

When you sponsor some one (IMO) you are sponsoring them to train p, put effort in etc. So if I had a friend who was going from couch to 26 miles, then I would think that they warranted a good size sponsorship for such a massive effort and donate accordingly.

I too feel that they will just be a drain on resources on the day, if they have not properly trained.

It really isn't in the spirit of the event.

[BalthazarImpresario]

I've walked 2 marathons, trust me it is doing a marathon. It is very demanding even at a walk so she needs to be realistic about training.
I've done one injured but refused to give up because of sponsorship.

[Witchend]

I agree with OP. Of she really wanted to do something for charity then she could do another run or something else.
It sounds like she wants to do it because it's the thing to do and impress people.
Op hasn't said it's a charity she's supported for years, has a particular interest in etc.

I have, in the past, had a good level of fitness. Could play hard tennis matches all day, but know I would have struggled to get myself into shape from that level to marathon level.
I suspect that the mil hasn't got a clue how much effort she'll need to put in, and will say "but you know I walk to the shops and back every day" in bewilderment when asked.

It is selfish because it's potentially leaving someone out who would put in the effort. It would also be dispiriting for the charity. I'm connected with one that has spaces and the children from the charity love to cheer them on and see them finish and ask what time they got.

And it's not ageist. I'd say exactly the same for someone in their 20s who was unfit and not looking like they'd train enough. And I've a friend on her 80s who runs the supermarathons.

[Migrant2]

The charities generally ask you to promise a minimum sponsorship amount, usually at least £1500, often £2000 or more. If you don't raise that much you are contracturally bound to pay the balance yourself.

[Blueredballoon]

I used to manage the marathon places for a national charity. If she is as unfit and inexperienced as you say, they're really unlikely to offer her a place- charities have to pay a lot for these places and so they only want serious people who will commit to the fundraising for them and not drop out. We mostly went with people who were experienced runners, fundraisers and/ or who were very invested in the cause.

That said, we also had lots of people who didn't 'run' it but who raised a hell of a lot for us. I waited for a long time on the finishing line for someone who walked it and was brilliant. I'm really sure the charity will be able to make a sensible decision about her application.

[Katenka]

My dad is the same age. I would be concerned if he decided to do this too.

Because of his weight and level of fitness. I have no doubt he could walk it. But I would be concerned.

He did the gnr the year he turned 50. And trained for a year to do it. So I know it would take him a long time to train for this.

But there isn't anything you can do.

[BasinHaircut]

Thanks for all of the responses.

Brief update- apparently they have been given places, not just applied. So they are really doing this. It's not a charity they are involved with or have any particular ties to, it's just one that still had places to spare. They have to raise £3.5k between them.

So ok, walking 26+ miles is still 'doing a marathon' I'll concede that, but IMO she will still be unprepared for it. In fact, after reading this thread I'm thinking they would be much better training to actually walk it, rather than doing a half arsed attempt at training to run it.

SIL has just called to speak to DH about it as she is concerned too. SIL runs half marathons and BIL triathlons and they think she is being ridiculous. We will leave it to them to discuss it with MIL as they are much better placed.

[RJnomore1]

Basin why are you not running with her? You sound really sneery and dismissive. I've you're going to try to say you're genuinely concerned then go do something constructive and help her train. You said she needs someone to run with in your op.

Although perhaps bil and sil are better placed to do that too.

So what if she's never done it before she is going to give it a go and all I can say is good on her.

[2ndSopranosRule]

Well, aside from the fact that applying for q place doesn't necessarily mean that you get a place, I'm really not sure why you think this is anything to do with you.

I've signed up for a 10k. I'm not unfit as I swim but I've never really done any running. People are falling over themselves to laugh at me including my dm - who is horrendously unfit - and it's really upsetting me. I want a challenge and to raise money for a charity close to my heart and they can all piss off

[BasinHaircut]

RJ firstly why should I? It's not my responsibility to make sure she trains and doesn't injure herself. Also, I didn't say that she didn't have anyone to run with, she can train with her DP.

Secondly I have neither the time nor the inclination to train for a marathon, and if I did I'd run it myself. But personally I know it's too much for me to take on.

Thirdly I have plantar fasciitis so I'm not running anywhere right now.

Im not sneering at her, im just gauging whether she is being realistic or not. I don't think she has any appreciation of just how far 26 miles is. As someone said up thread she is probably thinking that if she can walk to the shop and back then she could walk it no problem.

Maybe she could and I am underestimating her but I really don't think she appreciates the impact it will have on her body whether she walks or runs.

[RJnomore1]

You are sneering. She's being ridiculous. Anyone sane etc etc etc. and in your first post you detailed reasons why it's hard for her to train with her partner yet any suggestion you do something supportive and constructive is met with immediate "why should i"

It's downright nasty and don't bother pretending it's concern you wanted a bunch of us to laugh and point at mils stupidity along with you. I won't do it. I think it's great she wants to give it a go especially surrounded by such negativity.

for second soprano, well done, you might find the couch to 5k and park run threads on here useful.

[Roussette]

Basin she sounds as daft as a brush! I am similar age, I go to the gym 2-3 times a week and I just know I wouldn't be capable without a long time training for it and actually devoting my life to it, and I wouldn't want to because I dont have the time. Not sure I could manage a half marathon, let alone 26 miles and I'm not a couch potato much

In answer to your OP, she is being beyond unrealistic.

[Roussette]

I don't think Basin is sneering at all. If I had an unfit friend saying she was going to do this but ws the sort not to take it seriously and train, I would be saying WTF. It's a huge commitment to run a marathon. Basin is saying she doesn't want to do it herself (why should she?) and knowing MIL as she does, she doesn't think she has a clue has that commitment.

[lostinmiddlemarch]

It's not your problem.

They can walk it, if that. Not a huge issue if they don't really do it right. The money is going to the right place.

[LaContessaDiPlump]

I don't think op sounds sneepy, more exasperated at the fact that MIL and FIL are planning in all seriousness to do something which a moment'so thought indicates they won't be able to do, given their current fitness levels and training status. It is supremely irritating when you're obliged to watch people delude themselves, especially when you're also obliged to make encouraging noises about them doing it as any criticism would be considered mean.

[BasinHaircut]

RJ have a

I don't want anyone to point and laugh at her. In RL though people might if she bigs it up, badgers people for sponsorship and then pulls out at 3 miles.

2nd good on you. Genuinely. You sound determined and focused. I don't think that is the case here though, she doesn't want the challenge, she has zero interest in fitness/sport etc. She has no connection to the charity. It really is the most bizarre and unexpected thing she could have announced. Trying new things is not her thing.

[Goingtobeawesome]

If you accept people can walk it why are you still saying she won't be doing it properly? .

[Postchildrenpregranny]

I agree withlacontessa
My extremely fit ( serious hill walker) daughter did a half marathon at age 24.She said it was really hard .She has also done the walk round Manchester.I think that is about 26 miles Admittedly they have to complete in 24 hours but she says it's really challenging .I do hope they will cough up the money themselves if they dont manage it or a charity will lose out

[BasinHaircut]

going because I'm not convinced she would even manage that.

And I know she won't train.

Turning up on the day and having a go at walking 26 miles, even if she manages it, is not really in the spirit of the thing, especially if people are shelling out a collective £3.5k for it

[Roussette]

And she honestly could get an injury from it if she hasn't trained. I know marathon runners and walkers and I know how much training they do. MIL is being ridiculous. If it were my MIL, to be honest I would be trying to talk some sense into her.

[BasinHaircut]

Rousette SIL and BIL are better placed to do that.

If she asks my opinion I will tell her that I am surprised and suggest that she tries to defer until next year to give her more time to get in shape.

That's the other thing, by the end of the year both her and her DP will be retired, they would have all the time in the world to take on this challenge. Why they have applied last minute to do it this year is beyond me.

[juneau]

She is being ridiculous, but so what? She can walk it, so can he, and maybe it will spur them on to have a more active lifestyle in future? Let them be.

[BoffinMum]

Reminds me of Jade Goody.

www.theguardian.com/uk/2006/apr/25/healthandwellbeing.lifeandhealth

They are total idiots.

[molyholy]

RJ firstly why should I? It's not my responsibility to make sure she trains and doesn't injure herself

This exactly. You have just said it yourself. With the greatest of respect - dafuq has it got to do with you?

[molyholy]

Aimed at OP btw not at you RJ