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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To send dd to a school outside of village where we live?

14 replies

monkeytree · 16/01/2016 19:08

I'm in a dilemma. Due to personal circumstances I'm feeling like I want to send dd to a school outside of the village where we live. The school is a very good one but there are other schools about that are also good. I'm worrying that I will be depriving dd of making friends right on the doorstep. Anyone sent there dc to a school outside of their immediate catchment area and if so did it work out O.K?

many thanks mt x

OP posts:

DonkeyOaty · 16/01/2016 19:11

Hullo there

Swings/roundabouts isn't it. Friendships are made via out of school activities as well (Rainbows/Brownies for eg)

AliceInUnderpants · 16/01/2016 19:12

Plenty of kids don't attend their nearest school.

Why don't you want her to attend the village school?

BrianButterfield · 16/01/2016 19:15

My DS goes to a village school - we don't live in the village and I have noticed pupils there from other villages round about (which have their own schools). It doesn't seem to be a problem. Everywhere's near enough to each other anyway as long as you're prepared to drive.

GraciesMansion · 16/01/2016 19:16

Of course it doesn't really matter. Lots of children attend schools away from where they live and have good relationships with a wide range of children. However, part of the reason we moved to a village is that we wanted the dc to attend a village school. Is your reason for choosing another school 'enough'?

Doilooklikeatourist · 16/01/2016 19:19

We sent DD to a school in town , that we had to drive to , not the village school that she could walk to
It was fine , she still had local friends , she also had friends from Brownies and dancing
When she moved up ro secondary school , they were all there anyway

Thebookswereherfriends · 16/01/2016 19:19

As someone who was sent to primary school in another town (despite living directly opposite one!) I would say don't do it unless you then make sure the secondary school she goes to has some kids from her school as well. I had to go to the secondary school back in my home town and knew not a single person - most of the kids had at least one friend from primary. It was really tough for a shy kid.

wonkylegs · 16/01/2016 19:21

We didn't get into the school in the village, (over subscribed and we moved between reception & yr1 ). We ended up in the closest town.
DS has been there 2.5yrs now and is fine. We have school friends and village friends. We got him into the village beaver group, go to events at the hall, with other local kids and I've made friends and he plays with their kids.

GingerNutRiskIt · 16/01/2016 19:27

Both mine go to a school outside the catchment. We have two schools in the catchment, the one school LOST DS1 when he was in nursery there, and I withdrew him from the school because I couldn't trust them after that. He somehow got out of two locked doors and was found by another parent on the main road crying.

The other school in the catchment is a catholic school and we are atheist.

So they go to a school out of the catchment for those reasons. They have their school friends and their home friends. If anything, I think it avoids squabbles because they all have a break from each other. It works fine for us.

StitchesInTime · 16/01/2016 19:34

DS1 didn't get into our only village school (too oversubscribed) so he's had to go to a school outside our village.

He didn't know any of the other children when he started - all but one of the children at his nursery went to the village school, and the other child who didn't get in went to a different school. Most of the kids at DS1's school had come through the school nursery so were already familiar with each other and the school.

DS1's had a hard time settling in and I do wonder if he'd have found it easier if he'd started with a bunch of kids he already knew from nursery. The travelling to school and back would have been much easier if he'd got into the village school too, he's been finding school very tiring and the extra travel doesn't help with that. He's only started this school year though, so still early days.

redskybynight · 16/01/2016 19:34

I think it depends on where all the other children in the village go. My DB and SIL send their DC to a school out of their village and all the other local children go to the same school. As the DC get older they have found themselves very isolated from local children. All very well to say you can get to know them at Brownies, Cubs etc, but if all the children there go to the same school and your DC doesn't, they need to have a particular type of personality not to feel left out.

Tottyandmarchpane1 · 16/01/2016 19:38

My children go to an out of village school, have lots of friends (although I have to drive). I can't say they have ever felt isolated from local children because they wouldn't know any different - the friends they play with are the friends they have made and village children wouldn't cross their mind.

DisappointedOne · 16/01/2016 19:45

I had to go to the secondary school back in my home town and knew not a single person - most of the kids had at least one friend from primary

I went to a village primary, and then opted myself to go to a secondary school nobody else was going to.

toobreathless · 16/01/2016 21:45

YANBU.

We sent DD1 to a school 9 MILES away because it is next to my work so I can do school drop off every day and it is a better school in every respect. There is really no comparison.

We are lucky that almost every school in the region is undersubscribed so we got in. The admission number has just been cut from 60 to 30 so it will be oversubscribed next year but the admission criteria mean that DC2, 3 and possible a DC4 will all get in.

QueenofLouisiana · 16/01/2016 21:56

DS is in a school 3 miles away from the village- even though we live 100 metres from the school entrance. He's made local friends through other activities, has friends from school, scouts, clubs etc.

Bit of a pain when you have to drive friends around, drop DS off etc, but that's just life in a small village anyway- we need to travel for most stuff! All the local kids mix up again between the 2 secondary schools, so I don't think having different groups of friends is a bad thing.

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