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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that MIL is being ridiculous

113 replies

BasinHaircut · 16/01/2016 22:53

DH has just had a call from his mother who has apparently just applied to a charity for a place in the London marathon.

MIL is 59, does absolutely no exercise, and I guarantee will not go for one single run unless someone goes with her. She has signed up with her 60yo partner, who works long hours so wouldn't be able to run on a week day before 7:30pm, so I have no idea when they think they will train.

Her partner has also just spent the best part of a month suffering v badly with his asthma, so hardly the time to start crash marathon training I'd have thought?

Am I right in thinking that any sane person planning on running the marathon would have started training before now?

We are a bit worried that firstly, MIL could cause herself serious physical harm, and secondly, that they are going to ask people to sponsor them (they have to raise around £3k between them) and not do it properly, or at all. The upshot of that being that they are letting the charity down and denying someone who would actually do it the chance?

OP posts:
RJnomore1 · 16/01/2016 23:24

Some charities have walking teams for the marathon.

I don't think places are allocated by charities based on speed. Some might but not the ones I know of.

AnthonyBlanche · 16/01/2016 23:25

She may well be being ridiculous but just let her get on with it.

Fizrim · 16/01/2016 23:26

Charities can get confirmed places, which they can give to people (often for minimum sponsorship).

slithytove · 16/01/2016 23:27

Wish her luck, offer sponsorship, and blister plasters when she needs them. Keep your misgivings to yourself. Whether you are proved right or not. Just be supportive. Helps no one to be doubting.

slithytove · 16/01/2016 23:28

And if she doesn't get a place, offer to do a 10k or something with her. Great she wants to get fitter and fundraise.

Original poster
BasinHaircut · 16/01/2016 23:30

They are not planning on walking it RJ, they have told the charity they will do it in under 6 hours.

They very much think they will run it.

OP posts:
Chicagomd · 16/01/2016 23:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lasaraleen · 16/01/2016 23:33

26 miles is a pretty long way to walk for someone who does no exercise at all and hasn't done any training. Even "just walking" is quite an undertaking!

BackforGood · 16/01/2016 23:39

I agree Lasaraleen.
If you aren't regularly walking long distances, then 26miles + is a very long way.
Not many people who aren't walking regularly walk at more than about 3 miles an hour, so it's got to be 9 hours I'd have said, if they do it.

ouryve · 16/01/2016 23:40

6 miles is a pretty hefty walk for someone not used to walking, never mind 26!

RJnomore1 · 16/01/2016 23:49

Well are you going to offer to help her train or not? You said yourself she don't run without someone else.

My point about the walking teams was to someone else who said charities wouldn't want walkers.

Wolpertinger · 16/01/2016 23:53

Applying for a place doesn't mean you will get it. If she's applied to an experienced London marathon charity they do check up to make sure you are on track and not wasting their time - likely she will drop out when the endless mail about training schedules drops through her door.

NotnowNigel · 16/01/2016 23:57

At my fittest, thirty something self, the longest I walked in one day was 20 miles, and that was bloody knackering pretty tiring.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 16/01/2016 23:59

I used to run three times a week, 5k at a time. I did a 10 mile walk and it nearly killed me! My legs were burning and soooooo stiff at the end of it. It will be really hard and your MIL may not manage it all, but if she has applied it is because she believes in herself, so she will not thank you for doubting her.

Original poster
BasinHaircut · 17/01/2016 00:03

RJ why am I running with her?

OP posts:
HicDraconis · 17/01/2016 00:05

YANBU - at 59, unfit without a history of regular long hikes she'll have real difficulty going into it cold. If she thinks she can run it in under 6h without already having started to train then she's not only being ridiculous but if she tries she may injure herself.

On the plus side the London marathon is massively oversubscribed so she's unlikely to get a place even if she applies. On the down side if the charity believe in her 6h estimate she may get a place which someone else who can actually run the thing (or walk/jog) could have used.

I am a (relatively) fit 40 something, I do 8h minimum cardio exercise a week and I don't think I could finish a 26mile run in under 6h even if I started training now.

jorahmormont · 17/01/2016 00:19

YANBU OP.

All you can really do I suppose is hope she doesn't get the place. Maybe suggest a smaller event? I did a half marathon a few years back and had hoped to do the Marathon. Health issues have gotten in the way and yes, I probably could walk it - over a couple of days with a few stints on crutches/in a wheelchair - but I'd rather leave those spaces for the charity runners who apply year after year and train to get great times, because it's such a big thing. This year I'm doing a 5k fun run (Big Fun Run do them all over the country, if she's looking for an event?) and just hoping I can run maybe half of it.

It's lovely that she wants to do something for charity, but sometimes you have to put aside the bucket list element of running a marathon and realise that a) you're not fit enough, b) you're not a marathon runner and don't have time to become a marathon runner and c) there are people who are training like crazy and won't manage to get a spot because they're taken by people like the MIL.

Of course, I might be totally wrong and the MIL might raise thousands for the charity - but from experience, people are more likely to donate if they think the person is at least capable of taking on the challenge.

mouldycheesefan · 17/01/2016 00:45

Some things yOu can tell people, some things they have to find out for themselves.
She may learn the hard way in this one.
Downplay it, don't bring it up and just say hmmmm when they do.

Walkingintheraindrops · 17/01/2016 00:47

Generally you would start training in January for a April marathon. Ideally not from scratch but it's not unusual

Dollymixtureyumyum · 17/01/2016 04:21

My husband who is very fit and does all sorts throughout the year apply a every yea and has only got in though the ballet twice so I would not worry to much Op.
Maybe try to convince her to blind up gradually with a 6k, 10k run, then a half marathon and then a marathon. I did this and got to the half marathon which I did train for a lot but after that said i would never do a marathon it was bloody hard work. It was all the waiting around I could not stand either at the start.
My guess is from what you have said she will do a 6k and leave it there.

Dollymixtureyumyum · 17/01/2016 04:21

Build not blind Smile

daisychain01 · 17/01/2016 06:45

Applying to a charity is different to applying direct because the charity get confirmed places (no ballot involved) so your MILs chances of a place are higher. Hopefully she won't get in but if she convinces them she can do it in under 6 hours then they could feasibly give her a place. Hopefully not, mainly because of the genuine health risks of a marathon on minimal training. Even if she starts now, without any general conditioning, 4 months is barely adequate at her age. If she had started training or even cross - training a year ago, even then I'd say she stood half a chance!

Unfortunately the downside of these big events is the fact novice runners get caught up in marathon fever and haven't got a clue, in reality, how far 26.2 miles is!

I'd encourage her (or get your DH to) to have a general health check at her GP (this is always recommended for any new exercise regime) eg BP, heart rate and chat about any previous health history. If she won't do that much, then quite frankly just leave her to it. No convincing some people.

Soooosie · 17/01/2016 06:55

The likelihood is that they will walk or do a mix of walking and running. So what if it takes her 5 or 6 hours.

But actually she's only 59, not 80!

Training wise all she needs to do is one increasingly long run weekly (starting very short) plus three short weekly runs. It's fine to run after 7.30pm, although she might need a torch.

Soooosie · 17/01/2016 07:00

A marathon in 6 hours is only 4.3 miles an hour. A rate of nearly 14 minutes for one mile - which is a speed walking pace.

GiraffesAndButterflies · 17/01/2016 07:09

If she's using JustGiving or something like that then people will be paying when they sponsor, not when she does it. Sponsorship isn't really like it used to be when people pledged first and then you only collected from them when you'd done the thing. So I don't really see that the charity will lose out.

So you really only have to hope that your MIL is sensible enough to stop when she exhausts herself, and doesn't cause an injury by doing the whole thing unprepared and/or at too fast a pace. Do you think she will?